EDUCATION FOR LIVE

15 New Years and Holiday Resolutions For Parents

2009-12-27T21:00:00.001-08:00

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food and start a savings plan. While you are reflecting on past bad habits and setting new directions for your personal life consider taking stock of your parenting as well.

A word of warning -- you will probably feel a little inadequate as you look back on some of your past practices. If you are like most parents you nag your kids too much, over-react when they mess up and you probably regret not spending enough time with them. Don't be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world's hardest job but children aren't born with owner's manuals so we tend to rely on trial and error a great deal.

As you ponder the next twelve months of parenthood here are 15 New Year's resolutions to consider. Avoid trying to adopt every idea. Be realistic and choose one or two to add to your list of New Year's resolutions.

1. Be consistent with your discipline. This is a big ask as dealing with kids' misbehaviour tests the patience and resolve of the even the most assured parents. Set consistent limits and boundaries, even for adolescents, and be willing to negotiate and give a little ground. When children refuse to cooperate or break the rules, act calmly and reasonably rather than resort to severe measures to 'teach them a lesson'.

2. Avoid nagging, yelling and constantly reminding children to cooperate. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than nag or remind children to do their chores, behave or just be reasonable human beings. It is no coincidence that parents who nag frequently complain of 'deaf' children. There is usually nothing wrong with children's hearing. They simply listen to what they want to hear.

3. Focus on children's positive behaviours. If you find yourself continually pointing out your children's misbehaviour and getting nowhere then try to ignore the inappropriate as much as possible. Get into the habit of 'catching kids being good'. Like adults, children respond to favourable comments and are likely to adopt behaviours that gain them attention.

4. Encourage children persistently. It has been estimated that children hear 17 negative comments at home for every piece of praise or encouragement. Exposure to continuous criticism and negative comments can have disastrous effects on children's self esteem. If you are not an encouraging person then linking your positive comments to something you normally do such as saying good night to your children. Then you will know that you have encouraged them at least once each day. That's a good start.

5. Spend more time together as a family. In an era of working parents and busy children finding time for everyone to be home together is increasingly difficult. Be specific with this goal or it will end up on the scrap heap of broken resolutions. Aim to have at least one shared mealtime each week or spend one weekend a month devoted purely to family purposes.

6. Give yourself a regular break. Don't be a slave to your family. Taking time out to do something just for yourself is a necessity rather than a luxury. Revise your household routine, solicit the help of your partner or relatives, or employ a baby-sitter to provide you with some time-off.

7. Plan some time to be with your partner. Whether it is a romantic weekend away or just meeting for coffee together once a week make sure you have an opportunity to spend time with your partner - and don't talk about the kids.

8. Make guilt work for you. Let's face it, parents can find plenty of issues to feel guilty about. Leaving children in child-care, long hours spent at work, and even discipline measures are common sources of guilt. Avoid easing your guilt by being too lenient, spoiling or indulging children with toys or other material possessions. Guilt can be beneficial though; if it reminds you to take time off work to attend a child's school play children or prompts you to hire some domestic help to create more family time.

9. Make a plan to survive those difficult times. Only television families are free of manic times of the day. Mealtime mayhem, morning madness and bedtime battles are common in many families. Identify your difficult time of the day and get super organised and be willing to make yourself scarce if children make unnecessary demands on you at these times.

10. Stay out of children's fights. Brawling siblings disturb the peace so it is difficult for parents not to become involved. Chances are you either plead for peace and quiet, make a ruling to end the dispute, or take sides to lay blame on the child who caused the infraction. If you are tired of interfering in children's battles then leave it up to them to resolve. When your children begin to bicker beat it to another part of the house or boot them outside until they have finished.

11. Control that television set. If the television is continually on in your house then it is time to establish some tight limits for viewing. Ten hours per week is a reasonable guideline for children of most ages. Have a television-free night and let children sample other forms of entertainment.

12. Check your children's computer usage. Computers are rapidly replacing the television as the electronic baby-sitter in many families. To be fair, computers have more educational potential than the television but children predominantly use them for games, unless they receive assistance and direction from parents. Pull up a chair and join in rather than leave children to their own devices whenever they hit a computer.

13. Avoid giving into temper tantrums. Do you give in when your toddler throws himself on his back in the supermarket and thrashes about like a crab? Do you throw your hands up in despair if your teenager stomps off to her bedroom slamming the door behind her when she doesn't get her own way? Tantrums are a potent form of emotional blackmail designed to coerce parents to give in to children's demands. Next time your child throws a major wobbly remove yourself and refuse to give in to such tactics.

14. Avoid the 'good' parent syndrome. Good parents protect children from many of life's difficulties and rob them of opportunities to develop independence and responsibility. They take forgotten lunches to school, pay fines for their children's overdue library books and believe that chores are for parents rather than children. If this sounds familiar let children take more responsibility for their own actions in the coming year.

15. Keep misbehaviour in perspective. You probably think at times that your children or teenagers are the world's worst or that no one else acts up like them. Think again. If your child misbehaves the chances are that he or she is no trailblazer. Many others mess up too. That is little comfort, however, if you have to put up with difficult kids day in and day out. Regardless of how hard things become try to focus on their positive behaviours and work hard to maintain your relationship even if it appears that the effort is all one way. Your persistence will pay off in the long run.

By Michael Grose

10 Ways You Can Advocate For Your Child With A Learning Disability

2009-12-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Did you know that you are the most important person in your child's life? Of course you did. But did you know that parents of children with learning disabilities can also be their child's most effective advocate. What exactly is an advocate? An advocate is someone who speaks up for someone else, or who acts on behalf of another person. As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else, and you are in the best position to speak for him and act on his behalf. Here are 10 ways you can do that:

1. Realize from the beginning that advocating for your child takes a lot of time. Advocating involves a great deal of research, meeting time, and communication. That's a given. But the end result will be a successful,responsible, happy young adult who will be able to survive the pitfalls of the real world.

2. Be informed. The more you know about what is going on with your child, the more comfortable you will be in helping others understand him. Here are some ways you can become informed:

Read all you can about learning disabilities (especially your child's learning disability).
Attend conferences. That's a great way to learn and make contact with other people faced with similar issues.
Ask questions - seek answers.
Join a support group if there is one available. You can learn a lot from a support group.

3. Become familiar with the rules and regulations that apply to your child's special education program. You request copies of the regulations from your local school district office (the special education office, if your district has one) or from your state Department of Education. If you have difficulty understanding these rules and regulations, don't be afraid to ask the special education director or your child's special education teacher to explain them to you.

4. Work together closely with the professionals who work with your child. This should be done in a positive, cohesive way in order for the child to gain the maximum benefit. Get to know these people - talk with them on a regular basis. Volunteer in the classroom. Don't be afraid to ask for a meeting with the teacher(s) if you see something going on at home that can be helped at school, or vice versa.

5. Keep track of the paperwork that is given to you at the team meetings. This is valuable information that should be kept in an organized place so that you can refer to it easily. If you aren't sure how to do this, talk with the special education director or special education teacher. They have a system to keep the records organized in the office. Perhaps they would share that with you.

6. Don't be afraid to communicate with the professionals. Be prepared when you go to the team meetings, and don't be afraid to calmly and assertively state your views. Take notes into the meeting with you so you won't forget the questions you want to ask or the points you want to make. Remember, the professionals need insight from you as much as you need insight from them. The more communication you have, the more powerful the educational team to help your child.

7. Don't be afraid to ask questions. The field of special education is as complex as your child's needs. Asking questions doesn't mean that you are stupid. It just means that you are interested in your child's education and well- being and want to be an informed parent. You will most likely hear the professionals asking lots of questions as well!!!

8. Keep the lines of communication open with your child. Talk with him about his life both in and outside school. Allow him to express his frustrations, his successes, his disappointments, his hopes, his likes and his dislikes. The better you know your child and what is going on with him, the better you can help other people to work with him.

9. Know your child's strengths and weaknesses and share them with the professionals. Children with learning disabilities, although they have weaker areas, have many strong areas, too. By highlighting these areas, it makes it easier for the professionals to use them as tools to strengthen the weaker skills. It helps them see the child in a more positive light, and it helps them relate to the child. And it helps your child's self-esteem to know that the teachers sees good things in him.

10. Help your child learn to advocate for himself as early as possible. As time goes on, and your child has heard you advocate for him, he will be able to understand how to advocate for himself. If he's heard you say positive things, not only does it increase his self-esteem but it gives him the confidence to speak up for what he needs. Teach him how to communicate how he learns best, what he needs to help him get the most from his classes, and how he feels when confronted with certain issues, such as testing and peer pressure. Give him the power to make his life a success. You can help your child be able to be a successful, happy, responsible student, well on his way to being the same kind of adult. Advocate for him.

For more plain talk about learning disabilities,
please visit us at www.ldperspectives.com.

By Sandy Gauvin

To Clean or Not To Clean

2009-12-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor! Dishes were done immediately (no dishwasher here!), the toilet was cleaned every morning and the house was dusted and vacuumed quite frequently. Today? The dishes sit on the counter till the next day when I tip-toe to the kitchen before the baby wakes so I can get it cleaned and put away, the house is vacuumed just when it looks like it needs it and the dust sits even now several inches thick upon all my furniture. Oh, and did I mention the toilets are not cleaned every single day?

It is hard keeping a house clean with a toddler running underfoot. Especially one that doesn't like the Big Bad Vacuum Cleaner and starts to cry at the site of it. Well, she's getting better about it now, but still.. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get much done. I find myself sitting down, after the baby has been put down for a nap, and thinking to myself, "I can get the bathroom cleaned, do the dishes, take a nap or read a good book now. Which should I do??" By the time I figure out which one I have the energy to do (or not to do in this case), my daughter wakes up and is ready to go for several more hours! Well, scrap that idea and up I get chasing around after a toddler and playing peek-a-boo. Sometimes, I do choose one of those things and usually it is the nap that I choose to do. So does the house get cleaned? Yah, sometimes. Is it as immaculate as it was before our gem entered our lives? Nope. And you know what? That is just fine!! I treasure each day I have with my daughter and realize that these moments are passing us by so swiftly. It has almost been a year and I can barely remember the day she was born. Everything seems to be going by in such a blur! I truly understand now the phrase "in a blink of an eye"!
There is also a very nice quote that I printed out and put on my fridge that I find quite fitting to how things have changed. I would like to share it with you all: "Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So hide away cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby 'cause babies don't keep." (author unknown)

Another quote I truly find fitting is this one: "Cleaning house while kids are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing." (author unknown) I did find myself organizing my daughter's toys. Her dolls go in the basket and everything else in her other basket. Nice and neat! Even the dolls are all sitting upright and smiling at you when you look at the basket. Does it stay that way? No siree! As soon as she wakes up, she tackles her baskets and out comes all her toys. Now that she is toddling around I am finding it hard to contain her mess -uhmm toys, that is- in one room! I hate to admit it, but some nights I just shove it all to one corner and leave it be, knowing full well it will get messed up the next day, so what's the point? The only bad part about not being so careful about picking up all her toys is when you find yourself getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and you step on a block. Ouch! So do I organize her toys because of that incident? Uh-uh! I just make sure there is a clear path to the bathroom at all times!! So much for Miss Clean, Neat, and Organized but that's okay! I'd trade that title any day for the title of Mom. Seeing my daughter smile happily each morning when she sees me enter the room lets me know that it's all worth it. Cleaning can wait for another day, week, month or even years. Right now I am going to spend the time I have with my baby girl, the brightest thing in my life thus far.

Break Free From Power Struggles

2009-12-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

You want your daughter to wear a dress to the party. She wants to wear jeans. You want your toddler to take his medicine. He does everything he can to keep that yucky stuff out of his mouth. The more you insist, the more they resist. You can break free from power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities by putting a few helpful tips in place:

* Step back and view the big picture. How do you respond when your kids challenge your authority? If you view your kids as "willful," or "bad," consider this: it is developmentally appropriate for kids to test their boundaries. As children grow they have a natural desire to make their own decisions and do things for themselves. They want to separate from their parents and function under their own power. Instead of viewing this as threatening, view it as a necessary part of growing up.

By taking on a big picture view, your emotions won't overpower your judgement when dealing with power hungry kids. When you exert your will through force and intimidation, one of two negative side effects occurs: either your children give in and lose motivation to make decisions for themselves, or they rebel, fighting back against you. When children push for power, remind yourself that a positive response from you can set a course for cooperation and empowerment.

* Break negative patterns. Power struggles follow a pattern like the steps of a dance. They do "this," you do "that." Change the pattern and you change the course of your relationship. Anne has a pattern of engaging Mom in power struggles over her curfew. Anne tells mom, "I'm staying out late." Mom says, "No you aren't." Anne protests. Mom yells. Anne glares. Mom punishes. Anne seeks revenge with rebellious behavior. It's always the same pattern. Once Mom recognized the pattern, she made a conscious decision to change it. The next time Anne said she wanted to stay out late, Mom had a new response. She said, "You really want to stay out late tonight don't you dear?" Anne started to protest out of habit, then looked at Mom in shock. "Yes," Anne said, "I want to stay at Kims house until 11 p.m.." Mom listened to Anne's feelings assuring her that when she got older, she could stay out later.

* Allow kids to make some choices. Lots of parents report success at sidestepping the initial power struggle. Then, they slip back into yelling out orders which sets the pattern back in motion. This can be avoided by giving kids choices that allow both your needs to be met. Judy doesn't want to wash her sticky fingers. Instead of fighting with her, Dad gives Judy a choice, "Do you want to wash with bar soap or liquid soap?" Judy picks liquid soap.

Kids want power. When you give them choices within reasonable limits, it's much easier for them to cooperate. The key to making choices work is to only give choices you are willing to accept. Give "real" choices not manipulative ones, such as this: "You can choose to eat your tuna fish sandwich or choose to lose television for the day." That's not an empowering choice. When you allow children some sense of power in their life, even if it's something small, like what color cup they drink from, what bedtime story they hear, or whether they want to do homework before or after dinner, their esteem grows as they enjoy some control over their lives.

* Empower your kids. When you cannot seem to break free from a power struggle, ask yourself, "How can I empower my child in this situation?" Jane argued with Michael about eating junk food. Every time her back was turned, he devoured everything. Jane decided to give Michael power by telling him, "Michael, I bought one box of girl scout cookies. I will not be buying more snacks until next week. You are in charge of how you want to eat your snacks. You can eat them quickly or make them last throughout the week." Michael counted the cookies in the box and made a remarkably sensible plan for snacking. No more power struggle.

* Do the unexpected. Using humor helps to side step power struggles. Breaking out into a foreign accent or cartoon character voice can lighten the mood. When things are getting tense, wave your hand in the air and say, "Lets erase this whole conversation and start over again." Walk out of the room and come back in, starting over on a calmer note. This can be enough to set things back on track.

* Focus on solutions. Power struggles create a win-lose attitude. No one truly wins unless you both win. Teach kids the importance of listening to and considering each person's point of view. Show them how to look for solutions that work for all. You can say to your child, "Lets see if we can come up with some ideas that take both our needs into consideration."

* Disagreements and disrespect are two different things. Do you believe your children should never say "no" to you? Instead of viewing "no" as a sign of disrespect, view it as a disagreement. We encourage our kids to say "no" to drugs and peer pressure. While teaching kids to stand up for themselves, we must realize there will be times they will stand up for themselves with us. The key is to teach kids to show respect during disagreements. When Andy said, "You can't make me eat those peas. Get them off my plate," it didn't go over well with Dad. He sidestepped the power struggle by saying, "Andy, it's easier for me to be helpful to you if you say something like, 'Dad, I would rather not eat peas with dinner.'" Every time you take a respectful approach with your children you model peaceful ways of dealing with disagreements.

By Marilyn Suttle

Help Your Child Do Better in School

2009-12-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

1. Create a personal schedule
Recording everything that must be done on a calendar or "to do" list will help him to keep track of important dates and deadlines. If he keeps it in a visible place he will have no problem acknowledging upcoming events and will be better able to plan how and where to spend his time.

A "to do" list would also help him to prioritize his tasks. When it comes to homework, whatever is most important should be tackled first.

2. Watch the clock
Setting an alarm for the morning is a must. I also recommend setting his clock or watch five minutes ahead since it's always easy to run late. When it comes to something like catching a bus, just five minutes can make a significant difference.

3. Focus
He should train himself to be able to concentrate solely on one specific task. This is much easier in a noise-free environment. No T.V or radio should be on to distract him.

4. Get enough sleep
Lack of sleep is proven to take a toll on us physically. The more sleep we get, the more alert we are. We thus have more energy to handle life's daily tasks. The average adult needs at least six hours of sleep a night and the average child needs at least eight.

5. Stay in shape
Through spending time outdoors or playing sports with friends, he can "blow off some steam" so to speak, as well as re-energize. Encourage him to get outside.

6. Talk through your problems
Being able to share his concerns with you will alleviate the frustration of keeping things bottled up. Sharing feelings often makes them easier to deal with. If you make it clear that you understand him and are willing to help, not only will you contribute to his emotional health but you'll help build an open and honest relationship as well.

By Denni Gill

Nail Biting Basics

2009-12-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic behavior beset by peculiarity and contradiction. Technically speaking, the correct word for nail biting is ANONYCHOPHAGIA.

Nail biting typically begins between the ages of five and 10 and is common among children as well as adults. As many as one in three Americans bite their nails.

One of the more noteworthy and generally surprising things about nail biting is its high instance. It crosses every social and economic barrier. Prevalence figures for children are much higher than for adults.

Results of nail biting can result in short, ragged nails. It may also lead to damaged cuticles as well as bleeding around the edges of the nails. Infections can also develop if nails are not properly attended to.

Most relevant studies have found that nail biting tends to peak out around puberty.

A study by Malon and Massmer studied the behavior in the Chicago school systems and reported that nail biting is prevalent in about 60 percent of children age eight to eleven.

Most people agree it is a learned habit, perhaps picked up by watching a parent or someone else biting their nails.

Nail biting is an extremely tough habit to break and treatment for it varies.

One possible solution is identifying the reason for nail biting. Avoidance or modification of these situations can be beneficial to the eventual elimination of the habit.

Improving self-esteem is also helpful when attempting to break the habit.

Products such as CONTROL-IT are available on the market and are designed to aid nail biters in breaking their habit. According to www.stopbitingnails.com , CONTROL-IT is a gentle and natural alternative to help prevent biting. A mild unpleasant taste helps to remind users to stop biting their nails.

A host of research efforts both in America and Europe sought to ascertain if in fact nail biting was linked to mental illness in one form or another. Most people would have anticipated they found a high prevalence of nail biting among the mentally disordered; however, they found that nail biting, in and of itself, is not systematic of any form of mental disorder or maladjustment.

Nail biting crosses all national borders, genders, and both social and economic lines and may also originate from a primal need for self-grooming. It affects both the nails and the cuticles; with greater potential harm caused via infection to the cuticle and nail biting tends to be a private affair, and is a relatively isolated form of self-indulgence.

Nail biting may be treated addressing symptom rather than cause; it is a habit, not a disease.

Owner: Christopher Joel Henry;
born: December 18, 1958; birthplace: California
Married: Mrs. Trudy Henry
By Mr. Henry

Back to School Feng Shui

2009-12-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the malls in search of the perfect sneaker or the cool new outfit for the coming school year. However, it's unlikely that the new shoe or shirt will benefit them as much as a new design in the bedroom. That's because a bedroom makeover will create new interest and energy - what feng shui calls "chi" - in the bedroom that will benefit a child.

According to feng shui, the Chinese technique for design and arrangement, rooms that have good energy, or "chi", create happier, well-adjusted children. Feng shui theories suggest that for a child's room to have good "chi," the room must follow certain guidelines such as that they must be restful, promote good relationships others and generate good self-esteem. Perhaps most importantly, harmonious children's bedrooms encourage good study habits and promote greater success in school.

What does it take to promote greater success in school? According to feng shui, the following seven tips are key to creating rooms that inspire kids to study.

1. The room has a desk.
It sounds obvious, but many kids' only workspace is either a bed, the bedroom floor, or the family dining table. Every child needs a suitable study area in the bedroom that includes a desk, chair, and a lamp. Children with study areas are more likely to study. Better still, having a study area keeps all the school books and papers confined to the child's room. Feng shui also believes it's best for children to study facing the northeast, the direction of wisdom and learning.

2. Ground your kids.
Buy your kids a globe to promote interest in geography and to help "ground" them and encourage them to study. Add a globe in the Northeast corner of the bedroom, if possible.

3. Create an achievement corner.
Every child needs to have recognition for a job well done. A perfect way to gain this is to create an achievement corner on the South wall of the bedroom. According to feng shui, this is the recognition area and is a good place to pin up awards, papers with good grades, letters of recommendation, ribbons or trophies.

4. Hang a crystal in the Northeast corner of the room.
Crystals are used to make computer chips faster. Hang a crystal in the study location to create more "study" chi and to help sharpen the child's ability to "process" or think!

5. Put your child in the command position.
Avoid having children face a wall when studying because this represents an obstacle. They should be able to see the door when someone enters.

6. Display maps and other educational artwork.
Maps are another way to ground educational pursuits. They encourage "worldly" interest and curiosity and they make suitable images for a child's room. Avoid scary creatures, pictures depicting violence, or sad or dark subjects.

7. Eliminate TV from the bedroom.
Sadly many of today's children have TVs in their bedrooms. This is a feng shui no-no because it can make children much less likely to study and rest fully. If your child doesn't study as much as you would like and has a TV in the bedroom, ask yourself what is more important: television or school?

8. Shells and fish are symbols of education.
Conch shells and koi or goldfish are excellent symbols of educational success. Place the conch shell in the Northeast corner of the bedroom. Or, hang a picture of koi or goldfish in the Northeast corner. It is not recommended to keep live fish in the bedroom as water in the bedroom is associated with loss.

By Kathryn Weber

Ultimate Airplane Themed Games & Activities for your Childs Birthday Party

2009-12-27T20:27:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for the Ultimate Airplane Themed Party Games and Activities? Well stop looking because they are right here...

Good Luck and happy reading...

"Paper Airplane Contest" Have each child make a paper airplane. Depending on the age of the children, you can either have them create their own, follow a pattern or make them ahead of time. Have various contests, such as, longest flight, highest flight, furthest from a target, best crash, most flips, largest flip, etc. Provide enough categories to allow each child to win a prize.

"Pin the Pilot on the Plane" Draw or copy a picture of a plane on a large piece of paper. Draw an outline where the pilot should be sitting. Make a different pilot for each child and either put a number or name on the pilot to identify the child. You can also cut out a picture of your child and paste him on the pilot's head. Using double face tape, blindfold one guest at a time, spin them around and have them try to place the pilot in the correct location. The child closest is the winner.

"Airplane Search" Fill a large container (swimming pool, sandbox, large bowl, etc work best) with packing peanuts. Put enough die cast airplanes in the container so each child finds one. One at a time, have the children find an airplane. You can time them and see who finds the airplane the fastest. This airplane can go home with them in their goody bag.

"Jet Race" To play this wonderful game, mark a target on the ground a short distance away or make a finish line on the floor with tape. Make a starting line and blow up a balloon for each child. For added effects, place airplane stickers on the balloons. To begin, count down from three. When you say go, each child tries to land his or her "jet" inside the target, or cross the finish line, by tossing or hitting it.

"Musical Planes" Here is one of the children's favorite games. To setup, you need enough airplane cutouts for every child minus one. Check out our Airplane pictures and clipart for some ideas. Place them in a circle so the children have enough room to walk around them. Place the children on the outside of the airplanes and make sure they aren't stepping on them yet. When the music starts, the children will walk around the airplanes. As soon as the music stops, the children have to sit on one of the airplanes. Whoever isn't sitting on an airplane is out. Remove one airplane and continue the game until one child remains.

"Obstacle Course" This game is best played outside in a large open area. Create a runway using masking tape, chalk, cones, etc to mark the boundaries. It should be around 50 feet long and 10 feet wide to allow enough room for the children to maneuver their planes. Get some non-breakable items, such as, bouncy balls, sports balls, tin cans, clothing, toys, blankets, etc. These items are going to represent other planes on the runway.

Next, pair up the children. One child will need to be the pilot and the other will be the air traffic controller. The air traffic controller's job is to guide the pilot (blindfolded) down the runway without running into any other plane (non-breakable items).

How to play: the first pilot stands at the end of the runway with their arms stretched out like a plane. The air traffic controller can stand anywhere along the runway, but the best position is behind the pilot. This will eliminate any confusion when they are using the commands left and right.

Once the pilot is blindfolded, all the other children can throw more objects on the runway to make the challenge even more difficult. After the children have added the extra planes, the controller guides the pilot down the runway using commands like, "Take two steps forward", "One step left", "Two large steps to the left".

If the child crashed, the next team will get to take a turn. Award the team who made it the farthest on the runway, without crashing, a prize.

"Sleep/Stand!" This a great modified game of the old time favorite, Simon Says. Have the children line up and face you, or whoever the caller is. There are only two sayings the children have to listen for: I say sleep or I say stand. When you say, "I say sleep" the children must lie down and pretend to sleep or when you say, "I say stand" the children must stand up. If you say a command without, "I say" and the children do it, then they are out. As the game progresses, say the commands faster. The children will be going up and down so fast they won't even hear the "I say" part. It's a great game and packed full of laughs!

"Where's the Cake?" Children always love to go on a mission to find "something" and this game will definitely be a treat for them. This game is going to require help from friends and be under a lot of adult supervision. Separate the children into two teams and give each team a set of clues and party favors to find. Give each child a bag to put the favors in and make sure that each guest has at least one favor. The clues and favors should lead the children to the cake. Whichever team finds the cake first gets to be served first!

"Airport Field Trip" How cool would this activity be? Do you live near a small municipal airport? A lot of airports will allow you to bring a group of children for a tour of the facility. Give them a call and see if you can plan one during some airplane take-offs and landings. The kids will love this experience and they'll talk about for months!

"Storytime/Videotime" Do you need an activity towards the end of the party which might "calm" the children down? Well, how about a great airplane story or movie? Jay Jay and Friends have a lot of books and movies out and children just love them. Get one and plan it towards the end of the party. This will also give you a chance to do a little cleanup before the parents arrive to pick up their children.

By Geoff Schurman

The Seven Keys of Being a Father

2009-12-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

Is there a fathering instinct?

Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson maintains that adults have a fierce desire to protect and nurture the next generation. This is the generative nature of parenting- to nurture and protect the next generation

We recognise this desire in women as the maternal instinct. Men's strong desire to look after the next generation is best recognised through their protective instincts. Man as hunter and gatherer has always had the survival of his family and community as a motivating force.

But the generative notion of fathering extends way beyond protection of children. Generative fathering means that men help the next generation not just to survive, but to thrive and grow. It is in the wellbeing of the next generation that traditionally men have left their mark.

This generative or instinctive notion of fathering has been lost in recent years as men have spent less time around their children. Fathers may be born to the task of raising children but they need to be around children so they can nudge fathering out them.

Too often fathers see themselves as playing a role, when the essence of fathering is actually embedded in their own psyche and linked to their child's development. According to Erikson there are seven tasks that a father carries out to ensure the well-being of the next generation. It is a brilliant framework that helps men move away from playing roles and gets them to focus on the needs of their children. The seven tasks of fathering, also known as fatherwork, are:

1. Ethical work: Men commit to acting in a child's best interests. Research shows that when men make a strong commitment to look after the well-being of their baby then they will sustain long-term involvement and support for their child. Ethical work is shown when men make decisions about work and careers with their children's best interests in mind.

2. Stewardship work: This aspect of fathering involves men providing for children and also helping them develop the resources and independence to look after themselves. In many ways this shows itself when dads take on a teaching role, which tend to do when they spend time with kids. Listen to a man when he interacts with his son and inevitably he will be showing him how to do something, even if it is how to kick a football.

3. Developmental work: This aspect of fathering refers to the notion of helping children deal with either sudden change, such as a death in the family, or normal developmental changes, such as moving into adolescence. Dads who do this work well support their children though difficulties and respond with understanding to changes in children's development.

4. Recreational work: This aspect refers to men's promotion of relaxation and learning for their children through play. This aspect of fathering tends to be a strong point for many dads, who are the kings of play. It is well-recognised that men play differently with children than mothers, which is fixed in the biological matrix. Men's domain is rough play, sometimes destructive play and often involves a challenge whether intellectual (e.g chess) or physical.

5. Spiritual work: This aspect of fathering involves men helping children develop values and a set of beliefs that will act as a compass as they move through adolescence and beyond. This involves counselling, teaching and advising. Many readers may remember their own fathers delivering stern lectures, which comes from this aspect of fathering. Good intentions, but poor delivery.

6. Relationship work: This aspect of fathering involves men helping children and young people form relationships and friendships. We do this by sharing our love and thoughts, by displaying empathy and understanding for a child and also by facilitating a child's relationships with others. In recent times men have stayed out of this area but it is a part of fatherwork.

7. Mentoring: We complete the cycle by ensuring that we support our own children in their own generative work. This involves giving help, support and ideas for our own children when they move into adulthood. In recent years men have fallen down badly in this area as too many men have shallow relationships with their own fathers.

This framework for fathering has depth and breadth. It works on an instinctive level, but many influences come to bear to prevent this instinct and intuition from informing our action. Often it is useful to ask yourself - "What does this situation with my child require of me?" If a child is having friendship issues at school then relationship work is needed. If a child is feeling stressed and needs to relax then it is time for recreational work. If a child gets worked up through play then it is important to do some stewardship work and ensure a child calms down and regains control before bed. If a child is changing schools then it time for some developmental work, to help him or her cope with change.

If you are a father (mothers can do the same thing), reflect on some of the interactions that you have with children, and determine in which area of fatherwork do they fit. You will find that there is an area for each situation. As you respond to children's needs think about the type of fatherwork you are doing. You will soon discover that you are involved in a variety of very important work. And it will change the way you think about fathering and provide a strong guide to how you should respond to children's future needs.

By Michael Grose

How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success

2009-12-27T20:23:00.000-08:00

Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for the past 12 years I have noticed that there are just a few primary struggles that most adults face. I also see how better training as a child and teen could have given them the skills and attitudes that would have prevented the problems that they now face.

The primary areas adults struggle with are

1. Money, primarily debt

2. Lack of disciple, or the inability to do what they want to do, be it weight, money, work etc.

3. Relationships

As I see it, much of the way we live our lives is groomed as we grow up. And while we can certainly change, it is harder to do the older we get. This can cut both ways: If we are taught correctly we have a high chance of succeeding as adults and if we are taught poorly, there is a high chance that we will continue those poor habits into adulthood and face many difficulties. The good news? We can put our kids on the fast track to success by diligently applying some basic success skills. To get you started, I've brainstormed some ways you can head off your children's problems years before they face them. Here we go!

To have successful relationships:

Show them unconditional love. No matter what, we are to welcome and love our children. This does not mean that we won't get mad at them from time to time or that we won't discipline them when they cross the line. It means that we will always accept them and treat them with the respect they deserve as human beings, no matter what they have done. It means we do not hold grudges against them. We can disagree or even verbally tangle, but then we bury the hatchet and accept one another.

Teach them manners. There are acceptable ways of behaving. Unfortunately, many people today do not know them! Teach your children how to behave so that others are treated well and do not have to put up with our misbehavior. Why? Because they won't put up with it anyway. Many people will simply write you off and never tell you why.

Help them learn to forgive. Most of the relationship problems I work with boil down to this: The people simply will not forgive one another and continue to hold past wrongs against the other person. Here is the fact, and you have to teach this to your kids: People will wrong you. It is what we do with that and how we react that will determine the health of the relationship in the future.

Help them to be able to focus on and serve others. Many parents make their kid feel like they are the center of the universe. One problem with this: They aren't! The world doesn't revolve around your kids and they can't get their way all of the time. What happens later on in life when little Johnny (who was the center of the universe growing up) marries little Suzie (The center of another universe growing up)? You got it, problems! Now they have to share a universe! Instead we should teach our children to help others. We should teach them to consider other people's interests as more important than our own.

To have successful finances:

Make them EARN money. Sure you can give your kids money - we do. But we should also teach them to earn money. We should give them opportunity to earn money. I don't think a kid should get an allowance for doing chores. Chores are the responsibility of being part of the family. But you can give them extra jobs so they can understand fully the hard work they put in and appreciate the value of the money they receive. This will cause them to handle it better.

Have them give money away. Greed works its wonders on some of the nicest people. That is what I have found. And the best way to break greed is to give money away. Our children give away 10% of every dollar they get. This builds generosity into their hearts. We have been doing it so long that it is just a part of them. How can you be greedy about something you are giving away? And when you give it away you can see the good that it does to the people and organizations you help. (One side story: When my son was younger and got one dollar a week in allowance he would give a dime away. He suggested it would be a good thing if he started getting two dollars - because then he would be able to give two dimes away. I don't know if he was being generous or shrewd!)

Teach them about investing. Yesterday I sat in the car explaining the law of supply and demand with my ten year old. Now he knows what something is "worth." Now he knows why Beanie Babies are so expensive but a very efficient way of separating poor investors from their money. My kids hear about the old guns and butter theory (Guns represent items that appreciate and butter represents the things that melt away. Invest in appreciating assets and you can have all the butter you want later on. Invest in butter and you won't ever have the guns.) These are basic principles that will allow your kids to be financially secure and not strapped later on. They will be the lender and not the borrower.

Teach them to delay self-gratification. I touched on this in the last point. If we teach our kids to delay gratification, they can put themselves into a financial position wherein they can actually afford the item they want rather than put themselves into debt or a precarious position to get it. Besides, half the time when they wait, they don't want it in three weeks!

Teach them to never have any debt! No debt. Never. Period. Nada. Never, ever, ever. Pay cash or wait. Okay, did I get that through? Now let me be a little more temperate. Debt has created more problems I have dealt with than just about any other issue. Marriage problems, emotional problems, work problems, spiritual problems, and physical problems. We should engrain it into our kid's heads that the only acceptable debt is a home mortgage and they should be conservative with that and even pay cash if they can! I hear you, "But I can't get the car I want!" Too bad! See the guns and butter theory above! Your kids will visit your grave every week with flowers after you are gone if you love them and teach them to avoid debt.

To help them be successful in discipline:

Have them do certain tasks/chores on a regularly scheduled basis. Discipline is, well, a discipline. Teach your kids to make their beds every morning. Or do wash every Monday. Or mow the lawn every Saturday morning. Building schedules builds disciplined people who do not procrastinate, who are methodical and who are diligent. These are the people who succeed.

Let them experience discipline and consequences. Consequences are the greatest teachers! Many people who I see fail are people who have never suffered consequences. I know a gentleman who couldn't hold a job. His employers were going to fire him. He was always late and couldn't be relied upon - even by his friends. You never knew if he was telling the truth. One day I was talking to him and he said that he had never been punished or disciplined! The light went on! I finally understood. You know the old saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child?" I say, spare the rod and you'll raise a criminal! You may not want to let little Johnny experience the pain of consequences, but his boss will let him feel it 20 years from now! Prepare him for success now by making him realize that if he doesn't do what is right, he will spend a lot of time in his room or he will miss out special things. He will grow up to be the most relied upon person in his office and he'll be the boss one day.

Don't protect them from losing. I coached little league football one year. It just so happens we were the youngest team in the league and we were terrible. One game we were getting beat 55-0 with about five minutes to play and I was getting screamed at by an irate parent. I turned to them and said, "You know. I learned some of my best lessons in 55-0 losses. I took a few of them in my athletic career, and I handed a few out too!" Sometimes we win in life, sometimes we lose. We need to learn what it feels like to lose and then get right back out there. It will prepare your kids much better to lose until they win legitimately than to win all the time. I remember one basketball game when I was on my way to about thirty points and a parent from the other team was screaming about it. My brother, who is 13 years older than me told the guy to sit down because I had earned all those point because of how many basketball thrashings I had taken at his hands through the years. Losing made me better!

Teach them to eat right and exercise. Many people struggle with their weight and it is usually because we learned bad habits as kids. We weren't that overweight when we were younger but as our metabolism slows it catches up with us. Teach your kids basic nutritional information. Teach them how Candy bars plus milk shakes plus no exercise equals trouble! When we go to the health club our kids can swim and play all they want in the pool - as soon as they finish their laps!

Teach them to make tough decisions and learn to say "no." The most powerful word in the world! We should teach our children to understand what is the most important - their priorities - and say "no" to everything else. So many people get themselves into trouble and overextended because they do not have the discipline to say "no." The reality is that you will act on an agenda - either yours or someone else's. Saying "no" enables you to stay on track. Teach them to make tough decisions because it is what is right or because it will be better in the long run, rather than on how it will make them feel.

Encourage them to risk failure and try new things. I have met so many people who were always taught to play it safe. And guess what? They are playing it safe, leading, as the quote says, "Lives of quiet desperation." Teach your kids to try new things and give them the opportunity to do so. Help them see the bigger picture when they fail, like what they can learn from the situation so they can win the next time. It is the people who risk failure and try new things who change the world and lead the lives they want to!

Pitch the TV. Okay, my soapbox: Get rid of the television. If you have to have the one-eyed monster in the house just get a monitor so you can watch videos from time to time. I haven't had a TV for 12 years - and I LOVE IT! My kids are healthy, sociable, well-adjusted, smart kids. They have creative imaginations because they have to picture everything themselves rather than rely on someone else's interpretation. They read many grade levels above where they are. They have time to do all sorts of things that they want to because they have an extra 20 hours a week (1040 hours a year) that other kids their age don't! Someday I am going to write a book on benefits and reasons to get rid of the TV because the fact is you will be much better off without it than you are with it! And so will your kids!

By Chris Widener

Childhood Obesity

2009-12-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but an accurate one. As of 1999 more than 60 percent of American adults were overweight or obese - and obesity among children was increasing faster than among adults. In 2000, 22 percent of U.S. preschoolers were overweight and 10 percent clinically obese.

Nevertheless, there are many who consider obesity an individual responsibility. Writing in the Los Angeles Times in December 2001, Brian Doherty ridiculed former surgeon general David Satcher's "fat war." He called on taxpayer-funded agencies to think twice about spending Americans' money to lecture us on what he considers a matter of private health. He believes obesity is a condition "caused by freely chosen behavior" and maintains people can simply cure themselves of obesity by eating less and exercising more.

Fair enough. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. But you have to wonder if Mr. Doherty has done any research on this issue - or if he's simply speaking as someone who personally has a handle on his own "love handles." If it's the latter, he's to be congratulated for his self-discipline - but rebuked for not digging a little deeper as a journalist. After all, if the majority of people in this country have a weight problem, we need to look into the reasons why. If there are now nearly twice as many overweight children and almost three times as many overweight adolescents as there were in 1980 - and it previously took 30 years for the number of overweight American children to double - we have to admit that something, somewhere, is very wrong.

Certainly, we all wish the problem would just disappear - that it wouldn't be our problem at all. Who at one time or another hasn't wished for a simple solution to the predicaments that plague us? In this case, if everyone just took personal responsibility for her or his own weight gain, we wouldn't have to spend $100 billion dealing with obesity. And there's no doubt that personal responsibility is a good thing. But David Satcher tells us this is "the most overweight, obese generation of children in our history." Exactly whose responsibility is that? Let's think about it.

Without even taking into consideration the $100,000 paid to schools by soft drink companies to fill our children's bodies with empty calories, there's still the issue of recess and physical education disappearing from the schools. Who's making the decisions to eliminate all physical activity from the school day (where children spend most of their waking hours) despite mounting evidence that children need to move - for the health of both their bodies and their minds? Not the children. Given a choice, they'd happily choose to mix some movement into the day.

There's also the matter of loading children's days with activities that preclude "exercising more." Given a choice - and the opportunity - children might well opt to spend more of their time running, jumping, and breathing hard. But they're not being allowed to "choose freely." Rather, the adults are choosing for them - the very adults who are supposed to know what's best for them and who have been entrusted with their care and protection.

Are the children responsible for the fact that 32 percent of two- to seven-year-olds - and 65 percent of eight- to eighteen-year-olds - have TVs in their bedrooms? Is it their fault they're not born with self-limiting mechanisms - and that too often parents have forgotten how to say no? If young children were able to set their own limits with regard to television viewing and computer and video use, they'd need parents only to provide food, clothing, and shelter.

The problem is, once a child is obese because of these adult-made decisions, the odds are pretty much stacked against him. Not only are behavior patterns, like eating and physical activity habits, established in childhood (educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom contended that 90 percent of an individual's habits and traits are set by age twelve), but long-term studies have also shown that excess body fat tends to persist throughout childhood and into adulthood.

And it's no wonder. Not only will "supersized" servings confront her at every turn, but also physical activity will become an even smaller part of the overweight child's life as she gets older. This is true of children in general but is even more probable for the overweight child.

Many of us have nightmarish recollections of trying to climb the rope, or being forced to run laps until overcome with nausea, during "gym class." Surely any kind of physical activity would feel equally nightmarish to an overweight child. Even if they're inclined to move, overweight children are often physically incompetent. According to an article at the website of the International Play Equipment Manufacturers Association (IPEMA), during one study approximately 120 children ages three to ten were observed traversing an overhead ladder. The only children unable to cross the ladder successfully were obese. In another study it was determined that even children's walking patterns were affected by overweight, with obese children walking slower, asymmetrically, flat-footed, and with toes turned out. Over time these poor walking habits can result in structural deformities and damage to body tissue. And, of course, if even walking is a challenge, anything beyond that could be perceived as overwhelming.

Is it any surprise, then, that 40 percent of obese children and 70 percent of obese adolescents become obese adults? Indeed, by the time obese children are six years old, their chances of becoming obese adults are over 50 percent. It's a vicious-circle kind of problem. Lack of physical activity is a primary cause of excessive fat accumulation in children. Then, once overweight, children have a tendency to become even less physically active - a tendency that only increases in adolescence.

Sure, Richard Simmons started out as a "fat kid" and managed to overcome the odds, but he's devoted his entire life to it! Not many individuals are likely to hand over the better part of their lives to rid themselves of excessive fat accumulation acquired before they were even old enough to understand the problem.

But something must be done to ensure physical activity is a part of every child's life. Said Dr. Samuel Abate, at a childhood obesity conference sponsored by the North Dakota Department of Health: "The consequences of denying the body exercise are just as severe as depriving it of food, water, or oxygen; it just takes longer to see the consequences."

By Rae Pica

Top 25 Children Quotations

2009-12-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
-- Franklin P. Adams

"A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine."
-- Anonymous

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."
--James Baldwin

"The best inheritance a person can give to his children is a few minutes of his time each day "
--O. A. Battista

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
-- Bill Cosby

"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it."
-- Monta Crane

"The children despise their parents until the age of 40, when they suddenly become just like them - thus preserving the system."
-- Quentin Crewe

"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say."
-- Wayne Dyer

"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."
-- Albert Einstein

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Teach your child to hold his tongue; he'll learn fast enough to speak."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore M. Hesburgh

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation Where they will not be judged by the color of their skin But by the content of their character."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy."
-- Sam Levenson

"Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it."
-- Harold Hulbert

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters."
-- Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

"Children are living jewels dropped unsustained from heaven."
-- Robert Pollok

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
-- Angela Schwindt

"I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere."
--James Thurber

"Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born."
-- Unknown

"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
--Unknown

"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives. "
--Unknown

"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
-- Zig Ziglar

By Danielle Hollister

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Overscheduled Kids

2009-12-27T20:14:00.000-08:00

Time devoted the better part of an issue to it. Newsweek featured an article titled "Busy Around the Clock." Articles with titles like "Whatever Happened to Play?" "Pushing Children Too Hard," and "Are You Over-Scheduling Your kids?" show up in print media and on the Internet. Books with titles like Hyper-Parenting: Are Your Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? are appearing on bookshelves.

Child development specialist David Elkind writes: "Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities that may be age-inappropriate." Most agree the practice is today's status symbol among families. In short, a superkid is a child pressured by parents and by society in general to do too much too soon. It's a phenomenon in our society in an escalating trend - with no end in sight. It's a frightening thought.

Writing in the magazine Child Care Information Exchange, Johann Christoph Arnold says: "The pressure to excel is undermining childhood as never before." He also asks: "Why are we so keen to mold [children] into successful adults, instead of treasuring their genuineness and carefree innocence?"

We have the best intentions, of course. We want our children to be happy; we equate happiness with success. And we fervently believe that success won't come unless we give our children a head start - a jump on the competition as it were.

But at what cost will all of this "success" come? If children don't learn to play as children, they aren't likely to discover its value as adults. And, oh, what a dreary, deadening existence daily life will become. Think about the following questions, really pondering each for a moment:

* If children begin living like adults in childhood, what will there be left to look forward to?

* What's to ensure they won't be burned out from all the pushing and pressure before they've even reached puberty?

* If we've caused them to miss the magic of childhood, how will they ever find the magic necessary to cope with the trials and tribulations of adulthood?

* What will become of the childlike nature adults call on when they need reminding of the delight found in simple things - when they need to bring out the playfulness that makes life worth living?

* What joy will our children find as adults if striving to "succeed" becomes life's sole purpose?

Childhood is not a dress rehearsal for adulthood! It is a separate, unique, and very special phase of life. And we're essentially wiping it out of existence in an effort to be sure our children get ahead. But when did we decide that life was one long race? When, exactly, did life become a competition?

Young children are not internally motivated to succeed; their only motivation comes from the value we place on success. And they don't want to let us down. As a result, stress is often a principal factor in the life of a superkid. Of course, into every life a little stress must fall. But when it becomes more than a person is capable of handling, it becomes unhealthy. Studies have shown that the brains of stressed preschoolers now look remarkably like the brains of stressed adults, which have excessive levels of adrenaline and cortisol, the chemicals responsible for the body's fight-or-flight reaction. Young children, who don't have the vocabulary or understanding to express what they're feeling, will often act out as a way of coping.

But there's more than stress involved in pushing children onto the fast track to success before they even understand the concept. For one thing, children aren't allowed to discover motivation on their own - and motivation is often more important to success than talent. Pushed children never have the opportunity to discover who they are. And they never learn to be at ease with themselves when alone, with time on their hands. Having experienced life "by the clock" - and almost constantly surrounded by others - these kids have never learned the joy of solitude, of having only oneself for company. Not only does this mean they're unable to practice self-reflection, but they're also unable to simply be.

Not long ago, in an attempt to help adults realize the folly of all work and no play, a saying began appearing on bumper stickers and in e-mails. It read: "No one ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'" Whether or not the saying had the desired effect remains to be seen, as adults appear as determined as ever to fill up their time with accomplishments. But someone had the right idea, and evidently quite a few people agreed with the sentiment. Isn't it now time to consider the same sentiment as it relates to children? Is there anyone who would say, at the conclusion of childhood, "I wish I'd had less time to play"? Who, after all, wants to look back on life and regret passing up that one and only opportunity to just be a kid?

By Rae Pica

Paediatric Osteopathy

2009-12-27T20:09:00.001-08:00

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't sleeping or is just plain irritable, many parents have found that a paediatric osteopath can help, particularly if the birth was difficult.

By gently touching a baby, an osteopath can use manipulation to ease the tension and help improve the way baby's body functions. During birth and pregnancy your baby's body is subject to considerable pressure and can suffer physical strain.

Andy Naddick, from the Osteopathic Centre for Children says: 'All your baby's systems are interconnected - the skeleton, the muscles, the internal organs and so on. If pressure or tension occurs in one area, the effect can continue throughout the body. For example, if there's an imbalance in the shoulder, your baby may hold her body awkwardly, which in turn may cause irritation in the chest or tummy, affect her digestion and even sleep patterns.' An osteopath uses gentle touch to find the parts of the body which may become stressed, strained or unaligned.

At your first visit to an osteopath he will take notes about your pregnancy and the birth to identify any problems. He will then examine your baby and very gently work on her body using subtle manipulation.

'Each child and every treatment is different' says Andy, 'but most babies usually only need three or four sessions to assess response to treatment. Your baby grows fast and has great potential for change and improvement, so getting her back to "normal" doesn't take long.'

Paediatric osteopathy has been shown to be effective with many serious conditions including epilepsy and cerebral palsy. It is also helpful for the following baby problems:

Wind and tummy pains.

Prolonged bouts of crying.

Fractiousness and irritability.

Frequent waking.

Feeding difficulties.

All osteopaths undertake four years training,

followed by a further two years in paediatric osteopathy.

****************************************************************

Author: Tony Luck

Managing Sibling Rivalry

2009-12-27T20:07:00.000-08:00

It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward others. A moderate spirit of competition is a positive and productive attribute in school and in business. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up in families. The competition between siblings starts when the second child is born. Unfortunately, many parents ignore it and some even make the situation worse.

When occasional fighting becomes a constant series of arguments and fights, it must be dealt with to avoid years of discord and even potential danger. Here are some tips that will help you lessen your frustration over argumentative brothers and sisters and help them learn to get along better.

Do your best to offer each of your children equal amounts of praise and attention. This is true if they are competing for your attention or if they are participating in a school or sports activity.

Encourage your children to participate in activities that they truly enjoy. Don't expect them to always join activities that they must do together or where they will be competing against each other.

Children sometimes perceive that their parents favor one child over the others. While some parents do prefer one child to the others, it is usually not a conscious choice. If your child tells you that you favor his or her sibling, pay attention to your behavior; maybe there is some truth to it. However, if you know you are being fair or if there is a valid reason for treating one child differently, stand firm. Sometimes children use the "favorite child" complaint as a way to make you feel guilty and give them what they want.

Sometimes one child is more cooperative or better behaved than another. It's normal to compare siblings, but it's generally better not to talk about it. Comparing two kids doesn't help improve their behavior; instead, it intensifies the sense of envy and jealousy. A more constructive strategy is to limit your comments to the problem behavior. Always avoid telling one child that his or her sibling does something better.

Make it a rule that family members may become involved in incidents between siblings only if they actually saw what happened. This keeps people from being manipulated.

Realize that younger children can be the aggressors. Don't automatically rush to their defense.

If two kids are fighting over a toy, take it away. This discourages them from arguing over who can play with what.

When two kids are fighting, make them share a chair and look at each other in a mirror. With all the goofy faces they make in the mirror the disagreement is soon forgotten and they are laughing like best friends.

If the kids continue the fight after a few minutes in the chair, assign them a chore to do. The excess energy they are directing toward each other is soon put to better use setting the table or picking up the toys.

Use the Active Listening technique to allow siblings to express their feelings. When kids fight, parents often try to talk children out of their feelings by saying things like "Stop arguing with Tony, Sarah. You know you love your brother." Instead, you could acknowledge the child's feelings by saying, "Sounds like you're pretty upset with Tony." You might be surprised to see that this defuses the emotion and enables Tony to move on to something else.

When you give things to children, base your choices on their individual needs and interests. If you try to avoid arguments by giving equal gifts to each child, they will inevitably find something about them that is unfair.

When your children are in an argument, avoid taking sides. If you can, encourage them to work out their differences. It is almost impossible to try to determine who started a fight. Even if you know who started the argument, taking sides only makes things worse. If your children learn that you will not enter their minor disagreements, they will have to learn to settle things between themselves.

Take a parent education instructor course. As you educate yourself about parenting, you will change some of your attitudes toward your children and learn new ways to interact with them. You can have the kind of family you want if you are willing to work at it, make some changes in your own behavior, and be patient for things to improve.

You may think that rivalry will stop magically if only you learn to do the right thing. However, learning new behaviors takes a lot of time and persistence.

It is important to address the issues of sibling rivalry when children are young, because it can intensify and persist as children become adults. It is important not to give up when you feel frustrated. Things may even seem like they are worse before they start to improve. Because of your efforts and persistence, your children will learn how to get along better. That will prepare them to have productive relationships in the future.

By Garrett Coan

Surviving as a Single Parent

2009-12-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

Emotional Overload

Many single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as "extra baggage." Some examples include:

? Self-pity

? Depression

? Guilt

? Anger

? Envy

? Fear

? Severe money problems

? Loneliness and isolation

? Frustration

? Exhaustion

These issues present such a challenge because they undermine your daily functioning and emotional well-being. But they can be managed successfully so that you manage your family in a positive way.

10 Ways to Speed Your Recovery Process

Becoming divorced or widowed and then facing years of single parenting is a shock to anyone who experiences it. You will need to take steps to recover and heal. Here are some suggestions:

1. Some churches, synagogues, counseling centers, and therapists offer free and low-cost divorce recovery workshops and grief support groups. Look for them in the newspaper and Yellow Pages. If you don't see any listed, call a few places that may be able to refer you.

2. Look for local peer support groups and networks.

3. If you have access to the Internet, search for support services in your area.

4. Also on the Internet, look for chat rooms or bulletin boards where single parents post messages and share ideas.

5. Find library books for kids about divorce and single-parent families, and read them together. Take the time to talk about how they relate to your situation and encourage your kids to talk about their feelings.

6. Find a support group for children of divorce.

7. Tell your children's teachers and the school psychologist that you are a single-parent family. Let them know that you welcome feedback and suggestions on coping with your circumstances.

8. When you are ready, investigate groups like Parents Without Partners for single adults. You need to be with other adults who have similar interests.

9. Learn to help your kids talk about what is happening to them.

10. Learn conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.

Single-Parent Survival Strategies

In addition to recovering from the loss of a partner, you will need to take action to survive and thrive in the coming years. The following strategies provide a starting place.

1. Watch out for too many changes in your life as you recover from both the loss of your spouse and the resulting changes in your life circumstances. Change causes stress, and you have enough right now.

2. Realize and accept that you must get help with your single-parenting responsibilities. It is unrealistic to think that you can do it alone.

3. Manage your own emotions so you will be able to help your child manage his or her struggle. Learn as much as you can about how children respond to divorce, the death of a parent, or life in a single-parent home. Do not expect your child to respond the same way you do. Take your child's developmental stage into consideration when responding to his or her behavior.

4. Give your children permission to talk to you about their feelings.

5. Keep appropriate boundaries.

? Don't give in to the temptation to let your child take care of you.

? Let your children be children.

? Avoid burdening them with your feelings and the facts of the divorce or death of your spouse.

? Find another adult to be your sounding board.

6. Let people help you.

? If it is impossible to reciprocate, say so.

? People know that your life isn't like it used to be.

? Don't let your inability to reciprocate prevent you from accepting what people willingly offer.

7. Let go of your need for perfection. You will have much more stress if you don't lower your expectations.

8. Even though you are unable to be present as much as in the past, your children still need adult supervision. Look for ways for other adults to look in on your kids when they are home alone, even when they are teenagers.

9. Just because your child appears to be handling his or her emotions well, don't assume that he or she is okay. Some kids respond to parent loss by becoming overly responsible or by closing down their emotions. They may need to hear, "Tell me how you're feeling."

10. While it is important to listen and accept your children's feelings, it is equally important to set limits on behavior.

11. Cultivate your ability to be flexible and find creative ways to solve problems.

12. Learn to set priorities. Do the most important things first.

13. Trust your gut feelings. Pay attention to your instincts and act on them.

14. Simplify as many things as possible in your life. You cannot afford to keep it complicated.

15. Find an outlet for your anger. If a friend is not available, look for a minister, rabbi, or professional counselor. If money is an issue, look for a therapist who will see you for a low fee.

16. Teach yourself to let go of guilt. You don't have time for it, and it's not necessary.

17. Focus on issues you have control over. If something is beyond your control, don't waste your emotions on it.

18. Create a ritual to mark the change in your circumstances. This could be a funeral for your spouse or a ceremony to acknowledge your divorce.

19. Keep a private journal in which you express your feelings. Be sure to keep it in a private place where your children won't find it. A journal provides a place to express anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear-all of those feelings you feel every day as a single parent.

20. Remind yourself that recovering from divorce or the death of a spouse will take time. Your recovery will happen on its own schedule, and it will happen. You will get through this intact.

21. Learn to be assertive. You can't say yes to every request, whether it is from your family members or people in the community who want your time and resources. If you give it all away, you will have nothing left for yourself.

22. Find ways to take care of your body. Get regular checkups and make time to exercise. You need rest now more than ever. Watch your alcohol intake.

23. Find someone who will listen to you. Sometimes you have to ask, for example, "I need a sounding board right now. Can I have 15 minutes of your time?"

24. Rent a sad movie and let yourself cry (when the kids aren't around). Crying allows you to release the sadness that you are sure to feel.

25. Do at least one fun thing for yourself every week.

26. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you're afraid of.

27. In your private journal, make a list of all the things you worry about.

28. Get together with other single-parent families. Sharing times with people facing similar issues can make you feel normal.

By Garrett Coan

Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem

2009-12-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

Here is a list of ways to convey the message "You are worthwhile" to your children. This list could fill a hundred newsletters, since the ways to raise responsible, happy children are limited only by our imaginations. Here are some places to begin.

1. Tell her on a regular basis that you love her. Actually say the words. If you think, "I don't have to tell her. She knows," you are wrong. It doesn't count if you think it but don't say it out loud.

2. Tell him that you are glad he is your child. Say the words and mean them. If you don't feel it, there is something wrong and you should find out what's going on. We all have moments when we have a hard time getting in touch with our positive feelings for our children. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about in general, most of the time, if you're not feeling good about being your child's parent, something is wrong. He will never feel good about himself if he senses that you are not connected to him.

3. Give her an example to follow. Take the time to teach her the steps. Kids need models. It's unfair to expect that she will know what to do in her daily life if you haven't shown her how to do it.

4. Spend time with him. If you are absent most of the time, he notices, and he probably thinks it's because he isn't important enough.

5. Look at her when you speak to her. This conveys, "This is important and you are important."

6. Look at him when he speaks to you. This conveys, "What you are saying is important. You are important."

7. Explain why. It takes more time, but it conveys that she is important enough to spend the time helping her understand. When you explain why, you are also saying, "I understand that you need to know why. I am going to help you meet your needs."

8. When he tells you about something that happened, ask him how he feels about it. Take the time to listen to his answer.

9. When you ask a question, encourage her to elaborate. Say, "Tell me more about that," or ask, "What was that like?"

10. When you ask a question, don't interrupt when she is answering.

11. When you ask a question, watch your responses. Don't disagree or criticize his answer. This teaches him that it isn't safe to be candid and will make him edit what he tells you.

12. Take her seriously.

13. Participate in the driving. The kids whose parents never help with the driving feel bad about themselves.

14. Say no when you need to say no. Kids need to know there are limits and that some things are outside of those limits.

15. When you say no, explain why.

16. When you say yes, explain why.

17. Set a positive example with your own behavior. You can only expect her to behave with dignity and self-respect if she sees you doing it.

18. When you lose your temper or make a mistake, apologize. Say that you are sorry, be specific about what you are sorry for, and give him a chance to respond.

19. When you know that you have disappointed him, acknowledge it. Ask him how he feels about it.

20. Spend time alone with her. Arrange activities for just the two of you.

21. Ask him what he would like to do.

22. Give her a private space where she can express herself.

23. Respect his privacy.

24. If he did a good job on something, say so.

25. If she didn't do such a good job on something, point out what she did well.

26. After a disappointment or failure, ask, "What did you learn from the experience?"

27. When you are giving feedback, describe specific behavior. For example, "I like how you asked the question so politely" or "You still need to pick up the towels off the floor."

28. When there is a problem, focus on the issue, not the child. For example, "You didn't do the last ten problems on this assignment" is more constructive than "You never finish anything."

29. Ask what he thinks.

30. Let her be the one to choose the restaurant, movie, or activity some of the time.

31. Ask him to go with you on routine errands just because you want to spend some time with him.

32. Touch her when you talk to her.

33. Give him a hug at least every few days.

34. Go in and say goodnight before she goes to sleep. (This is easy to forget once they become teenagers.)

35. Look up and smile when he walks into the room.

36. Introduce yourself when she is with a new friend.

37. Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading or the movie she just saw.

38. Review child development literature regularly to stay updated on what is normal at each age and stage. It is important to recheck your standards and expectations to be sure they are realistic for the child's age and individual abilities.

39. Look for ways to maintain your own self-esteem. If you are unhappy, discontent, or disappointed in how your life is turning out, it will be difficult for you to build the self-esteem of your children.

40. Every child needs to be the object of a parent's undivided attention on a regular basis.

41. Make certain that your body language matches your words. If they are out of synch, he will be aware of it.

42. Be yourself. Tell the truth.

43. Be appropriate. You don't have to say everything that is on your mind or tell him things he isn't ready to know.

44. If you show that you accept yourself and your actions, you give permission to her to do the same.

By Garrett Coan

Managing Your Stepfamily

2009-12-27T20:00:00.000-08:00

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know how difficult it can be to integrate all of the new members and adjust to the new boundaries and rules. The following ideas may help you make a successful transition during this challenging process.

Have patience. Establishing new families takes time. Just because you love your new partner, it is unrealistic to think that you will automatically love his or her children. It is equally unrealistic to expect that your new partner's children will instantly love you. It can be difficult to accept that even though you wish to have a relationship with your stepchildren, they may not be ready for a relationship with you.

Expect to adjust. With proper help and guidance, children can recover from family disruption. All children experience a difficult adjustment period following a divorce or remarriage.

It takes time, patience, and perhaps some professional assistance, but most children are able to regain their emotional bearings. It is critical that the adults manage their own emotional recovery in order to help the children adjust without trauma.

If you are part of a part-time stepfamily, you may need a longer adjustment period. All relationships take time to grow and develop. When stepchildren see you less often, you have less time to get to know each other. This is why it may take a part-time stepfamily longer to move through the adjustment process.

Don't expect your new family to be like your first family. If you expect that your stepfamily will be just like the family of your first marriage, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Your new family will have its own unique identity and will evolve in its own special way.

Expect confusion. Forming a stepfamily is a confusing time for everyone. Think about how confusing it is for a child to become part of two new families. All of the family members-parents and children-must learn to understand the new structure and learn to navigate the boundaries.

Allow time for grieving. Stepfamilies begin with an experience of loss, and everyone needs to grieve. The adults' losses are not the same as those of the children, and both must be respected. Adults grieve the following losses:

? The loss of a partner

? The loss of a marriage relationship

? Lost dreams of the way they thought it would be

? They must adjust to changes that result from the divorce or death (moving to a new house, starting a new job, adjusting to changes in lifestyle, etc.)

Children grieve, too. Their losses are usually different from those of their parents:

? They may now be living with one parent instead of two.

? They may have less time with one or both parents during times of dating and remarriage.

? There may be less stability in their homes.

? They must adjust to changes that result from the divorce or death. (They may have a new place to live and go to a new school; they may have lost friends in this process.)

? They have lost the fantasy of how they wanted their family to be.

Children have an especially difficult time resolving their grief when their parents are hostile with one another, when one or both of their parents remarry, and if they have trouble accepting their new stepparents.

Acknowledge the absent parent. When one of the original parents is absent, the children need a special kind of understanding. An absent parent (who has died or who lives elsewhere and doesn't visit) is part of a child's past. The child must be allowed to have memories of this parent. The children who have access to both of their parents are those who adjust the best to divorce. They should be allowed to regularly speak with, visit, and write to their noncustodial parent.

Help the kids fit in. Children of stepfamilies belong to two households. It is understandable that they have questions about where they fit in. They are usually able to adjust to having two sets of rules as long as they are not asked to choose which is better.

Be clear about the rules. Ideally, both sets of parents should discuss the family rules and what will happen if rules are broken. When the adults agree on the rules, they should explain them to the children. Most successful stepfamilies have learned that the rules should be decided together in the beginning, and that the biological parent should do the explaining and disciplining. The stepparent may have more involvement after the relationships with the stepchildren have been established. All of this works best when the parents can agree to be flexible and cooperative with one another. This may be difficult immediately following a divorce or remarriage, but it is important to work toward this objective.

Educate yourselves and seek emotional support. Read books about managing stepfamilies, attend classes, and participate in stepfamily support groups. Seek the help of an experienced mental health professional to help you through the rough spots. Marriage and Family Therapists have specific skills and training for working with families and stepfamilies.

Give the kids their own space. Make physical space available for the children who don't live with you. Children need a sense of belonging. Creating a room or section of a room for visiting children will help them feel like part of your family.

Expect them to think it's temporary. Accept the fact that your children may expect you and their other parent to reconcile. They may fantasize that your new relationship with your partner is only temporary. This is especially true in the beginning. Find a time to sit down with the children and explain that when two people are unable to live together anymore, it doesn't mean they love their children any less. This is especially important for the parent who has moved away, since the children will inevitably feel a sense of rejection.

Expect resentment. No matter how good a parent you are, you will never be the biological parent of your stepchildren. It is natural for a stepchild to feel some resentment for you, especially when you are setting limits for their behavior.

Show the children love. Sometimes children need love the most at a time when it is the most difficult to give it to them. While bad behavior should never be rewarded, always praise children when they are behaving well.

By Garrett Coan

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment as a Party Activity

2009-12-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for your next kid birthday party.

This activity, which is strictly speaking a kid science experiment, can be used in any party as entertainment. Even better: have a "Mad Chemist" theme and use this idea as one of the kid experiments.

Fill a plate or saucer with milk and put in a few drops of food coloring on top of the milk in different spots. The smaller the drops the better.

Use a spoon to pour a small amount of dishwashing liquid into the milk. Pouring it into the center works best.

Now watch the colors dance and explode.

This might sound very simple to you, but I've done this a few times with kids aged 6 - 10 and was amazed at how much pleasure this gave them! Let them each do their own - provide different colors and encourage them to try out different things. You will be amazed at the beautiful patterns they manage to create. Allow them to repeat the process a few times. They'll get the hang of it after one or two tries. If the kids are too small to do it themselves, you can do it as a demonstration. Or, why not just let them bring old clothes with, put down lots of old newspapers and allow them to make a big mess. They will love you for it!

Explanation: Water has a "skin" called surface tension. This is a force on the surface of water which pulls it inwards. Soap or dishwashing liquid breaks down the surface tension and stops the skin from forming. This stops water sticking together in drops and so it flows more easily into all the places where dirt collects.

By Anne-Marie Killer

Teach Your Kids to Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs in the Future

2009-12-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that has not only attacked the United States, but internationally as well. To keep our children healthy and keep health care costs down, we must examine even the simplest angles to prevent this problem.

33% of boys and 27% of girls are considered overweight according to the American Obesity Association's latest numbers. 15% of children are obese.

It is necessary to educate our children about healthy eating and proper physical fitness before their weight gets out of control. The statistics are readily available through an internet search and they definitely speak for themselves. There is no need to go deeper into them for our purposes.

One of the best ways to start your children on the right path is to cook together. As evident in my college roommates, cooking knowledge is no longer passed down from generation to generation. It seems we have a tendency to rely too heavily on processed foods that are minutes away from the dinner table.

Learning to cook is one of the best things a person can learn. They will be more apt to eat healthier foods while staying away from fast food and microwave dinners. An avid cook tries new foods and learns to get the most out of them.

Cooking with your kids will give them a basic foundation and possibly a passion for the culinary. They will take these skills with them and they will not be afraid of the kitchen.

When they head to college, they will save money by shopping at the grocery store and not spending it on junk hamburgers with a super-sized order of french fries and a gigantic soda. They will know how to battle their way through the kitchen, and who knows, maybe you will have learned something for yourself.

By Robb Ksiazek

Success Beyond Child Birthday Party

2009-11-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

Confused would make Child's Birthday Party? Try, wearing a party organizer services. More practical, and covered the event will be successful.

"What would a birthday boy or girl? He was what?" the owner of the "Party Time Studio" asked , to his client.

Such questions are almost always necessary to determine the theme of children's birthday party will be chosen. "Usually for 1-3 year olds parents who chose the theme of children's birthday party. Because this age child can choose their own yet. Meanwhile, for children ages 4 and up are able to talk to and choose his own."

Preparation child's birthday party, despite using a party organizer, as done in advance. From registering the name of the invitation, made the invitations, preparing the gift, place, food, events and so on.

Kinds of Games

Birthday party decor is very dependent child and the party theme. Can of styrofoam and canvas backdrop. Of course, different decor in the ballroom at the garage with the house or in the park. Stage decorations can be made all kinds, shapes houses, caves, palaces to the sea atmosphere. Equipped with various accessories, such as balloons, both gate and hanging balloons, nametag for a birthday, and a small chair colors.

When a child's birthday party is generally performed best afternoon and take holidays. Usually not all the guests arrive on time. Because it provided counter games that kept the two costumed men. Like fish fishing game, throwing a ball, playing golf and face painting (paint or smear-streaked face). So while waiting for another invitation to children to play games.

For the richness of child's birthday party, the MC will actively involve all participants of the party with a variety of games / contests. Invite usually grouped according to age. For 1-3 year olds singing contest was held, showing members of the body, or a costume contest, hat and so on. "The courage to appear in public for a toddler to be something extraordinary." While the game 4-year olds are racing to answer the riddle or general knowledge. This encourages them to be active and creative. Each race is usually a reward.

Types of Games In Kids Birthday Party

2009-11-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

The game could be all kinds, from my experience celebrating the birthday or the Kids Birthday and came at a friend's birthday is like a child:

1. musical chairs while playing music (the first chair was 5, minus 1 to 1 until there is only 1 seat for 2 children) .. a problem child could not chair, away ....

2. Game boy was told to say a thousand, two thousand to ten thousand with a quick note .. children usually wrong to talk, and usually a happy child precisely.

3) The game was told talk: HEAD carded, Coconut grated with fast tone

4) Children told to open his mouth shut. instruct adults Open, closed, open, close. closed, open ...... there is usually a culprit should be closed or open on the other hand ...

5) Looking for a kiss to her mother got her lipstick. Lipstick is clear and large stuck .. he wrote a reward for kids birthday .... more festive.

6) The question of the identity of the birthday child as the long name problem child's birthday, parent's name, where the child is born rs etc.

7) a guessing game ... or a fun song .. sung by a number of animals / fruit (composed his own songs at the end of the song ).... they will be told to count how many animals / fruit.

Preparation Birthday Party Little

2009-11-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

3 days before D-day

1. Prepare all documentation tools that will be used for the Birthday Child. Such as camcorders or cameras. Do not forget to check the batteries.

2. Contact your child's mother and the teacher asked for help to remind again of the child's birthday party that you throw to your friends baby.

3. Number catering where you order a child's birthday and the store where you order a cake to ensure your order can be delivered on time.

4. Number is also a child's birthday clowns and magicians to make sure his arrival.

5. Begin decorating the birthday child.

6. Make arrangements in the child's birthday events in detail

It's time to party!

1. Several hours before the event begins a child's birthday, little preparation checks.
2. Decor Check child's birthday, preparation of food and seats for the invitation.
3. Run plan a birthday party with the perfect child.
4. Do not forget, give your baby a surprise by giving a birthday gift for a child he dreamed of!

Celebrating First Anniversary For Children

2009-11-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

Kids Birthday actual problems observed or not is up to each parent alone. There are some parents do not have to argue with reason that year-olds will not understand about kids birthday or even be bothered dengen party scene. There are also parents who think as a memento that remains is the celebration in the form of kids birthday party. So whether or not to be returned to the parents of each child.

Celebrations:
For kids birthday celebration simple, usually by just 1 small tart fruit, complete with candles. The most important and photo cameras to immortalize the memory of your child's birthday. There are some families celebrate with a simple party with a small guest age child's birthday, and or the nearest relatives only. We can also celebrate the birthday kids sikecil by distributing food delivery to the surrounding neighbors who also have young children. Delivery can be equipped with an inflatable balloon. Equipment for kids birthday party small.

Event:
There are several alternative events such as singing kids birthday, kids playing games, reading children's stories or puppet plays. But that must be considered is the length of the party, not more than 1 hour. Because of her small guests can not stand for long partying and going to fatigue and boredom. And the kids events diacara birthday child is usually the more active is the introduction, because the small guests will be busy with other things that he thinks is more attractive.

Food:
Mie Goreng, sausage and fried potatoes, Mini Pizza, Brownies, spring rolls, pudding, fruit or ice can also call the mobile food vendors. Usually small guests less interested in food served kids birthday, so more food for the introduction.

Bag:
Can fill all sorts, from small food, balloon-stemmed, story books, fruits or other goods.

Teach Children Love Music

2009-10-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

To teach children love music, you do not need to be a maestro for it. Simply create music-loving environment. How?

* Sing with your baby

Every time I hear the song on the radio, tapes, or television, go hum. Do not worry if your sound discordant, hoarse, or not memorized the words. Most important, make music to the self-interaction of the child and show that you love music. By contributing to hum or whistle, it was a sweet music in your child's ear.

* Living with Music

Turn on the radio, tapes, or CDs. Familiarize they hear music, dancing with the music, and create all the activities with music. Make music a part that can not be removed from the lives of your children.

* Play all types of music

Children can receive all kinds of music. By listening to various singers and variety of songs, then you've done to create a stimulating musical environment. In addition, the child also will learn enrich the music.

* Come Singing

Sing or whistle tunes beginning of a song of the little known. Encourage the child to continue or finish the sentence of the song.

* Watch the show

Have the child watch a show or a concert for children such as operetta, ballet, or musical drama. And also the streets of Music Shop

* Provide reading about music

Relate the story of the life history of famous musicians. Besides the interesting plot, could also inspire the spirit of a child to love music more.

* Include private Les music or at a music school

Include children in music lessons, or if the vocals. There, children will be trained to sing, dance, as well as learn about musical instruments (Rental Sound System) is simple. If you want more child development can be monitored by selecting the music private lessons, teachers come to your house

* Dancing to music

Almost no children who do not like dancing. Usually they sing while dancing, even shouted, waving his body.

* Performance Capabilities

If your child learn to play the piano (Things Antiques) or other musical instruments, why not asked to appear to show skill?
Ask the skill he demonstrated in front of his grandfather and grandmother's extended family. Make a video recording of this show and give a special gift to his grandparents.

In this way, the child will feel proud and encouraged to love music.

Determining The Child Study Guide

2009-10-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

1. Consider quality

Finding places tutoring / courses as important as the school search. Do not just cheaper then the quality of those courses where you ignore completely. As a motorcycle ads on television: "Can inexpensive but not cheap". This means that, in addition to cost considerations, consider also the quality. Yes what? Why? Because it is the quality of courses for children also will determine how the child's future ability of the material taught him lessons.

There are 3 ways. First, note the quality of graduates or former students who had studied there. You can view or ask them how the quality of courses such as Indonesian Language. If indeed the quality of graduates or former students' achievement enough you can be pretty sure that the place was pretty good tutoring quality.

The second, see faculty capabilities. You have to make sure faculty have enough knowledge, know how to motivate students and understand the character of children. The third is a method of education offered. Make sure that the method of education offered good enough. Thus, the money you spend will not be in vain.

2. Check location

Now, this. Location problem is quite important because it can effect on transport costs which would you spend for the child. If his courses place far enough away from home, then the transportation costs incurred will be big enough, but there is a risk the child will also experience fatigue at the trip could ultimately affect the mastery of the material. In addition to transportation costs, you also have to consider to give a little extra pocket money for the child while he studied at the tutorial.

3. See environment

Environmental tutoring or extracurricular courses such as ballet classes will usually be different from the school because his friends will also be different, so it is very important indeed to consider the environment where the lessons to be entered into the child. Another example, it's friends of the child lessons are children who behave irreverent and mischievous. It was certainly a lot can affect the child. If he does not fit, then he will tend to be alone. But if he was fit and wanted to go with the stream, then he might be behaving like his friends had. So, once again, a good learning environment, will provide better benefits for your child. In the end, again, the money you spend will not be in vain if you could choose a course that has a good environment.

4. Encourage your child

Which will follow the guidance of learning / course was your child, not you. Because of that, try, and ask him to come check out the places the course before you actually put it there. Every now and then ask him if he fits with the course. Ask him if he was comfortable with the environment place. In addition, make sure also that he did not feel compelled to follow the tutorial. Remember, do not impose your will on him. Try to get him in ways that are attractive, so that he can also enjoy the learning process which he lived. Maybe not just formal lessons that must be given a course, such courses could also be a picture of their educational alternatives.

Coaching Creativity by Drawing

2009-10-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Stimulate creativity in children can be introduced in the language of images. Certain pictures with different colors can be a main attraction for your baby. Use a medium sized book that pictures appear more clear and bright. Certain pictures with different colors can be a main attraction for the little guy.

This introductory activity should be done as early as possible. You can start taking pictures to see various wild animals, both extinct and still there. For example, dinosaurs, tigers, wolves, rhinos, and others.

Facilitate your child with books and the media during the course Fig. Choose books that can summarize all. For example, the book invites children to enrich and increase vocabulary, math, puzzle, coloring, complete letters of the names of animals, random words or puzzles, letters reinforce the vague, and activities with stickers attached.

Read out the names or description of the image is clear and bright. Do not forget to repeat, the names of these animals so that children imitate and remember participate. Give an example of how to paint or thick letters.

Learning activities and courses in the other image can stimulate the creativity of children, also can train motor, memory, patience, and perseverance children.

Child Personal Development Through Music .

2009-10-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

Exercise or music education in an Art Foundation at a young age will greatly assist the development of certain brain parts that are used to learn the language and reasoning power. Studies conducted recently have shown that musical training can develop left-brain skills in their daily tasks to process the information or the language into the brain and basically help the brain drain is certain circuits in the brain in certain ways. And making songs that are familiar at the time of capture new information tends to increase comprehension in children who are still young.

There is also a very close relationship between music and spatial reasoning power (spatial intelligence - the ability to capture specific information quickly and can create mental images of things seen). Intelligence like this, where one can visualize various elements at the same time very important function in many ways of completing complex mathematical tasks to the ability to remember what would be required to be included in a school bag on that day.

Students who study music either directly or from the Forum Music and dance tend to learn to think creatively and solve problems by imagining various alternative solutions, so they were rejected and the assumption that the provision applies.

Music and dance lessons to build skills that will be much needed by the child at the time of entering the working world. Music and dance lessons are focus and emphasis on the aspect of "action" rather than observation, and teaches how students can perform anywhere, anytime in the world. Companies are always looking for employees who multi-dimensional flexibility and intellectual outgoing as taught in the music and dance lessons as described above.

Music and ballet performances to teach young children to overcome fear and take risks in life. A little fear is a good thing because it will always appear in our lives. With control of these worries at a young age, will provide a great lunch for children, so do not be a barrier to the future and build a strong child characters and resilient. Risk taking is important in our life when the child wants to develop their maximum talents as a Personal Development.

The more children we have mastered the instrument he learned or our children more flexible and more familiar with the beautiful ballet movements, they will be more interested in the arts and this gives them an opportunity to demonstrate their skills on family members. The ability to play music and dance ballet will certainly open many valuable opportunities that can enrich their lives.

Easy Ways To Keep Homeschooling Records

2009-07-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

It is quite obvious when you have decided to homeschool your children, you simply focus on teaching your children the subjects needed for complying with the educational system. At this crucial stage, you forget to keep the records of your children’s progress. Having no records can create difficulties in evaluations and can lead the parents to believe that they have done little in a year when in fact, they have provided good and varied education to their children. Thus, it is important to keep homeschooling records of each day. Such records provide all information when your child is ready to attend a school or college later.

There are many alternatives available today to keep homeschooling records. It is essential to know the need of keeping such records. If it is for legal purpose, you need to know the kind of requirements you must meet in your country, state or province. Whether you simply need the attendance sheet or full accounting of activities should be ascertained. And if on a personal note, you might simply need to know where your family stands by checking in the records that you had maintained.

Check out to see whether your state has record keeping requirements. Keep a cumulative file or portfolio of your child who has just begun schooling. You can purchase a case of 1" binders from an office supply store. Keep plenty of loose-leaf and printer paper on hand. You can organize a notebook according to subject. You can put in the work of each child in their respective workbook, according to subject, with most recent work on top. A record of child’s progress in each subject is important and this can be achieved by preparing a progress or report card. You might need to keep a record of your child’s health and immunization details. Necessary forms are easily available with health departments. Attendance records which are generally required can be accomplished by keeping a calendar or planner of days your child attends school at home.

Computer or online planners are also available and can be easily downloaded. You can make use of them if you spend fair amount of time on computers. You can do a similar approach by saving work in a series of "folders" on the computer. At the end of the year, you can save all the work to a disk.

You can record field trips on scrapbook pages and add them to the notebook. You can even add photos of the trip to make it more appealing. Older children can keep their own records, if they are organized and self-motivated.

You can make use of index cards and keep them in a file box which is an easy and inexpensive method.

Curriculum Planning For Homeschool

2009-07-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest challenges for homeschooling parents is to decide upon the curriculum that suits their child needs. What might feel comfortable to one child may not be so for the other one. Homeschooling supplies have exploded with its increasing demand. The question is how to select the right one? In some cases, children do get bored with textbook based curriculums. What would be the right option for such children? The answers are discussed below.

It is believed and discovered by many families that the customized educational program is the best way the children get most benefited from. The parents try to merge several homeschool resources to develop a special program for each child. Although it is quite creative, but mingling too many resources to form one program can be quite confusing and frenzied.

There are preschool textbooks for homeschoolers who have not yet entered into the wonders of school and learning. Preschooling children have little minds and take homeschool as playtime with the preschool homeschooling textbooks. The love to work with these homeschooling textbooks as fun and adventure. The best homeschooling supplies for this age group of children would be songs, storybooks, games, fun tools etc. Check in with the curriculum what you need to teach your kids this week. The curriculum will also provide with ideas how to fill your days.

The elementary homeschool textbooks provide curriculum on elementary subjects like maths, science, history just like the curriculum in public schools. But in homeschools, you can give your child the freedom to concentrate on the subject he/she is interested in. Many times an entire elementary curriculum for homeschool follows a student throughout their entire elementary years. Keeping with one curriculum set will ensure your child has a consistent homeschool education. As long as your child continues to learn with a curriculum for homeschool, there will be no reason to look for new homeschooling supplies every year.

There are two different educational tracks for students entering a high school. One is the student entering a work force and other is joining a graduate college. In a high school homeschool, students are more open to their own education. Finding the right curriculum for homeschool, your high school student can be ahead of other students when it comes to college applications.

The significance of choosing the right curriculum for your home and your child is to do some mental homework. If you don’t understand what’s meant by learning styles, do some reading. Spend time thinking about how your child tackles their daily work. It might be possible that the resources you have chosen for your child’s learning might not interest them and can hinder in their process of learning. It is therefore essential to check the curriculum according to your child’s tastes.

How to Prevent Learning Loss in Children During Summer Months

2009-07-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

It is not uncommon for a child to know certain facts and then forget them when new facts are learned. This is especially common during the summer months, when children can spend less time studying or learning. Because there is that long time span of not going to class, sometimes children will lose some of the knowledge acquired during the school year. It is easy to forget something when it isn't practiced enough. To prevent learning loss in children during summer months, there are a variety of things parents can do.

Play Learning Games
Learning games are a great way to prevent learning loss in children during the summer months. These can be simple games that you make up and play with your child. You also can buy many learning games online and in educational stores. Many games that are just for fun can be turned into learning games with a simple variation. Be creative. This is a great way to keep a child's brain active, while allowing him or her to have fun as well. Even simple things like doing the dishes, playing ring toss, or buying groceries can be used as a fun lesson.

Read, Read, Read
Reading is an activity that many kids enjoy. It's also a required activity for progress in learning. Joining a summer reading program or visiting the library often can help prevent learning loss in children during summer months. Most libraries have summer reading programs. You also can get creative and let the kids invent their own. Either way, keep track of what is read over the summer and reward the child for a job well done. Summer reading programs may already offer rewards, but an award from parents can be very meaningful to a child. This is a great way to boost confidence.

Enroll the Child in a Summer Math Program
Summer tutoring online or summer math programs are an excellent way to prevent learning loss in children during the summer months. It may seem like this will be an interruption to a deserved break. But, summer learning programs can be very convenient and flexible. Children should have time to play during the summer, but their brains should also be kept active. Online summer learning programs are one way of doing so with flexibility. A good online summer math program will allow flexibility in time schedules, as well as a customized learning process that both you and your child will be comfortable with.

Take Educational Family Trips
Another way to prevent learning loss in children during summer months is to take educational family trips. Camping, going on a nature hike, or visiting a local zoo or museum are all considered educational family trips. They also can be very fun. Summer break is all about fun, but that doesn't mean that children can't exercise those brain muscles, and take the time to point out animals, plants, and exhibits. If there are information plaques or guides, read those with the child. Better yet, the child can read them to you.

8 PRINCIPLES OF EDUCATION PRESCHOOL

2009-04-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

1. The World is a children play
Marzollo, & Lloyd said every child born has a curiosity, imagination has a natural and creative, have the ability to learn, interact with people / objects in the environment. Education must be conducted in accordance with the age level of growth and development, so that children can develop properly. Patmonodewo 2001, in daily life activities play so easily observed, but in some situations be difficult to play with activities not play. Play a limitation as follows: Play is not working; play is ostensibly not something that seriously, not a productive activity and so forth, so the children can play that are formed so that the world is often considered to be real, genuine, productive and resembles the real life. Playing in the framework of school can be described as a continuum that culminate in the free play, play in the guidance and the play ends with the drive. According to Seto Rahmawati in 2001, the play of life is the life of children, and through play they imitate the activities of adults. Play is the beginning of the emergence of creativity. Thus, the atmosphere of play allows individuals to think and act imajinatifdan full power hayal. Thus creativity can be enhanced with the children develop a variety of activities and play atmosphere. Parents and teachers can play an active role to play through the atmosphere to create attitudes appreciate, to give freedom to the children.

2. Touches all aspects of development (Physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and language).

* Physical
Koralek 1995; Syah Armstrong in 1995 and holds the growth and development of the child touches all aspects of development. The development of physical activity is determined on a case involving the movement of the brain. In short can be physical as well understood in all circumstances involving the stimulus or activity of the physical organs.
• cognitive
Koralek et al 1995, Syah 1995 & 2002 Armstrong holds kongnitif comes from the word congnition Knowing that means knowing the pattern developing. And next term cognitive become popular as a world of psychology or human behavior that includes every mental-related understanding, consideration and processing of information problem-solving.
• emotional
Shapiro 2001, holds true in the emotional role in the start of rearing and educating children. That the skills of emotional EQ to make the same high-spirited children in learning to love in by friends in the arena and play help children to come forward.
• Social
Koralek Kartono et al 1995 & 1995, the child's ability to be able to socialize with people and objects in the environment. Child is a personal social relationship and that requires communication with other people to treat themselves, with that he can develop into adults.
• Languages
Koralek Semiawan et al 1995 & 2002, the language as a means to express themselves (the expression) is also capturing thoughts and feelings of others. Primarily speak a language development is also very influenced by the emotional life. The development of language related to the intellectual development of children.

3. Respect individual differences.

Kartono, held since 1995 children have been born characteristics and behavior, karekteristik the individual. The characteristics of the characters there is a birth that tends to remain very strong stand up to adults. Then the child will show the value and dignity of their own. We must acknowledge that the individual child is different, then this shows the individual differences in values and differences in children that is supported by differences in value systems lead to differences in child response of each child against the influence of the environment, business counseling and education.

4. Develop self (attitude / you / your child about your own).

According Savere 2000, Develop self to the child can be done in a way: Show the child that it is important to treat it with respect. Invite your children that you try to attempt it was very important for success, perseverance is useful. Invite your children to receive benefits as well as lack of. Invite your child to the frustration, chaos is part of life. Invite your children will love to support himself, became good friends for himself is important. Invite your child to appreciate the reasons for living, the reasons for the relationship.

5. Non-discriminatory (Race, religion, race, gender)

According Kartono 1995, in the first phase of the material and spiritual children have not been separated, meaning that children can not understand the difference / which is the union unanimously. Therefore penghayatan expressed freely, spontaneous and honest in every movement, behavior and language. According Patmonodewo 2001, through the observation of children playing on the women and men said that the way they play shows the difference. Some experts argued that the difference has been taken since birth (genetic factors). Meanwhile, other experts say that the difference is caused due to nurture a different way since the child was born. As a teacher in education is not recommended for pre distinguish facilities & activities play between boys and girls. Thus, each child will get the opportunity to develop a wide range of activities in and play skills.

6. Involving children growing environment (both parents, family, and society)

According to Brazelton 1992 & Patmonodewo 2000, parents (father-mother) is the person who first formed a relationship with the child, even as their parents have a different choice, namely the role of parents as teachers, volunteers, as decision makers and members of the team cooperation of teachers -parents. In the role allows parents to help improve the growth and development (emotional behavior), progress (interest & talent) of their children. Koralek dkk 2001 & Shapiro 2001, the growth and development supported by the family. The process in which the family use all their capabilities. Invites children to provide a precedent: a role in the family included in the problem-solving. Families should be fair, respect, honesty so that children can imitate. In the family must encourage the development of emotional & social skills for their success. Patmonodewo 2001, many different people around the children can be distinguished in age, sex, occupation, and education level. Child's environment better when people in the surrounding educated than the educated who do not.

7. Freely without coercion

Koralek Rahmawati et al 1995 & 2001, Children can do things without any pressure from parents and teachers. Children must be subject diangggap by family or by the education world. So that the child is able to express themselves, the content and make them believe in themselves, capable of pouring imagination. Dare to express himself with the child will be creative.
8. Secure and protect

According Koralek et al 1995, Children feel secure when children grow in the environment (parents, schools and communities) condescend. With in the environment that supports the development of the child so the child that has become a personal sense of self confidence, able to express themselves in a positive way, so that children feel free to develop interests, talents and creativity. Patmonodewo 2001, adding the school must also be available materials, space, a safe physical environment affects children, so it will feel free and not afraid to develop creativity.

PRESCHOOLS

2009-04-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

Have a mother, who has completed a master's degree, has come after the child psychologist for consultation.The result at the age of three years, the motor ability of children considered to be equivalent to a child who is less than two years.

"How might our children behind? How careless psychologists taking such a conclusion?" said a mother in the workroom. "Do not, do not, psychologists, students who used the nick in the Out-Droup with a mediocre GPA. Why should we believe?" said the mother shed a sense of sorts.

Couples that come to the trauma psychologist. Visits and consultations only take place once the course. The mother did not need to assume any therapy, because the only problem is that his son carried gingerly. Not a serious problem, so the mother thought.

Time running, The mother continues to wrestle with the rush and the children are grown under the care of baby sitters are always eager to explore channels for the tv channel. He grew up behind the walls of her house is always locked the meeting.

At the time of pre-school age children the school will be included in the Preschool. Then brought the child to see the school but the children reject it. Rejection is considered as reasonable. Moreover, the first father and the mother was also never kindergarten school.

Was time the children enter elementary school. Terms entrance to the school the child must be in its maturity test must be met so that the psychologist again. Test on the maturity of the child in the mother and father did not want the schools. From the results of the test revealed that the child can not receive incoming primary school. That the children are and can not socialize. The parents try membawannya to another school, but the results were no schools that would receive them. There are suggestions that his son disekolahkan in special schools. Finally, the new mother feel restless.

This is an irony. Someone who did not realize that the higher the education the child is not starting at the elementary school. And children's education is not the instant case. He just did not realize that before memeasuki formal education in schools, a child needs to prepare mentally and emotionally. Fall love, fall-care, soft soap, will be the basic element which is very important.

Home should be a place of education in pre hone emotional skills. However, the situation at home is often less feasible. Father and mother who is busy or less understand the concept of pre education, the less educated nanny, inadequate facilities, and lack of friends to mingle and socialize practice.

I hope this experience can be lessons for us all. At this time children can still be formed and adapted to the social atmosphere, where he is in the push and dibiasakan to think. At the time this is the intellectual child experiencing very rapid growth which will never experience again in the next.

5 CURRICULUM MONTESSORI SCHOOL PROGRAMS

2009-04-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

Approach Preschools Education: Montessori

The small sign in the pre. With so many options now pre period, does not wonder if you are confused choose the right school for the small. This is a reference program for Montessori schools.

Found by a child psychology expert, Maria Montessori in 1907, the school Montessori program emphasizes the importance of relationships and all things in life, and each person needs to find work and meaning in their own place in the world. In addition to learning reading, language, and mathematics, the children also learn other cultures matter, animal, animals, and plants.

Curriculum Montessori school programs focused on five things:

The practice of life. Children are taught various things in daily life that involves the skills and self-reliance, such as lace shoes, prepare their food stock, go to the toilet without assistance, and to clean themselves when they spill something.
Education sensori awareness. Here the children are trained to use a sensitive five senses they have.
Art-speaking. Children are encouraged to express themselves in verbal. Children also learn to read, spell, grammar, and writing ability.
Mathematics and geometry. Children are taught about the numbers, either by using the hands or with tools.
Culture. Education here include cultural geography, animals, time, history, music, movement, science, and art.

Here the children learn to do their tasks or jobs that fit with her interest. Options' work 'that they can select, including in such books, puzzles, art activities, play the test spatial relationships, and many more. They are given the freedom to do so together in groups, or work alone.

Interaction that occurs is more interaction between the children themselves. Not even closed the possibility of Montessori schools in the program are children who are older age, which helps children or young people, learn new abilities. That is in the range of each age class usually children reach 2 - 3 years. At the Montessori school, children will always be asked if they want to do something, if they need help, or if they do not feel ready.

Montessori school programs suitable for children who want to directly learn the environment that match their needs. Program Montessori schools encourage children to be more independent. Children with special needs is also suitable for Montessori schools, especially those who have problems with attention deficit disorder (ADD) or psychological problems or other learning. This is because each teacher holds each child individually.

PRESCHOOLER DEVELOPMENT

2009-01-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

PRESCHOOLERS
Three and four-year-old children are often called preschoolers. Preschool children are making developmental strides and express an interest in the world around them. They want to touch, taste, smell, hear, and test things for themselves. They are eager to learn. They learn by experiencing and by doing. Preschoolers learn from their play. They are busy developing skills, using language, and struggling to gain inner control.

Preschoolers want to establish themselves as separate from their parents. They are more independent than toddlers. They can express their needs since they have greater command of language.

Fears often develop during the preschool years. Common fears include new places and experiences and separation from parents and other important people. You can expect the preschool child to test you over and over again, to use profanity and other forbidden words, and to act very silly. Preschoolers may still have trouble getting along with other children, and sharing may still be difficult. Because of their developing imaginations and rich fantasy lives, they may have trouble telling fantasy from reality. They may also talk about imaginary friends. Preschoolers need clear and
simple rules so that they know the boundaries of acceptable behavior.

Understanding their growth and development will help you guide preschoolers through this stage. This fact sheet lists some of the characteristics of preschoolers. These characteristics are listed for three main areas: physical (body), social (getting along with others) and emotional (feelings), and intellectual (thinking and language) development. Remember that all preschoolers are different and reach the various stages at different times.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

THREE-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They walk on tip toes.
- They stand on one foot.
- They jump horizontally.
- They ride a tricycle.
- They build towers of 6-9 blocks.
- They catch a ball.
- They smear or daub paint. They draw or paint in vertical, horizontal, and circular motions.
- They can handle small objects (such as puzzles, pegboards, and parquetry sets).
- They grow about 3 inches taller in a year.

FOUR-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They have more small muscle control. They can make representational pictures (for example, pictures of houses, people, and flowers).
- They run on tip toes.
- They hop on one foot.
- They gallop.
- They begin to skip.
- They throw a ball overhand.
- They pump themselves on a swing.
- They like unzipping, unsnapping, and unbuttoning clothes.
- They dress themselves.
- They can cut on a line with scissors.
- They like lacing their own shoes (but not tying).
- They can make designs and write crude letters.
- They are very active and aggressive in their play.

SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

THREE-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They enjoy dramatic play with other children.
- They begin to learn to share.
- They need to know clear and consistent rules and what the consequences for breaking them are.
- Their emotions are usually extreme and short-lived. They need to be encouraged to express their feelings with words.

FOUR-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They have very active imaginations.
- They sometimes have imaginary friends.
- They can be aggressive but want friends and enjoy being with other children.
- They tend to brag and be bossy.
- They are learning to take turns and to share. Games and other activities can help preschoolers learn about taking turns.
- They enjoy pretending to be important adults (mother, father, doctor, nurse, police officer, mail carrier, etc.).
- They need to feel important and worthwhile.
- They need opportunities to feel more freedom and independence.
- They appreciate praise for their achievements.

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT

THREE-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They can communicate their needs, ideas, and questions.
- Their attention span is a little longer so they can participate in group activities.
- Preschool children learn best by doing. They need a variety of activities. They need indoor and outdoor space. They need a balance between active and quiet play.

FOUR-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- They are very talkative.
- They enjoy serious discussions.
- They ask lots of questions, including "how" and "why" questions.
- Their language includes silly words and profanity.
- Their classification skills and reasoning ability are developing.
- They should understand some basic concepts such as number, size, weight, color, texture, distance, time, and position.

ACTIVITIES TO TRY

THREE-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- Preschoolers need time to climb, jump, and ride tricycles.
- Let them play with blocks of different sizes and shapes.
- Have them play with toys that have small parts (such as pegboards and puzzles).
- Teach them to dress and undress themselves.
- Have them help with household chores such as setting and clearing the table and watering plants.
- Provide housekeeping toys.
- Encourage them to count household objects as you perform household tasks (for example, count the spoons, cups, etc. as you set the table).
- Read stories to them.
- Sing songs and have them make up their own songs.
- Encourage them to dance and move to music.
- Answer their "how" and "why" questions honestly. Look for answers to preschoolers' questions in reference books with them.
- Provide paint, crayons, chalk, colored pens, collage materials, and play dough for preschoolers to use.

FOUR-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN

- Take preschoolers outside to play.
- Let them test their sense of balance by walking on a straight line, a curved line, and a low balance beam.
- Provide activities in which preschoolers sort objects (such as buttons or seeds) according to their characteristics.
- Ask them to make up stories or make up the ending for a story.
- Help them mix paint to make new colors.
- Visit places in the community that are of interest to them (for example, the fire station or the library during a story or music hour).
- Help them set up play stores, farms, or villages.
- Help them plant seeds and take care of them.
- Provide a box of dress-up clothes for a play corner. (See how the children play with these clothes. They may imitate people they know. You can learn a lot about children by watching them play.)
- Make paper bag puppets. Then have a puppet show with the children. Children often express their feelings through this type of play.
- Play simple board games with them.

(Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child Care - NNCC.
Malley, C. (1991). *Preschooler development*. (Family Day Care Facts
series). Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts).

PRESCHOOL: Academics or Play?

2009-01-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Discussions about academics in early childhood programs often oversimplify the debate as a choice between academics or play in preschool and kindergarten.

In truth, all high-quality early childhood programs are academic, but in a professional and appropriate way. Research shows that young children learn best through manipulation of materials and hands-on experiences, planned by knowledgeable teachers. To parents, this learning may look like play, but it is play with purpose.

A good teacher creates a learning environment. She organizes materials so that children use them to figure things out, practice skills, and learn new concepts. Children get time to explore those materials, so that through repetition and success they develop the confidence to try more complex activities. Most important, the teacher is always ready to teach.

Much of the misunderstanding in this debate between play and academics stems from the definition of 'teaching' for young children. Many people see a teacher only as an instructor, imparting concepts and skills to patiently listening young children.

Good preschools and kindergartens know that three-, four- and five-year-olds are wigglers and doers. To help children stay with tasks and learn important concepts and skills, teachers work with, instead of against, their individual developmental styles. A good teacher watches as a child explores materials. He asks open-ended questions that stimulate the child's thinking: "What do you think would happen if you tried...?" She helps develop vocabulary by describing what the child in doing: "I see you used lots of colors - red, green, blue and brown."

To nurture reading and writing skills, teachers read many stories each day with children. Through these stories, children learn many of the conventions of written language, use picture clues, and play with the sounds of language. Teachers help children learn to recognize their own names and encourage them to write their names and other words. Teachers embed literacy activities in meaningful experiences: writing letters to friends, reading the classroom helper chart, and labeling the classroom.

Good preschools and kindergartens also implant math and science in children's activities. Counting and one-to-one correspondence are learned in daily routines of attendance and setting the table for snacks. Geometry is explored in block building. Vocabulary and concepts of measurement are taught at the sand and water table. Scientific observation is developed through projects about weather, seasonal changes, and plant and animal life.

In high-quality preschools and kindergartens, academic learning is playful and exploratory. Children contribute their own ideas, use their own problem-solving strategies, and pursue their own interests. Teachers skillfully weave in academic goals and objectives as they build on what children can do, and challenge them to try new things. Children are not left to their own devices, nor is their development left to chance.

Quality teachers know that high standards are important, but they also know the nature of learning at this age, and how academics are most effectively and appropriately incorporated into preschool and kindergarten. Using play to build success does not mean the curriculum is not academic. It means it is what's best for three-, four- and five-year-old children.

(Excerpted from "Rigorous Academics in Preschool and Kindergarten?" by Gaye Gronlund - an article in the NAEYC journal, Young Children)

UNDERSTANDING PRESCHOOL CHILD DEVELOPMENT

2009-01-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

What is a preschooler?

Depending on how you look at him or her a preschooler can be defined or understood in many different ways. Here are some ways to help you relate to and improve your relationship with your preschool age child.

Physical Development:

The preschool child is a whirlwind of activity. They are active explorers of the world around them. In addition, they are more confident about using their bodies. They run smoothly, at moderate speeds, jump, climb and perform other "gross motor" activities fairly well.

"Fine motor" skills, i.e., using scissors, drawing, painting, and pasting are coming along but have not yet reached the level of skill of an older 5 to 7 year old child.

Cognitive Development:

Preschoolers can be described, in terms of their cognition, as "little explorer's." They are seeking to understand how the world operates and functions. They role-play mom and dad to determine gender differences and they take things apart to see how things work.

Preschoolers can remember events from day to day; they can take what they have learned from yesterday and begin to see how it applies to today and even anticipate tomorrow. They still cannot separate fantasy from reality and still live in a fairy tale, pre-operational world. Attention span is approximately 8 to 15 minutes on a good day.

Social Development:

Preschool age children are beginning to learn how to interact with their peers. At 3 and 4 years of age they engage in parallel play. Parallel play consists of children, in a group, playing with the same toys, but not with each other. They play "side-by-side" versus cooperatively together.

At 5 and 6 years of age children begin to play cooperative, e.g., throwing a ball to each other and rolling cars back and forth. At this age gender identity is also forming and children become curious about sexual differences. As friendships develop they become concerned with having "best" friends. Expressive arts, that develop gross and fine motor skills, are beneficial.

Emotional/Self Development:

At this age, preschoolers will be "like" all kinds of people from mom and dad, to the garbage man, to the policeman. The purpose behind this type of play is to understand the role of adults in their life.

Preschoolers want to please adults. They need frequent approval and reassurance from primary caregivers. They like to be observed when playing and wants parent's full attention. They may become fearful when separated from parents or caregivers but are generally easily consoled and adjust to new environments within a few minutes.

Language Development:

Language development is tied into cognitive development but is such a major part of the preschool age child, that it is addressed as a separate category.

Developmentally, three-year-old children can use complete sentences and is constantly asking questions. They can speak about 900 words and can communicate their basic needs, such as "I'm hungry" or "My foot hurts."

Four-year-old children can use complete and compound sentences. They will speak approximately 1,500 words. They like to sing, tell tall tales, brag, and will often exaggerate and call other children names.

Five-year-old children speak over 2,000 words and love to tell and listen to stories. They can focus for longer periods of time and often asks thoughtful questions.

In addition, 3-5 year old children can only understand simple, clear commands and have difficulty following multi-step directives, such as: "Clean your room."

CHILDREN'S OUTDOOR PLAY & LEARNING ENVIRONMENTS: Returning to Natur

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It is unfortunate that children can't design their outdoor play environments. Research on children's preferences shows that if children had the design skills to do so, their creations would be completely different from the areas called playgrounds that most adults design for them. Outdoor spaces designed by children would not only be fully naturalized with plants, trees, flowers, water, dirt, sand, mud, animals and insects, but also would be rich with a wide variety of play opportunities of every imaginable type. If children could design their outdoor play spaces, they would be rich developmentally appropriate learning environments where children would want to stay all day.

Playground Paradigm Paralysis

We are all creatures of our experience, and our common experiences usually shape the conventional wisdom, or paradigms, by which we operate. When most adults were children, playgrounds were asphalt areas with gross motor play equipment such as swings, jungle gyms and slides where they went for recess. Most adults see this as their model for a children's playground.

So when it comes time to plan and design a playground, the paradigm is to search through the catalogues of playground equipment, pick a piece or two that looks good to the adult and place it in an outdoor space which resembles their childhood memories of playgrounds. This is easy and doesn't take a whole lot of effort. Then once or twice a day, teachers let children go outside for a recess from their classroom activities to play on the equipment.

Today, fortunately, most playground equipment is becoming much safer than when adults grew up. National standards encourage the installation of safety fall surfaces and ADA is making the equipment more accessible. However, limiting outdoor playgrounds to gross motor activities and manufactured equipment falls way short of the potential of outdoor areas to be rich play and learning environments for children. This playground design paradigm paralysis also denies children their birthright to experience the entire natural outdoors which includes vegetation, animals, insects water and sand, not just the sun and air that manufactured playgrounds offer.

It is a well accepted principal in early childhood education that children learn best through free play and discovery. Children's free play is a complex concept that eludes precise definition, but children's play typically is pleasurable, self-motivated, imaginative, non-goal directed, spontaneous, active, and free of adult-imposed rules1. Quality play involves the whole child: gross motor, fine motor, senses, emotion, intellect, individual growth and social interaction.

Childhood of Imprisonment

The world once offered thousands of delights of free play to children. Children used to have access to the world at large, whether it was the sidewalks, streets, alleys, vacant lots and parks of the inner city or the fields, forests, streams and yards of suburbia and the rural countryside. Children could play, explore and interact with the natural world with little or no restriction or supervision.

The lives of children today are much more structured and supervised, with few opportunities for free play. Their physical boundaries have shrunk. A number of factors have led to this. Parents are afraid for their children's safety when they leave the house alone; many children are no longer free to roam their neighborhoods or even their own yards unless accompanied by adults. Some working families can't supervise their children after school, giving rise to latchkey children who stay indoors or attend supervised after-school activities. Furthermore, children's lives have become structured and scheduled by adults, who hold the mistaken belief that this sport or that lesson will make their children more successful as adults.

Children have little time for free play any more. And when children do have free time, it's often spent inside in front of the television or computers. For some children, that's because their neighborhood, apartment complex or house has no outdoor play spaces. With budgets for city and state governments slashed, public parks and outdoor playgrounds have deteriorated and been abandoned. Children's opportunities to interact in a naturalized outdoor setting is greatly diminished today.

Childhood and outdoor play are no longer synonymous. Today, many children live what one play authority has referred to as a childhood of imprisonment. Child care facility playgrounds are often the only outdoor activities that many young children experience anymore.

Our company first became interested in the opportunities that outdoor play offers children's development when, in 1993, we conducted extensive focus group research with children and parents for a children's center we were designing. We were fascinated when the research consistently showed that children had a strong preference to play outdoors in natural landscapes, and that parents generally supported this kind of play.

Biophilia: The Love of Outdoors

Two new disciplines, eco-psychology6 and evolutionary psychology, are now suggesting that humans are genetically programmed by evolution with an affinity for the natural outdoors. Evolutionary psychologists use the term biophilia to refer to this innate, hereditary emotional attraction of humans to nature and other living organisms. Biophilia is the biologically based human need to affiliate with nature and the genetic basis for human's positive responses to nature. Why? Researchers say that for more than 99 percent of human history, people lived in hunter-gatherer bands totally and intimately involved in nature. So in relative terms, urban societies have existed for scarcely more than a blink of time. Our original nature-based evolutionary genetic coding and instincts are still an essential part of us and continue to shape our behavior and responses to nature.

Well over 100 studies of outdoor experiences in the wilderness and natural areas show that natural outdoor environments produce positive physiological and psychological responses in humans, including reduced stress and a general feeling of well-being. It is also a clear-cut finding that people, and especially young children who have not yet adapted to the man-made world, consistently prefer the natural landscape to built environments. Children's instinctive feelings of continuity with nature are demonstrated by the attraction children have for fairy tales set in nature and populated with animal characters. Additional anecdotal evidence is that more children and adults visit zoos and aquariums than attend all major professional sports combined.

Biophobia: The Aversion to Nature

However, if this human natural attraction to nature is not given opportunities to be exercised and flourish during the early years of life, the opposite, biophobia, an aversion to nature, may develop. Biophobia ranges from discomfort in natural places to active scorn for whatever is not man-made, managed or air conditioned. Biophobia is also manifest in the tendency to regard nature as nothing more than a disposable resource.

Environmental Education

Environmental education needs to start at any early age with hands-on experience with nature. There is considerable evidence that concern for the environment is based on an affection for nature that only develops with autonomous, unmediated contact with it. In their early years, children's developmental tendency towards empathy with the natural world needs to be supported with free access to an area of limited size over an extended period of time. It is only by intimately knowing the wonder of nature's complexity in a particular place that leads to a full appreciation of the immense beauty of the planet as a whole. In todays society, environmental education requires that in schools, children have regular personal interaction with as diverse a natural setting as possible.

The Importance of Nature to Children

Studies have provided convincing evidence that the way people feel in pleasing natural environments improves recall of information, creative problem solving, and creativity. Early experiences with the natural world have been positively linked with the development of imagination and the sense of wonder. Wonder is important as it a motivator for life long learning. There is also strong evidence that young children respond more positively to experiences in the outdoors than adults as they have not yet adapted to unnatural, man-made, indoor environments.

The natural world is essential to the emotional health of children. Just as children need positive adult contact and a sense of connection to the wider human community, they also need positive contact with nature and the chance for solitude and the sense of wonder that nature offers. When children play in nature they are more likely to have positive feelings about each other and their surroundings.

Outdoor environments are also important to children's development of independence and autonomy. Outdoor space allows children to gradually experiment with increasing distance from their caretaker. While the development of greater independence from toddlerhood to middle childhood can happen within the confines of indoor spaces, safe space outdoors greatly adds to the ability of children to naturally experiment with independence and separation, and the adult's willingness to trust the child's competence which is essential for separation to happen. This is particularly important for children who live in small and crowded homes.

Children's Experience with the Natural World

Children's outdoor play is different from time spent indoors. The sensory experiences are different, and different standards of play apply. Activities which may be frowned on indoors can be safely tolerated outdoors. Children have greater freedom not only to run and shout, but also to interact with and manipulate the environment. Children are free to do 'messy' activities outdoors that won't be tolerated indoors.

Natural outdoor environments have three qualities that are unique and appealing to children as play environments - their unending diversity; the fact that they are not created by adults; and their feeling of timelessness - the landscapes, trees, rivers described in fairy tales and myths still exist today.

Children experience the natural environment differently than adults. Adults typically see nature as background for what they are doing. Children experience nature, not as background for events, but rather as a stimulator and experiential component of their activities. The world of nature is not a scene or even a landscape. Nature for the child is sheer sensory experience. Children judge the natural setting not by its aesthetics, but rather by how they can interact with the environment.

Children have a unique, direct and experiential way of knowing the natural world as a place of beauty, mystery and wonder. Children's special affinity for the natural environment is connected to the child's development and his or her way of knowing.

Plants, together with soil, sand, and water, provide settings that can be manipulated. You can build a trench in the sand and dirt or a rock dam over a stream, but there's not much you can do to a jungle gym except climb, hang, or fall off. Natural elements provide for open-ended play that emphasize unstructured creative exploration with diverse materials. The high levels of complexity and variety nature offers invites longer and more complex play. Because of their interactive properties, plants stimulate discovery, dramatic pretend play, and imagination. Plants speak to all of the senses, so it's not surprising that children are closely attuned to environments with vegetation. Plants, in a pleasant environment with a mix of sun, shade, color, texture, fragrance, and softness of enclosure also encourage a sense of peacefulness. Natural settings offer qualities of openness, diversity, manipulation, exploration, anonymity and wildness.

All the manufactured equipment and all the indoor instructional materials produced by the best educators in the world cannot substitute for the primary experience of hands-on engagement with nature. They cannot replace the sensory moment where a child's attention is captured by the phenomena and materials of nature: the dappled sparkle of sunlight through leaves, the sound and motion of plants in the wind, the sight of butterflies or a colony of ants, the imaginative worlds of a square yard of dirt or sand, the endless sensory experience of water, the infinite space in an iris flower.

Designing Outdoor Spaces for Children

The goal of designing children's outdoor environments is to use the landscape and vegetation as the play setting and nature as much as possible as the play materials. The natural environment needs to read as a children's place; as a world separate from adults that responds to a child's own sense of place and time.

Our company calls well designed outdoor children's play spaces discovery play gardens to differential them from the current design paradigm for children's playgrounds. Some authorities call them naturalized outdoor classrooms or naturalized playgrounds.

There is a sense of wildness about an discovery play garden. Conventional play design focuses on manufactured and tightly designed play equipment. Conversely in a discovery play garden, although there may be some conventional play equipment, many of the spaces are informal and naturalistic so they will stimulate high quality free play and discovery learning.

Children's idea of beauty is wild rather than ordered. A discovery play garden that plans for wildness, and provides openness, diversity, and opportunities for manipulation, exploration and experimentation, allows children to become totally immersed in play. Children's discovery play gardens are very different than landscaped areas designed for adults, who prefer manicured lawns and tidy, neat, orderly uncluttered landscapes. Discovery play gardens are much looser in design because children value unmanicured places and the adventure and mystery of hiding places and wild, spacious, uneven areas broken by clusters of plants.

Physical attractiveness and innovativeness are not what is important for quality outdoor play space design. Children need tools, open space, challenge and opportunities to control and manipulate the environment. Suransky calls this "history making power" - the power for the child to imprint themselves upon the landscape, endow the landscape with significance and experience their own actions as transforming the environment.

Outdoor play requires a lot of gear to make a go of it. Loose parts, sand, water, manipulatives, props and naturally found objects are essential tools for children's play. Loose parts have infinite play possibilities, and their total lack of structure and script allows children to make of them whatever their imaginations desire. Simon Nicholson first offered the theory of loose parts in children's play when he wrote in 1971, "In any environment, both the degree of inventiveness and creativity and the possibilities of discovery are directly proportional to the number and kind of variables in it."

Yhrough children's handling, manipulation and physical interaction with materials and the natural environment, they learn the rules and principles that make the world operate.

Outdoor play areas should flow from one area to the next, be as open-ended and simple as possible, encourage children to use their imaginations, have continuity and be perceived by the children as children's, not adult, spaces. They should be designed to stimulate children's senses and to nurture the child's curiosity, allow for interaction with other children, with adults and with the resources in the play space.

It is also desirable to integrate the outdoors with the indoor classroom with one sense of place and identity, so the transition between the two will be almost seamless. Design that allows children to go freely back and forth between inside and outside encourages children to experiment with autonomy from adults, both physically and symbolically. It also allows the outdoor space to become part of the classroom, rather than just a retreat from it.

Things children like in their outdoor environments include:

* water
* vegetation, including trees, bushes, flowers and long grasses,
* animals, creatures in ponds, and other living things
* sand, best if it can be mixed with water
* natural color, diversity and change
* places and features to sit in, on, under, lean against, and provide shelter
and shade
* different levels and nooks and crannies, places that offer privacy and views
* structures, equipment and materials that can be changed, actually or in their imaginations, including plentiful loose parts.

The structures and equipment do not all need to be manufactured. As much as possible, they should be made of natural materials such as logs, stumps and boulders and use the landscape in natural ways with berms and mounds.

Outdoor areas lend themselves to meeting children's individual needs. Natural environments allow for investigation and discovery by children with different learning styles.41 Using universal design principals, play areas and events can be designed as accessible to children with special needs without accessibility features being obvious.

Plants are vital. In fact, the identity of many of the play areas can be created through ecological theming with vegetation. For example, an interactive water play can be set in a bog or stream habitat. It is also important to incorporate ecological areas that utilize indigenous vegetation and settings so children can experience, learn about and develop an appreciation of their local environment.

Naturalized outdoor play spaces are rich learning environments for all age children. They contain a hidden curriculum that speaks to children through their special way of knowing nature. Every learning center and activity that can be created in the indoor classroom can be created in the outdoors. Specialized areas can even be designed to meet the developmental needs of infants and toddlers.

Cost

Discovery play gardens do not cost more to build than conventional playgrounds. Rather than spend most of the budget on conventional manufactured playground equipment, moneys are shifted to landscaping and creating play areas using natural materials. Discovery play gardens do, however, require specialized design skills to create a holistic and integrated child's world. To accomplish this, a much higher percentage of the budget must be allocated for professional design services than with a dominantly equipment-based playground.

Participatory Design

Participatory design - having children, teachers, parents and maintenance staff participate in the design process - is essential to the success of any discovery play garden. Children's input assures that they will feel it is a special place for them. Teachers input is needed so they will take ownership of the discovery play garden as an outdoor classroom and utilize it to support their curriculum goals. Parents need to be involved so they will be supportive of the concept and learn how the naturalized space and often messy play greatly supports their children's development. Maintenance staff need to participate to assure that they will support the space and provide the maintenance required. User participation in the design process also helps to assure that the design will be culturally respectful.

Discovery play gardens offer children chances to manipulate the environment and explore, to wonder and experiment, to pretend, to understand themselves, and to interact with nature, animals and interesting insects and with other children. They are environments that encourage children's rich and complex play and greatly expand the learning opportunities of just conventional playgrounds. Children's discovery play gardens are places where children can reclaim the magic that is their birthright - the ability to learn in a natural environment through exploration, discovery and the power of their own imaginations.

(An edited version of this article was published in the March/April 1998 issue of Early Childhood News magazine)

MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES : Understanding Your Child's Learning Style

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A Fairy Princess. A Race-car Driver. A Mommy. A Firefighter. A Ballerina. An Astronaut. These are just some of the answers you may get when you ask your child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” You may think they are sweet to share with your family and friends, but your child’s response could be telling you something important about the way he or she learns and what type of ‘Multiple Intelligences’ he or she has.

So what are Multiple Intelligences anyway? Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University, developed the theory of Multiple Intelligences in 1983 to help educators, psychologists and parenting experts better understand how children process and learn information.

Not only has the theory become a respected way of looking at learning, it has helped validate other experts’ work. Dr. Joseph Renzulli, professor and director of the National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented at the University of Connecticut, says he started his work with intelligence years before Gardner’s theory. But it was Gardner who brought widespread acceptance to the idea. That helped bring attention to The Renzulli Learning System, which utilizes the Intelligences. A great admirer of Gardner, Dr. Renzulli says, “The most important thing The Multiple Intelligences theory has done is called attention to the ways children express themselves.”

What Intelligences does your child possess? The following are descriptions of Gardner’s nine Multiple Intelligences, along with tips on how you can help your child stretch his or her areas of strength:

• Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart). This child focuses in school, enjoys reading, has an extensive vocabulary, prefers English or Social Studies over math and science, learns a foreign language with ease, is a good speller and writer, likes rhymes and puns, and communicates his thoughts well.

Tip: Encourage him to discuss books he has read with you, play word or board games, prepare speeches or enroll in drama classes. Possible career paths: poet, journalist, teacher, or lawyer

• Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart). This child is curious about how things work, loves numbers and math (especially if he can do it in his head), enjoys strategy games like chess, checkers, brain teasers or logic puzzles, likes experiments, is interested in natural history museums, and likes computers.

Tip: Encourage her to solve various kinds of puzzles, provide her with games like checkers, chess or backgammon, let her figure things out and encourage her to ask questions. Possible career paths: scientist, engineer, researcher, or accountant.

• Spatial Intelligence (Picture Smart). This child easily leans to read and understands charts and maps, daydreams often, is skilled at drawing, doodling and creating 3-D sculptures, enjoys movies, and likes taking things apart and putting them back together.

Tip: Provide opportunities to paint, color, design. Give him puzzles and 3-D activities like solving mazes, challenge his creativity, and encourage him to design buildings or clothing. Possible career paths: sculptor, mechanic, architect, or interior designer.

• Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (Body Smart). This child excels in more than one sport, taps or moves when required to sit still, can mimic other’s body movements/gestures, likes to touch objects, enjoys physical activities and has excellent fine-motor coordination.

Tip: Encourage participation in school and extracurricular sports/teams. Provide blocks. Encourage fine-motor ability (teach her to build paper airplanes, create origami, or try knitting). Enroll her in dance class. Possible career paths: dancer, firefighter, surgeon, actor, or athlete.

• Musical Intelligence (Music Smart). This child can tell you when music is off-key and easily remember melodies. He has a pleasant singing voice, shows aptitude with musical instruments, speaks or moves in a rhythmical way, hums or whistles to himself, and may show sensitivity to surrounding noises.

Tip: Encourage him to play an instrument, write songs, join school bands or choirs, or study folk dancing from other countries. Possible career paths: musician, singer, or composer.

• Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart). This child enjoys socializing with friends, is a natural leader, is caring, helps friends solve problems, is street-smart and understands feelings from facial expressions, gestures and voice.

Tip: Encourage collaborative activities with friends inside and outside of school, expose her to multi-cultural books and experiences, encourage dramatic activities and role playing, help her learn to negotiate and share. Possible career paths: counselor, therapist, politician, salesman, or teacher.

• Intrapersonal Intelligence (Self-Smart). This child shows a sense of independence, knows his abilities and weaknesses, and does well when left alone to play or study. He has a hobby or interest he doesn’t talk about much, is self-directed, has high self-esteem, and learns from failures and successes.

Tip: Help him set goals and realize the steps to get there, encourage independent projects and journal writing, help him find quiet places for reflection and appreciate his differences. Possible career paths: philosopher, professor, teacher, or researcher.

• Naturalist Intelligence (Nature Smart). This child talks about favorite pets or outdoor spots, enjoys nature preserves and the zoo, and has a strong connection to the outside world. She likes to play outdoors, collects bugs, flowers and leaves, and is interested in biology, astronomy, meteorology or zoology.

Tip: Take her to science museums, exhibits and zoos. Encourage her to create observation notebooks, ant farms, bug homes, and leaf collections. Involve her in the care of pets, wildlife, and gardens. Make binoculars and telescopes available to her. Possible career paths: animal activist, biologist, astronomer, or veterinarian.

• Existential Intelligence (Philosophically Smart). This child enjoys thinking and questions the way things are. He shows curiosity about life and death and shows a philosophical awareness and interest that seems beyond his years. He asks questions like, ‘Are we alone in the universe?’

Tip: Be patient with his questioning, as he may ask over and over again. Read books together that explore these topics and talk about them at an age-appropriate level. Possible career paths: philosopher, clergy, scientist, or writer.

Don’t worry if it looks like your child is only strong in 3-4 areas. That’s the way it should be. While children have the potential to be intelligent in all areas, they will most likely show dominance in some and weakness in others. Dr. Renzulli advises, “When we find our child’s preferred learning style, we should capitalize on it and give them many opportunities to express that in their work. But it is equally important to give them exposure to various kinds of styles.” In other words, your child may not realize what his preferred learning style is until he is exposed to it.

Perhaps your child will never attain Princess status, but she may write a novel about the royal life. And maybe your son won’t set foot on Mars, but rather, design the next generation of rockets. Whatever Intelligences your children have, be sure to watch for the cues along the way and encourage them to be whatever they want to be. In the meantime, let your kid have fun dreaming about the Indy 500, even if it gives you a few gray hairs in the process.

HELPING YOUR CHILD SUCCEED IN SCHOOL

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If you think about it, although school is very important, it does not really take up very much of a child's time. In the United States, the school year averages 180 days; in other nations, the school year can last up to 240 days and students are often in school more hours per day than American students. Clearly, the hours and days that a child is not in school are important for learning, too. Here are some things that you can do to help your child to make the most of that time:
Childlike drawing of a child and a mother in a livingroom setting pointing at a bookcase.

Encourage Your Child to Read

Helping your child become a reader is the single most important thing that you can do to help the child to succeed in school—and in life. The importance of reading simply can't be overstated. Reading helps children in all school subjects. More important, it is the key to lifelong learning. Here are some tips on how to help your child become a reader.

* Start early. When your child is still a baby, reading aloud to him should become part of your daily routine. At first, read for no more than a few minutes at a time, several times a day. As your child grows older, you should be able to tell if he wants you to read for longer periods. As you read, talk with your child. Encourage him to ask questions and to talk about the story. Ask him to predict what will come next. When your child begins to read, ask him to read to you from books or magazines that he enjoys.

* Make sure that your home has lots of reading materials that are appropriate for your child. Keep books, magazines and newspapers in the house. Reading materials don't have to be new or expensive. You often can find good books and magazines for your child at yard or library sales. Ask family members and friends to consider giving your child books and magazine subscriptions as gifts for birthdays or other special occasions. Set aside quiet time for family reading. Some families even enjoy reading aloud to each other, with each family member choosing a book, story, poem or article to read to the others.

* Show that you value reading. Let your child see you reading for pleasure as well as for performing your routine activities as an adult—reading letters and recipes, directions and instructions, newspapers, computer screens and so forth. Go with her to the library and check out books for yourself. When your child sees that reading is important to you, she is likely to decide that it's important to her, too.

If you feel uncomfortable with your own reading ability or if you would like reading help for yourself or other family members, check with your local librarian or with your child's school about literacy programs in your community.

* Get help for your child if he has a reading problem. When a child is having reading difficulties, the reason might be simple to understand and deal with. For example, your child might have trouble seeing and need glasses or he may just need more help with reading skills. If you think that your child needs extra help, ask his teachers about special services, such as after—school or summer reading programs. Also ask teachers or your local librarian for names of community organizations and local literacy volunteer groups that offer tutoring services.

The good news is that no matter how long it takes, most children can learn to read. Parents, teachers and other professionals can work together to determine if a child has a learning disability or other problem and then provide the right help as soon as possible. When a child gets such help, chances are very good that she will develop the skills she needs to succeed in school and in life. Nothing is more important than your support for your child as she goes through school. Make sure she gets any extra help she needs as soon as possible and always encourage her and praise her efforts.

Talk with Your Child

Talking and listening play major roles in children's school success. It's through hearing parents and family members talk and through responding to that talk that young children begin to pick up the language skills they will need if they are to do well. For example, children who don't hear a lot of talk and who aren't encouraged to talk themselves often have problems learning to read, which can lead to other school problems. In addition, children who haven't learned to listen carefully often have trouble following directions and paying attention in class.

Think of talking with your child as being like a tennis game with words—instead of a ball—bouncing back and forth. Find time to talk any place, for example:

* As you walk with your child or ride with her in a car or on a bus, talk with her about what she's doing at school Ask her to tell you about a school assembly or a field trip. Point out and talk about things that you see as you walk—funny signs, new cars, interesting people.

* As you shop in a store, talk with your child about prices, differences in brands and how to pick out good vegetables and fruit. Give your child directions about where to find certain items, then have him go get them.

* As you fix dinner, ask your child to help you follow the steps in a recipe. Talk with him about what can happen if you miss a step or leave out an ingredient.

* As you fix a sink or repair a broken table, ask your child to hand you the tools that you name. Talk with her about each step you take to complete the repair. Tell her what you're doing and why you're doing it. Ask her for suggestions about how you should do something.

* As you watch TV together, talk with your child about the programs. If you're watching one of her favorite programs, encourage her to tell you about the background of the characters, which ones she likes and dislikes and who the actors are. Compare the program to a program that you liked when you were her age.

* As you read a book with your child, pause occasionally to talk to him about what's happening in the book. Help him to relate the events in the book to events in his life: "Look at that tall building! Didn't we see that when we were in Chicago?" Ask him to tell in his own words what the book was about. Ask him about new words in a book and help him to figure out what they mean.

It's also important for you to show your child that you're interested in what he has to say. Demonstrate for him how to be a good listener:

* When your child talks to you, stop what you're doing and pay attention. Look at him and ask questions to let him know that you've heard what he said: "So when are you going to help your granddad work on his car?"

* When your child tells you about something, occasionally repeat what he says to let him know that you're listening closely: "The school bus broke down twice!"

Monitor Homework

Let your child know that you think education is important and so homework has to be done. Here are some ways to help your child with homework:

* Have a special place for your child to study. The homework area doesn't have to be fancy. A desk in the bedroom is nice, but for many children, the kitchen table or a corner of the living room works just fine. The area should have good lighting and it should be fairly quiet. Provide supplies and identify resources. For starters, have available pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper and a dictionary. Other supplies that might be helpful include a stapler, paper clips, maps, a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, glue, paste, scissors, a ruler, a calculator, index cards, a thesaurus and an almanac. If possible, keep these items together in one place. If you can't provide your child with needed supplies, check with her teacher, school counselor or principal about possible sources of assistance.

* Set a regular time for homework. Having a regular time to do homework helps children to finish assignments. Of course, a good schedule depends in part on your child's age, as well as her specific needs. You'll need to work with a young child to develop a schedule. You should give your older child the responsibility for making up a schedule independently—although you'll want to make sure that it's a workable one. You may find it helpful to have her write out her schedule and put it in a place where you'll see it often, such as on the refrigerator.

* Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and discourage your child from making and receiving social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to a classmate about an assignment, however, may be helpful.) If you live in a small or noisy household, try having all family members take part in a quiet activity during homework time. You may need to take a noisy toddler outside or into another room to play. If distractions can't be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the local library.

* Don't expect or demand perfection. When your child asks you to look at what she's done—from skating a figure 8 to finishing a math assignment—show interest and praise her when she's done something well. If you have criticisms or suggestions, make them in a helpful way.

One final note: You may be reluctant to help your child with homework because you feel that you don't know the subject well enough or because you don't speak or read English as well as your child. But helping with homework doesn't mean doing the homework. It isn't about solving the problems for your child, it's about supporting him to do his best. You may not know enough about a subject such as calculus to help your child with a specific assignment, but you can help nonetheless by showing that you are interested, helping him get organized, providing a place the materials he needs to work, monitoring his work to see that he completes it and praising his efforts.

If distractions can't be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the local library.

Monitor TV Viewing and Video Game Playing

American children on average spend far more time watching TV or playing video games than they do completing homework or other school-related activities. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to use TV and video games wisely:

* Limit the time that you let your child watch TV. Too much television cuts into important activities in a child's life, such as reading, playing with friends and talking with family members.

* Model good TV viewing habits. Remember that children often imitate their parents' behavior. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members watch a lot of TV are likely to spend their time in the same way. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members have "quiet" time away from the TV when they read (either alone to each other), talk to each other, play games or engage in other activities tend to do the same.

* Watch TV with your child when you can. Talk with him about what you see. Answer his questions. Try to point out the things in TV programs that are like your child's everyday life.

* When you can't watch TV with your child, spot check to see what she's watching. Ask questions after the program ends. See what excites her and what troubles her. Find out what she has learned and remembered.

* Go to the library and find books that explore the themes of the TV shows that your child watches.

* Limit the amount of time your child spends playing video games. As with TV programs, be aware of the games he likes to play and discuss his choices with him.

Encourage Your Child to Use the Library

Libraries are places of learning and discovery for everyone. Helping your child find out about libraries will set him on the road to being an independent learner. Here are some suggestions for how to help:

* Introduce your child to the library as early as possible. Even when your child is a toddler, take him along on weekly trips to the library. If you work during the day or have other obligations, remember that many libraries are open in the evening.

* If your child can print his name, it is likely that your library will issue him a library card if you will also sign for him. See that your child gets his own library card as soon as possible so that he can check out his own books.

* When you take your child to the library, introduce yourself and your child to the librarian. Ask the librarian to show you around the library and tell you about the services it has to offer. For example, in addition to all kinds of books, your library most likely will have magazines of interest to both your child and to you. It will likely have newspapers from many different places. Most libraries also have tapes and CDs of books, music CDs and tapes, movies on video and on DVD and many more resources. Your library also might have books in languages other than English or programs to help adults improve their English reading skills.

Ask the librarian to tell your child about special programs that he might participate in, such as summer reading programs and book clubs and about services such as homework help.

Your child needs to learn how long she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.

* Let your child know that she must follow the library's rules of behavior. Libraries want children to use their materials and services. However, they generally have rules such as the following that your child needs to know and obey:
o Library materials must be handled carefully.
o Materials that are borrowed must be returned on time. Your child needs to learn how long she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.
o All library users need to be considerate of each other. Shouting, running and being disruptive are not appropriate library behaviors.

Help Your Child Learn to Use the Internet Properly and Effectively

The Internet/World Wide WEB—a network of computers that connects people and information all around the world—has become an important part of how we learn and of how we interact with others. For children to succeed today, they must be able to use the Internet. Here are some suggestions for helping your child learn to do so properly and effectively:

* Spend time online with your child. If you don't have a computer at home, ask your librarian if the library has computers that you and your child may use. Learn along with your child. If you're not familiar with computers or with the Internet, ask the librarian if and when someone is available at the library to help you and your child learn together to use them. If your child knows about computers, let her teach you. Ask her to explain what she is doing and why. Ask her to show you her favorite Web sites and to tell you what she likes about them. This will help her build self-confidence and pride in her abilities.

* Help your child to locate appropriate Internet Web sites. At the same time, make sure that she understands what you think are appropriate Web sites for her to visit. Point her in the direction of sites that can help her with homework or that relate to her interests.

Pay attention to any games she might download or copy from the Internet. Some games are violent or contain sexual or other content that is inappropriate for children. Resources such as GetNetWise (http://www.getnetwise.org/), a public service provided by Internet corporations and public interest groups and FamiliesConnect (http://www.ala.org/ICONN/familiesconnect.html), a service of the American Library Association, can help you to make good Web site choices and give you more information about Internet use.

You might consider using "filters" to block your child from accessing sites that may be inappropriate. These filters include software programs that you can install on your computer. In addition, many Internet service providers offer filters (often for free) that restrict the sites that children can visit. Of course, these filters are not always completely effective—and children can find ways around them. The best safeguard is your supervision and involvement.

* Monitor the amount of time that your child spends online. Internet surfing can be just as time consuming as watching TV. Don't let it take over your child's life. Have her place a clock near the computer and keep track of how much time she is spending online. Remember, many commercial online services charge for the amount of time the service is used. These charges can mount up quickly!

* Teach your child rules for using the Internet safely. Let him know that he should never do the following:
o tell anyone—including his friends—his computer password;
o use bad language or send cruel, threatening or untrue e-mail messages;
o give out any personal information, including his name or the names of family members, home address, phone number, age, school name; or
o arrange to meet a stranger that he has "talked" with in an online "chat room."

For more information about helping your child use the Internet, see the following publications, listed in the Resources section: The Librarian's Guide to Cyberspace for Parents and Kids, American Library Association; The Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway, Children's Partnership.

Encourage Your Child to Be Responsible and to Work Independently

Taking responsibility and working independently are important qualities for school success. Here are some suggestions for helping your child to develop these qualities:

* Establish rules. Every home needs reasonable rules that children know and can depend on. Have your child help you to set rules, then make sure that you enforce the rules consistently.

* Make it clear to your child that he has to take responsibility for what he does, both at home and at school. For example, don't automatically defend your child if his teacher tells you that he is often late to class or is disruptive when he is in class. Ask for his side of the story. If a charge is true, let him take the consequences.

* Work with your child to develop a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs to do around the house. List them on a calendar. Younger children can help set the table or put away their toys and clothes. Older children can help prepare meals and clean up afterwards.

* Show your child how to break a job down into small steps, then to do the job one step at a time. This works for everything—getting dressed, cleaning a room or doing a big homework assignment.

* Make your child responsible for getting ready to go to school each morning—getting up on time, making sure that he has everything he needs for the school day and so forth. If necessary, make a checklist to help him remember what he has to do.

* Monitor what your child does after school, in the evenings and on weekends. If you can't be there when your child gets home, give her the responsibility of checking in with you by phone to discuss her plans.

Encourage Active Learning

Children need active learning as well as quiet learning such as reading and doing homework. Active learning involves asking and answering questions, solving problems and exploring interests. Active learning also can take place when your child plays sports, spends time with friends, acts in a school play, plays a musical instrument or visits museums and bookstores.

To promote active learning, listen to your child's ideas and respond to them. Let him jump in with questions and opinions when you read books together. When you encourage this type of give-and-take at home, your child's participation and interest in school is likely to increase.

2 + 2 = 5

2008-12-21T06:19:00.000-08:00

If it was your son, would you care?

Have you looked into his eyes? My son's, I mean. The one who is having so much trouble in your math class.

I have. When I help him at night, I see the frustration in his eyes when he can't understand. I see him search my face, fearful of my disappointment, my criticism when he gets the problem wrong after I've explained it so many times.

I see in his eyes the desire to give up. Around his lips I see the sadness and creeping despair.

I watch the tension in his forehead as he tries so hard to understand. I watch his fingers turn white as he grips his pencil tight with the hope that this time -- this time -- the pencil won't betray him and will write the answers correctly on the page.

Do you look at him in the classroom when you teach him? Do you look in his eyes and see how the disappointment and frustration threaten to reach into his soul? To break his heart? Can you see his failure harden into the foundation of his character?

I ask you: Do you see how hard he tries? How much he wants to please? How his self-esteem is crumbling each time he can't remember seven times eight equals fifty six? He knows more painfully than you that he's tried to learn this five hundred and sixty times and still forgets.

I see how hard he tries. I see it all. When I sit with him at night I can barely continue with our homework session as I watch his freckled face struggle to remember four times six equals twenty-four and my heart breaks into as many pieces.

And so we try to joke and laugh. I tell him that people learn at different speeds and different times. I tell him about his older brother who didn't learn to read till he was eight and then, when it was his time, he learned to read in only three months and went straight to the top of his class that year.

I tell him that some babies get toilet trained at one year, and some at two, and some not till three or four but that you're not likely to see a sixteen-year-old in diapers. And he laughs. I see his eyes brighten a little. His forehead relax. And as he lets go of his tension he seems to focus more, to remember better.

But still it is not enough. And I find myself hating the multiplication tables for hurting my son. Division has become my enemy. Sixty four divided by eight is simply more than I can tolerate. Eighty one divided by nine is more than any nine-year-old should have to deal with.

And I sometimes blame you. Do you teach him well enough? Sometimes I'm angry that you've criticized and made him feel bad. But then I think that you are simply there to blame while I'm feeling so bad for my sweet little boy.

Do you know how sweet he is? My son.

Last night, we fought until he finally sat to do his math. Then we sat for an hour and a half going over three times three equals nine, nine divided by three is three. We put kidney beans on the table and made them into students in a class, candies for each student, shekels for the store, all the things that can be divided and multiplied, estimated and rounded. Sometimes we used a calculator, anything to help him see the numbers again and again. Finally his eyes turned red, his eyelids drooped and he said: "Ta, I'm too tired. Can I go to bed now?"

Dressed in his pajamas he came to kiss me good night. "Y'know Ta", he said, "I hate when I have to stop playing to do homework with you. But then, when we do it, I like it so much I don't want to stop."

Do you know how much my heart jumped with these words, how hard I prayed last night that you will give him a good grade on his math test this morning?

To tell you the truth I don't care if he does the problem right or wrong. It wouldn't bother me at all if just for today seven times eight equaled fifty-four or fifty-two or fifty-six or forty-eight. As far as I'm concerned two plus two doesn't have to equal four if it means that my son will feel good about himself, if he'll want to continue trying, if he'll begin to think of himself as smart and courageous and capable.

Is five plus five really ten? Could it not be twelve just once for the sake of my boy? For the sake of his well-being? Does math care if it is done correctly, or is it only you? Would the numbers take offense, or is it only your rigidity that forces five to be the impossible answer to two times two? Are these numbers worth a life? A future?

Do you ask yourself these questions when you grade his test?

If you looked in his eyes you would? If you loved him you would?

Because, you see, love is strong enough to allow five times zero to be five instead of zero just this once.

If it was your son, would you care?

I don't ask you to love my son as I do. Nor that you grade his papers unfairly. I want him to do his math correctly and to understand the importance of exactitude in all things and ways.

Only please, look into his eyes. While the numbers may not change, the way you teach him might. Though his answers may be flawed, you'll see that his heart is not. Though it may take time for him to learn, you'll see how very hard he tries. And when you grade him -- do it in such a way that only the numbers are judged and not the boy. Five plus five may always be ten, four times four is always sixteen, but just make sure that whatever he writes, my boy does not add up to zero in your eyes or his.

STOPPING SCHOOL VIOLENCE

2008-12-19T19:00:00.000-08:00

Forty years ago the biggest problems in the lives of teachers and students in our school systems were things such as: gum chewing, forgetting a pencil, and excessive talking. Today, teachers and students only wish their problems were so trivial. The mention of towns like Jonesboro, Columbine, and Santee cause these same teachers and students to cringe and learn in fear. Why do our children learn in fear as apposed to forty years ago? The answer isn't always a simple one to pin point.

Parents, students, school faculty, and even politicians have different opinions as to why our children bring guns/weapons to school to solve conflicts. Many Americans feel that if children had better parental supervision in the home then they would be less likely to lash out at their peers. School educators believe that bad parenting and the family that is uninvolved with the school and/or their own child's education is to blame. Still, other opinions point to environment and a child's exposure to violence through the mass media. Politicians tend to voice these same opinions, however, they also try to help find solutions to the problem.

Learning to understand our children and their needs is the first step in obtaining a solution to violence in school. A child that behaves violently, more often than not, has been a victim of physical violence themselves. Children learn by watching adults and how they behave in society. When an adult acts physically to solve a problem, children see that violent act and take away the message that it is okay to be abusive in order to get what they want. This is a behavior that most parents do not want to echo throughout the life of their child. Therefore, instead of teaching our children about hitting/attacking, we should teach them skills that will cause healing, compromise, and resolution.

Once a child feels isolated by their society, friends, and/or family, he or she will begin to show signs of being neglected by lashing out verbally, emotionally, or physically toward others. Many psychologists see this strictly as a behavioral problem caused by a child wanting adult attention. The child does not care whether or not that attention is bad or good as long as the feelings of neglect and isolation are remedied. If a child continually lashes out and is never given the attention they long for soon they will go into survival mode. Survival mode is when a child has feelings of rejection that births a deep anger within themselves that gives them a reprobate mind set. Their conscious is severed from their rational thought process and they begin to have feelings of not caring whom they harm.

The misguidedness of adult role models in a child's life is also a contributing factor in a violent child's life. A child can become confused as to the difference between wrong and right when they see other adults handle the same situation in different manners. An example of this is when child may see their own parent exhibiting signs of road rage. Their parent is yelling and threatening at other drivers in a high traffic area. However, the driver next to them seems unaffected by other drivers. Yet, even another driver impatiently maneuvers their vehicle almost causing a wreck. Whose behavior will the child later echo? Most likely, it will be the parent's example that the child will follow in the future. Children are victims and products of their environment, therefore, they must be taught responsibility and right and wrong not only at home but in society. How can a parent do this? Simple, talk to your kids frequently, and watch their behavior. If it needs modification, you will know and can solve the problem as soon as it begins.

The lack of supervision at home and school results in a child feeling they have more freedom to misbehave. It is impossible for a child to have supervision 24 hours a day. However, it is important that you give your child your time, understanding and love. They need these things in order to survive and grow up to be mentally healthy adults. It is a misconception that children that come from impoverished families are the most likely ones to be the violent offenders in school. It is true that many low income families do struggle daily to meet their necessary living needs and that this struggle does produce stress in the household. In this type of living situation an impoverished children can begin to feel neglected by their parents that work too long or too hard. However, in upper class homes where the parent indulges every material whim of the child can be just as harmful. Many times this child will feel that they should always get what they want and will lash out physically if things don't go their way. Middle class families are no exception to violence either. The very fact that most middle class families are two income families means that a middle class parent has less time to spend with their children resulting in neglect. That neglect can lead to the middle class child acting out to get attention. Parents need to offer their children strong, positive guidance, discipline and leave time for nurturing.

While it may appear that most violent acts in school most frequently occur from male students, the violent acts from female students is rapidly on the rise. Therefore, it is safe to assume that these violent acts are not gender oriented. A child's behavior is not always determined by what sex they are. Students have deducted that there are four reasons for most violent acts in school. First, they agree with society's opinion that violent children have poor parental supervision. Secondly, they believe that influence or peer pressure from friends, groups, memberships, and/or gangs is a strong instigator to violent acts made by students. Thirdly, they consider the effects that drugs and alcohol has on their lives and believe it too could be a contributing factor. Lastly, students reveal that many violent acts are race or religion motivated.

School violence is usually targeted toward students between the sixth and tenth grades. However, a minority in this grouping is more likely to be physically assaulted than any other of their peers. Teachers are also victims of school violence and tend to feel less safe out of the shadow of the education system and in their own homes. Our children have placed fear into our schools and because of this fear the quality of education has been affected. Inadequate education leaves students frustrated, which can lead to delinquency, antisocial behavior, and criminal acts. These three side effects will eventually lead to physical violence.

So what can be done to prevent your child from becoming violent in school? Parents should make time to help their child develop into a productive member of society. Talking with your children is a good start. Answer their questions as honestly as you can. Teach them clearly the difference between right and wrong and give them good problem solving skills. A parent's example can say more to a child that a thousand conversations so let your actions speak louder than your words. Home is the best place to give your child morals and ethics that they will later take with them into their school environment.

Schools have taken on the challenge of solving the problem of violence in school. Solutions that not only make all children safe in their teaching environment but also make them better citizens within the community. Extremely violent students are sent to boot camps, shock incarceration programs, or they perform community service. Education institutions have become aware of the increased availability of weapons in school and because of this they randomly check backpacks and lockers. Many schools have guards and metal detectors at their front doors. Schools add to this security by putting up fences and blocking access to roads. Also, they have begun to lock and chain doors that should not be accessed by students. Teachers and parents visiting as teacher's aides, help to monitor students for discipline problems. New dress codes and discipline codes have been established to make school a less controversial environment. School counselors are on site to talk with students and help them resolve their problems. Many schools have instituted Conflict Resolution Programs within their system. A Conflict Resolution Program is a program that can defuse potentially violent situations and offers alternative nonviolent means to resolve students' differences. Crisis Centers within the school is also a place where teachers can send students to cool off when they become angry and to get counseling for that anger. Ideas such as these can help students feel safer within their own environment.

Remedies to prevent school violence are growing everyday. Our children should be safe in their learning environment and not live in fear that one of their classmates will assault them or even kill them. If the problem of school violence is not solved eventually these violent students will become tomorrow's citizens. Citizens that don't know right from wrong, who do not care whom they harm, and who must get attention or their way the fastest way they know how. This is not how we view the future of the younger generation. Therefore, we must teach our children at a young age right and wrong, problem solving, and also show them the right way to live by our own examples of the lives we lead before them. It is up to all of us (parents, students, school faculty, and government) to give our children a brighter future and to show them a better way.

THE BIG SIX PROBLEM-SOLVING

2008-12-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

Parents can play an important role in helping their children succeed in school, but they need an effective approach in order to do this well. The approach taken in the book, "Helping with Homework: A Parent's Guide to Information Problem-Solving," is based on the Big Six Skills problem-solving approach. The Big Six Skills apply to any problem or activity that requires a solution or result based on information. An abundance of information is available from many sources, and the Big Six can help parents effectively deal with that information to guide their youngsters through school assignments.

THE BIG SIX APPROACH

The Big Six approach has six components: task definition, information seeking strategies, location and access, use of information, synthesis, and evaluation.

1. Task Definition: In the task definition stage, students need to determine what is expected from the assignment.

2. Information Seeking Strategies: Once students know what's expected of them, they need to identify the resources they will need to solve the task as defined. This is information seeking.

3. Location & Access: Next, the students must find potentially useful resources. This is location and access--the implementation of the information seeking strategy.

4. Use of Information: Use of information requires the students to engage the information (e.g., read it) and decide how to use it (e.g., in text or in a footnote).

5. Synthesis: Synthesis requires the students to repackage the information to meet the requirements of the task as defined.

6. Evaluation: Finally, students need to evaluate their work on two levels before it is turned in to the teacher. Students need to know if their work will meet their teacher's expectations for quality and efficiency.

The Big Six steps may be applied in any order, but all steps must be completed.

PARENTS' ROLE AND STUDENTS' ROLE

The Big Six approach requires parents and students to assume different roles. The parent assumes the role of a "coach" and the child assumes the role of "thinker and doer." As a coach, the parent can use the Big Six Skills to guide the student through all the steps it takes to complete the assignment.

1. Parents can help by first asking their children to explain assignments in their own words. This is "task definition"--a logical first step.

2. Parents can also help by discussing possible sources of information. This is "information seeking strategies."

3. Parents can then help their children implement information seeking strategies by helping their children find useful resources. This is the Big Six step called "location and access." Location and access may have to be repeated during an assignment because some children may not identify everything they need right at the beginning. Parents can facilitate by brainstorming with their children alternate places where information might be available.

4. In the "use of information" stage, parents can discuss whether the information the child located is relevant and if so, help the child decide how to use it.

5. In the "synthesis" stage, parents can ask for a summary of the information in the child's own words, and ask whether the information meets the requirements identified in the "task definition" stage.

6. The end of any assignment is the final check--an evaluation of all the work that has been done. Parents can help their children with the "evaluation" stage by discussing whether the product answers the original question, whether it meets the teacher's expectations, and whether the project could have been done more efficiently.

As children work through each of the Big Six steps, they need to think about what they need to do, and then they need to find appropriate ways to do it. This is their role--"thinker and doer." Children should be encouraged to be as independent as possible, but they will often have difficulty beginning an assignment because they are confused about what is expected of them. Whatever the reason is for their inability to get started, students have the ultimate responsibility for getting their work done. When parents act as coaches, they can help their children assume this responsibility by engaging them in conversation about what is expected of them, and then by guiding them throughout the assignment using the Big Six Skills.

WHY ASSIGNMENTS?

Assignments provide students with an opportunity to review and practice new material, to correct errors in understanding and production, and to assess levels of mastery. Every assignment is an information problem that can be solved using the Big Six. For instance, the goal of many assignments is to have the students practice a skill taught in class. If a child is having a problem understanding an assignment, the parent may help by encouraging the child to explain what it is he or she does not understand. The parent can use information seeking strategies to help the child identify information sources by asking questions such as: "Is there another student in your class, who can help you understand how to do this?" or, "Did the teacher give any other examples?" The parent can help the child identify information sources and suggest ways to get them. For instance, the public television network may have a homework hotline, the public library may have study guides, or a neighborhood child may be in the same class.

TECHNOLOGY AND THE BIG SIX

The Big Six approach recognizes the benefits of technology in education because computers are tools that help organize information. Software programs do a variety of functions such as edit written work, check grammar and spelling, chart and graph quantities, and construct outlines. Computers can also help with time management, setting priorities, and evaluating efficiency.

Using the Internet, students can connect to many non-traditional sources of information and are not limited to information contained on library shelves. They can use e-mail to talk directly with specialists and experts who can add a personal dimension to an assignment.

SEVEN INTELLIGENCES

2008-12-14T18:17:00.000-08:00

Arguing that "reason, intelligence, logic, knowledge are not synonymous...," Howard Gardner (1983) proposed a new view of intelligence that is rapidly being incorporated in school curricula. In his Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Gardner expanded the concept of intelligence to also include such areas as music, spacial relations, and interpersonal knowledge in addition to mathematical and linguistic ability.

This digest discusses the origins of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences, his definition of intelligence, the incorporation of the Theory of Multiple Intelligences into the classroom, and its role in alternative assessment practices.

SEVEN INTELLIGENCES

Gardner defines intelligence as "the capacity to solve problems or to fashion products that are valued in one or more cultural setting" (Gardner & Hatch, 1989). Using biological as well as cultural research, he formulated a list of seven intelligences. This new outlook on intelligence differs greatly from the traditional view which usually recognizes only two intelligences, verbal and computational. The seven intelligences Gardner defines are:

1. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

consists of the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically. This intelligence is most often associated with scientific and mathematical thinking.

2. Linguistic Intelligence

involves having a mastery of language. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively manipulate language to express oneself rhetorically or poetically. It also allows one to use language as a means to remember information.

3. Spatial Intelligence

gives one the ability to manipulate and create mental images in order to solve problems. This intelligence is not limited to visual domains--Gardner notes that spatial intelligence is also formed in blind children.

4. Musical Intelligence

encompasses the capability to recognize and compose musical pitches, tones, and rhythms. (Auditory functions are required for a person to develop this intelligence in relation to pitch and tone, but it is not needed for the knowledge of rhythm.)

5. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

is the ability to use one's mental abilities to coordinate one's own bodily movements. This intelligence challenges the popular belief that mental and physical activity are unrelated.

6. The Personal Intelligences includes

* interpersonal feelings and intentions of others and
* intrapersonal intelligence--the ability to understand one's own feelings and motivations.

These two intelligences are separate from each other. Nevertheless, because of their close association in most cultures, they are often linked together.

Although the intelligences are anatomically separated from each other, Gardner claims that the seven intelligences very rarely operate independently. Rather, the intelligences are used concurrently and typically complement each other as individuals develop skills or solve problems. For example, a dancer can excel in his art only if he has

* strong musical intelligence to understand the rhythm and variations of the music,

* interpersonal intelligence to understand how he can inspire or emotionally move his audience through his movements, as well as

* bodily-kinesthetic intelligence to provide him with the agility and coordination to complete the movements successfully.

BASIS FOR INTELLIGENCE

Gardner argues that there is both a biological and cultural basis for the multiple intelligences. Neurobiological research indicates that learning is an outcome of the modifications in the synaptic connections between cells. Primary elements of different types of learning are found in particular areas of the brain where corresponding transformations have occurred. Thus, various types of learning results in synaptic connections in different areas of the brain. For example, injury to the Broca's area of the brain will result in the loss of one's ability to verbally communicate using proper syntax. Nevertheless,this injury will not remove the patient's understanding of correct grammar and word usage.

In addition to biology, Gardner (1983) argues that culture also plays a large role in the development of the intelligences. All societies value different types of intelligences. The cultural value placed upon the ability to perform certain tasks provides the motivation to become skilled in those areas. Thus, while particular intelligences might be highly evolved in many people of one culture, those same intelligences might not be as developed in the individuals of another.

USING MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES IN THE CLASSROOM

Accepting Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences has several implications for teachers in terms of classroom instruction. The theory states that all seven intelligences are needed to productively function in society. Teachers, therefore, should think of all intelligences as equally important. This is in great contrast to traditional education systems which typically place a strong emphasis on the development and use of verbal and mathematical intelligences. Thus, the Theory of Multiple Intelligences implies that educators should recognize and teach to a broader range of talents and skills.

Another implication is that teachers should structure the presentation of material in a style which engages most or all of the intelligences. For example, when teaching about the revolutionary war, a teacher can show students battle maps, play revolutionary war songs, organize a role play of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and have the students read a novel about life during that period. This kind of presentation not only excites students about learning, but it also allows a teacher to reinforce the same material in a variety of ways. By activating a wide assortment of intelligences, teaching in this manner can facilitate a deeper understanding of the subject material.

Everyone is born possessing the seven intelligences. Nevertheless, all students will come into the classroom with different sets of developed intelligences. This means that each child will have his own unique set of intellectual strengths and weaknesses. These sets determine how easy (or difficult) it is for a student to learn information when it is presented in a particular manner. This is commonly referred to as a learning style. Many learning styles can be found within one classroom. Therefore, it is impossible, as well as impractical, for a teacher to accommodate every lesson to all of the learning styles found within the classroom. Nevertheless the teacher can show students how to use their more developed intelligences to assist in the understanding of a subject which normally employs their weaker intelligences (Lazear, 1992). For example, the teacher can suggest that an especially musically intelligent child learn about the revolutionary war by making up a song about what happened.

TOWARDS A MORE AUTHENTIC ASSESSMENT

As the education system has stressed the importance of developing mathematical and linguistic intelligences, it often bases student success only on the measured skills in those two intelligences. Supporters of Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences believe that this emphasis is unfair. Children whose musical intelligences are highly developed, for example, may be overlooked for gifted programs or may be placed in a special education class because they do not have the required math or language scores. Teachers must seek to assess their students' learning in ways which will give an accurate overview of the their strengths and weaknesses.

As children do not learn in the same way, they cannot be assessed in a uniform fashion. Therefore, it is important that a teacher create an "intelligence profiles" for each student. Knowing how each student learns will allow the teacher to properly assess the child's progress (Lazear, 1992). This individualized evaluation practice will allow a teacher to make more informed decisions on what to teach and how to present information.

Traditional tests (e.g., multiple choice, short answer, essay...) require students to show their knowledge in a predetermined manner. Supporters of Gardner's theory claim that a better approach to assessment is to allow students to explain the material in their own ways using the different intelligences. Preferred assessment methods include student portfolios, independent projects, student journals, and assigning creative tasks. An excellent source for a more in-depth discussion on these different evaluation practices is Lazear (1992).

CONCLUSION

Schools have often sought to help students develop a sense of accomplishment and self-confidence. Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences provides a theoretical foundation for recognizing the different abilities and talents of students. This theory acknowledges that while all students may not be verbally or mathematically gifted, children may have an expertise in other areas, such as music, spatial relations, or interpersonal knowledge. Approaching and assessing learning in this manner allows a wider range of students to successfully participate in classroom learning.

THE BASICS OF CHILD STRESS

2008-12-11T18:06:00.000-08:00

Parents tend to assume that it is only adults who can rightfully claim that they are stressed. It is a condition that is normally attributed to a fast-paced workplace and the burden of responsibilities. With this, they become insensitive to their children’s daily problems and wave of the symptoms of stress that their children might be showing. Stress is a condition that is inevitably felt by all ages, parents should always watch out for symptoms in their children in order to properly guide them to deal with stress.

There are two types of stress that children experience. The first is called normative stress which is stress that is experienced by children as they progress through different phases of development. Examples of normative stress are learning to walk, learning to talk, to read and write and learning to make new friends, among others. Normative stress is productive, it cannot and should not be prevented as this helps the child mature and become more independent.

The second type of stress is life-changing stress. This is a more serious situation caused by abrupt changes in a child’s routine. One of the biggest life-changing stress trigger in children is divorce. Children are highly dependent on their parents and when this foundation of their family is threatened, in most cases children feel lonely and frightened. For this reason, parents should try refraining from fighting in front of their children. Death is another life-changing stress that could leave children confused and sad. When death happens, be it a family member, a pet, a friend or a relative, parents must be ready to explain the situation to their children and help as much as they can to help the child grieve and move on with life. Peer pressure is another common cause of stress.

Children have a heavy need to belong and be liked by other children and at an early stage this entails conforming to the social norms in the classroom even if it is against the child’s personal wants. There are many other causes of child stress such as moving to a new community, school work, extra-curricular activities, etc. The key to helping a child handle stress properly is knowing the symptoms of child stress.

The physical symptoms of child stress includes sweaty palms, aggressive outburst, self-comforting actions such as hugging knees while rocking, wetting the bed, trouble sleeping and nervous motor behaviors such as thumb-sucking, finger-nail biting, hair twirling, etc.

The emotional symptoms of stress are excessive shyness and being over clingy to a parent. In time, children develop different ways to cope with stress, some distance themselves from emotions, some would use violence as an outlet and some would simply cry. Stress is a normal part of life that does not normally raise concern. However, over-exposure to stress at a young age and subjecting children to continuously apply their coping strategies may result to a behavioral change that a child would likely carry for the rest of his life. For this reason, it is pertinent to help a child deal with stress properly.

Adults can help by preparing the child for changes to come. Be it moving to a new home or a new sibling, talking to a child about what to expect and helping them have the proper mindset for what is to come would prevent the trauma. Adults should also provide the child an outlet for feelings so that they will always have an idea of what goes on in the child’s head and be able to pinpoint when action is needed.

TIPS FOR PARENTS WITH A SPOILED CHILD

2008-12-11T17:54:00.000-08:00

There are tips for parents with a spoiled child that can help make things easier. The first thing a parent needs to understand is why the child is spoiled. Every parent wants to have a happy child and sometimes being to permissive and lenient with a small child can result in the child becoming a bit spoiled and always wanting their way. Temper tantrums and doing what they want to do no matter what you say are signs that the child might have a problem with authority. Saying no to a spoiled child can be difficult if you have always allowed them to have their way.

The rule of thumb for parenting a spoiled child is to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior. This is the hardest thing for parents to do. If you are out in public and the child is having a temper tantrum, it can be hard to ignore and easier to give in. This however is what might have caused the problem in the first place. You must stand strong and ignore the child. If other people see this behavior, they will more than likely understand and know what you are going through. Do not respond to bad behavior by giving in to save yourself from embarrassment.

Reading about how to handle a spoiled child is easier than actually doing it. Keep in mind that rewarding for good behavior will work only if you ignore bad behavior. If you happen to see the child doing something that is good, you can offer a reward and praise. By praising them for doing something good, they will learn that doing something good is the only way to get a reward and praise. It is very hard for a parent to change how they react or what they give into, but if you want the child to learn right from wrong, you have to be firm.

Setting limits is not only necessary for parents with a spoiled child, but also for parents that do not want to have a spoiled child. If you set limits early, you will have a child that realizes the difference between right and wrong behavior. If your child is a bit spoiled, you must start small. Set a limit that they can adhere to easily. Setting limits that are unreasonable and consist of a total change for the child can be too much for a child to understand. Start small and work up. As the child learns, you can increase the limits. It will not seem like that big of a change.

There are many tips for parents with spoiled children, but these are the best tips that can turn a child around the easiest. You can say yes to some things, but make sure it is not for the wrong reasons. To avoid having a spoiled child means starting when they are young. Children need to learn the difference between good behavior and bad behavior early in life or it will be a little harder to discipline them later on

AGES & STAGES - INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

2008-11-28T06:40:00.000-08:00

Developmental milestones give a general idea about what to expect from children of different ages. However, there will always be differences between individual children. Some children begin to walk at 10 months, some at 15 months. Some toddle along quickly and smoothly, getting the "hang of it" right away. Others fall down a lot, hesitate, or even give up for a few days. Some children talk before they are 2, others talk very little before they are 3 or so. Some will always be quiet people.
Some abilities become clear in one child, but may never be very strong in another.

Recognize the individual in the child and look for differences based on the following:

SENSE OF SECURITY
Some children need more consistency, more reassurance, and more confidence and trust-building than others. Insecurity sometimes can cause a child to withdraw or behave aggressively.

ACTIVITY LEVEL
Some children need more active play than others. They need the opportunity to move around, jump, run, and bounce many times throughout the day. Other children need more quiet time or more rest.

RESPONSE TO STIMULATION
Children are inherently different in their tolerance to noise, activity, visual stimulation, or changes in the environment. An environment that is sensitive to this need in children will provide interesting activities as well as a quiet place to get away from the action.

THINKING STYLE
Some children think quietly through possible solutions to a problem; others push in and try the first idea that occurs to them. Some children are interested in experimenting to find out how objects work; others choose to ask friends or adults for help.

Developmental guidelines should be used as a general rule of thumb. In your work with children, do not confuse earlier or faster development with better development. Early talking by a 1-year-old does not mean that the child will be a chatterbox or a brilliant conversationalist at age 10. Later talking may mean that a toddler is putting more energy into physical growth and motor exploration right now.

Development or the lack of it that falls outside the normal range may indicate a problem that requires attention. You may need to help parents recognize possible problems and special needs, such as poor vision or hearing. Familiarity with developmental norms and with community resources can assist you in helping parents seek professional advice about developmental questions.

Persiapan Sekolah ke Luar Negeri

2008-11-28T06:32:00.000-08:00

Perlu persiapan matang dan panjang bila ingin menyekolahkan anak ke luar negeri.

Sebagai orangtua, Anda pasti ingin memberikan pendidikan terbaik bagi si kecil. Tak hanya ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi terbaik di Indonesia, mungkin Anda ingin menyekolahkan si kecil ke luar negeri. Sekolah ke luar negeri memang memiliki beberapa nilai positif. Anda bisa memilih sekolah dengan kualitas terbaik, sekaligus memberikan bekal pengalaman kepada si kecil untuk berinteraksi dengan bermacam latar belakang budaya yang berbeda.

Sayangnya tidak mudah untuk sekolah di luar negeri. Selain biaya pendidikan yang mahal, untuk masuk ke sekolah atau perguruan tinggi dengan kualitas terbaik si kecil harus melalui seleksi yang ketat dan memiliki pengetahuan luas. Selain membekali si kecil dengan pengetahuan yang luas, Anda juga harus mempersiapkan dana pendidikan yang besar.

Hal pertama yang harus diperhitungkan adalah akan disekolahkan di mana si kecil. Berbeda negara tentu akan membutuhkan dana yang berbeda pula. Misalnya si kecil akan disekolahkan di Singapura, tentu biayanya berbeda bila ia sekolah di negara Eropa. Selain standar biaya pendidikan yang berbeda, biaya hidupnya pun berbeda. Faktor biaya hidup ini harus Anda pertimbangkan pula dengan matang, karena jumlah tidak sedikit, atau bahkan lebih besar dari biaya pendidikannya sendiri.

Kedua, perhitungkan biaya pendidikan dalam beberapa tahun ke depan. Hal ini bisa berdasarkan kenaikan inflasi di negara tersebut. Misalnya di negara Eropa yang memiliki inflasi kecil, berarti kenaikan biayanya tidak akan sebesar kenaikan biaya pendidikan di Indonesia yang memiliki angka inflasi tinggi. Hitung biaya sekarang dikalikan berapa tahun ke depan si kecil masuk dan inflasi tahunan di negara tersebut. Meski itu bukan hitungan pasti, Anda bisa mendapatkan gambaran kasar berapa kira-kira biaya pendidikan di negara tersebut dalam 10-15 tahun ke depan.

Setelah mengetahui biaya hidup dan perkiraan biaya pendidikan di negara tujuan tersebut dalam beberapa tahun ke depan, Anda tinggal menentukan investasi yang akan Anda pilih untuk mempersiapkan biaya pendidikan si kecil. Anda tidak bisa hanya mengandalkan menabung saja untuk biaya pendidikan si kecil, karena bunga yang didapat kecil. Anda bisa menggabungkan beberapa jenis investasi sekaligus, seperti reksadana hingga saham.

Yang perlu Anda pertimbangkan juga adalah investasi berbasis mata uang setempat. Misalnya Anda akan menyekolahkan si kecil di Jerman, berarti Anda harus menempatkan sebagian uang Anda untuk investasi berbasis mata uang euro, bukan dolar atau poundsterling. Investasi berbasis mata uang setempat sangat pas bila si kecil akan segera berangkat suatu saat nanti, misalnya deposito berbasis euro atau dolar.

Satu hal lagi yang tak kalah penting adalah kedisiplinan Anda dalam berinvestasi. Jangan sampai seperti listrik yang nyala dan kemudian padam saat berinvestasi. Anda harus menyisakan uang secara rutin setiap bulan agar bisa mempersiapkan dana untuk si kecil. Kedisiplinan Anda dalam menyisihkan dana pendidikan bagi si kecil merupakan kunci yang sangat penting untuk mendukung si kecil meraih cita-cita tertingginya.

Persiapan Biaya Preschool

2008-11-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

Kapan waktu terbaik menyiapkan dana pendidikan anak? ”Sejak Anda menikah dan berencana punya anak,” kata Antony Japari penulis buku Solusi Cerdas Keuangan Keluarga.

Menurut Antony, begitu menikah, misalnya tahun depan ingin memiliki anak, maka orangtua sudah harus melakukan perencanaan.

Dalam hal ini, rencana pendidikan paling awal adalah preschool. Siapkan dana sesuai kemampuan keuangan Anda. Menurut Antony, ada beberapa langkah yang perlu diperhatikan.

1. Perkirakan preschool mana yang akan Anda pilih. Hitung semua biaya sekolah, ongkos transportasi, dan biaya pendukung lainnya. Semakin detil perhitungan biaya yang Anda bisa dapatkan, semakin jelas bagi Anda mengatur perencanaan. Siapa tahu ada biaya yang bisa disubsitusi atau dikurangi. Misalnya, jika lokasi preschool anak Anda searah dengan kantor suami Anda, berarti Anda bisa mengurangi biaya transportasi berangkat.
2. Tentukan berapa lama lagi biaya tersebut harus dipenuhi. Misalnya anak Anda kini berumur setahun, maka dalam dua atau tiga tahun lagi anak Anda akan masuk preschool.
3. Berarti Anda punya waktu dua atau tiga tahun untuk menyiapkan biaya preschool. Kurun waktu ini bisa Anda manfaatkan dengan menabung atau memilih investasi seperti deposito, reksadana atau asuransi pendidikan.
4. Cari tahu informasi total biaya pendidikan di masa anak Anda masuk preschool. Agar dana yang Anda siapkan sesuai dengan kebutuhan biaya pendidikan pada masa tersebut.
5. Lakukan revisi dan evaluasi atas tabungan atau investasi yang Anda pilih. Langkah ini perlu dilakukan mengingat asumsi suku bunga tabungan, deposito, asuransi maupun produk investasi lain bisa berubah. Terlebih untuk mengantisipasi perubahan biaya pendidikan yang biasanya terjadi tiap tahun ajaran.

Moral Education

2008-11-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

Moral Education - A New Perspective

For teachers, parents and all concerned with public life, moral education is an indispensable part of children's education. The systematic development of a moral education programme must be regarded as central to the building of a progressive society and a sense of true identity among its future citizens.

There is compelling and conspicuous evidence of widespread social disintegration in the world today. It is characterised by the lack of moral discipline, the increasing breakdown of the family and community, the loss of cultural identity and purposeful traditional values, the rise of lawlessness, and the want of genuine and committed concern for the welfare of humanity. Such social disintegration points to the imperative need for children to receive moral education in school from their earliest years.

Any one believe that the development of moral character constitutes the essential foundation of a true education. The Baha'i writings state: "Good behaviour and high moral character must come first, for unless the character is trained, acquiring knowledge will only prove injurious. Knowledge is praiseworthy when it is coupled with ethical conduct and a virtuous character; otherwise it is a deadly poison, a frightful danger."

Thus, beyond the belief in the importance of providing children with a relevant and excellent academic education, it is the Baha'i view that education must also exercise a transforming influence upon the character of the individual so that intellectual learning may be of genuine benefit to the individual and society.

The approach that the Baha'i community has taken in its education efforts has been to focus on the training of individuals capable of making moral decisions and acting accordingly. Examples of the capabilities that must be developed throughout the stages of growth of an individual are those of: exercising initiative in a creative and disciplined way; sustaining effort, persevering and overcoming obstacles; thinking systemically in the search for solutions; opposing one's lower passions and self-centered tendencies by turning towards one's noble attributes and aspirations and by directing one's energies towards the welfare of society; managing one's affairs and responsibilities with rectitude of conduct; creating environments of unity built on diversity; contributing to the establishment of justice; and participating effectively in consultation and in collective enterprise.

The Baha'is believe that moral capabilities, such as the few mentioned above, cannot be developed in a secular framework of education. An indispensable requisite for developing these capabilities is to establish a connection between the human heart and God, thus enabling the individual to manifest the spiritual qualities with which the human soul has been endowed, such as justice, generosity, love, compassion and truthfulness. The teachings of the religions of the world are the depositories of those truths that assist every human being in establishing a relationship with God and developing these qualities.

Thus, educational programmes addressing the moral dimensions of life draw upon the religious heritage of humanity, particularly the scriptures of the world's religions. This does not mean that such an approach is sectarian in nature. Rather, educational efforts are carried out in the context of the unity of God, the fundamental unity of all religions and the oneness of mankind. An essential concept underlying these programmes is that only an unfettered investigation of truth can free an individual from the chains of blind imitation and prejudice. A primary objective, then, of moral educational curricula is to foster in students the desire, skills and discipline for the systematic investigation of reality.

Adapted from: www.experiencefestival.com/a/Bahai/id/50440

KINDERGARTEN

2008-10-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

What is a kindergarten?

A kindergarten, or kindy as a lot of us know them, is an education and care centre governed by a Kindergarten Association. They are funded in exactly the same way by Government as Early Childhood Centres, with funding dependent upon how many qualified teachers are on the staff.

Traditionally, these centres were known as Free Kindergartens (i.e. available to all pre-school children), but are now more commonly known as Community Kindergartens, which reflects the enhanced partnership role of parents, whanau and the local community.

Kindys have traditionally provided part-time, sessional care for pre-schoolers (with a morning session for older children, and an afternoon session for the youngsters), but increasingly more and more kindergartens now provide an "all day" (i.e. up to 6 hours/day) service for each child. Check with your local kindy on their service offerings.

What ages does a kindergarten cater for?

Most kindys enrol children aged between two and five years, but placement is subject to availability. A quick phone call to your local kindy will enable you to find out at what age they are accepting children.

A word of warning: kindys are usually very popular, and often operate Waiting Lists. Their popularity is related to both their relatively low cost and their high quality education. We therefore strongly recommend that you get your child added to the waiting list well before you want them to start, or you may find that your child will not be able to gain entry until they are 3.5 or 4 years old.

At kindy the children are traditionally divided into two groups:

* older children attend morning sessions five-days-a-week. These sessions generally run between 8.30am and 12pm; and
* younger children attend afternoon sessions three-days-a-week which, for the most part run between 1pm and 3.15pm

But there is increasingly an "all day"service (i.e. 6 hour session x 4 days, and 4.25 hour session x 1 day each week).

Again, these are guidelines and can vary from kindy to kindy. The best place to find out about session times is from your local kindy.

The age at which children start and the age at which they move up a group will vary from kindy to kindy. There are no legal requirements or rules that apply across the country. The only legal requirement related to age at kindy, is that your child must be enrolled and attending a primary school by the age of six years.
How does kindergarten differ from other service providers?

Kindy is different from other ECE services in several ways.

* One of the biggest differences is the fact that all kindergarten teachers must be registered teachers. This means holding a Diploma in Teaching (ECE) or similar qualification, with a minimum of three years training.
* Cost-wise there is a noticeable difference. Kindy is, for the most part, government funded and costs parents roughly $2 - $5 per morning or aftersession. The fees are compulsory, enforced by a debt collection policy, the same as all other ECE centres.
* The ratio of teachers to children differs greatly. At kindys the ratio is around 1 teacher : 15 children, whereas it sits around 1 teacher : 5 children at other services.
* Kindy caters for children from 2 years through to 5 years of age, when they begin attending primary school. (In 2009, Government will raise the earliest starting date for kindy children to 2.5 years.) Other services cater for a broader age group including toddlers and babies.
* Kindy is part-time education. This can be difficult for working parents. The majority of other services provide full-time education and care.

What will my child learn?

In New Zealand we have an early childhood curriculum called Te Whaariki. This curriculum sets out the learning experiences and goals for children before they reach school age. The overriding aim of Te Whaariki is for children:

“to grow up as competent and confident learners and communicators, healthy in mind, body and spirit, secure in their sense of belonging and in the knowledge that they make a valued contribution to society”

To help achieve this, kindergarten aims to provide environments for our children that create trust and foster their confidence. Children are encouraged to give things a go and to become active in their own learning.

Teachers plan learning programmes around the children’s interests at the time. As we all know, if our children are interested in something, they will be encouraged to participate for longer and consequently derive greater value from the experience.

There’s a lot of dramatic play and activity at kindergarten that allows the children to learn important social lessons about equal roles and equal rights for everyone.

Children are also encouraged to use language to communicate. They are taught to let others know how they are feeling and what their needs are by talking to them. The expression “Use your words” will be commonly heard – especially when encouraging youngsters not to hit or get frustrated. Your child will also be taught to stand up for themselves verbally, by learning phrases such as "Stop it, I don't like it".

The older children in the morning sessions will also learn to be “school ready”. They will become used to “mat time”, sitting quietly and listening, following the teacher’s instructions, and “playing nicely” with other children. They will also learn the basics of numbers and letters, and probably be able to write their name. They will also become familiar with books and reading, which will lay the foundations for their primary schooling.
How are kindergartens run?

Kindys are run by a committee made up of parents and people from the community. You can get involved on a day-to-day level by taking the opportunity to join the committee, or become a volunteer helper or fundraiser.

At a higher level, each kindy committee is answerable to the local kindergarten association. For example, the largest association in the country is the Auckland Kindergarten Association, which is responsible for 107 kindys in the greater Auckland region. The Associations take a strong governance and management role, and are responsible for the quality of education and financial control in each kindy.
What will it cost me?

Kindys will charge a fee at the beginning of each term. This is because government funding does not fully cover the costs of running a centre and resourcing it properly. Most kindys charge between $2 and $5 per (morning or afternoon) session per child to cover their operational costs.

Refer to the "20 Hours Free ECE" article regarding Government subsidies for parents with children aged 3 years and 4 years, and enquire about its availability at your local kindy.

Despite these additional charges, they also have to rely heavily on fund-raising undertaken by the community, committee and parent helpers, so kindy may also cost you some volunteered time.

Can my child attend kindy and another ECE at the same time?

Yes. There’s absolutely no reason why your child can’t attend kindy and daycare for example. Logistically this may be challenging in terms of pick-up and drop-off, especially if you are a working parent. But ask around, there may be other parents in the same position who are willing to share the task. Some day-cares do provide a drop off and pick-up service, but may charge extra for this.

If your child does attend daycare, making the decision to have them also attend kindy can be a difficult one due to the logistics involved. Some of the reasons parents choose this option are related to -

* cost – it may save you money to have your child attend kindy
* school-readiness – at many other ECE services the teacher/child ratio is likely to be 4-5 children to one teacher. This ratio dramatically changes at kindys where it is more likely to be 1 teacher to 15 or so children. This may better prepare your child for the primary school classroom where they must deal with less one-on-one teacher contact.

What will my child need to take?

This will depend a little on the kindy your child attends. Some kindys have shared morning and afternoon tea for which the parents contribute a healthy item of food daily or weekly. For example, you may be asked to bring a piece of fruit each day for the fruit basket.

For the most part you’ll need to prepare a backpack with the following:

* small lunch box and drink bottle
* sun hat
* sun cream
* a change of clothes, and plastic bag to hold the dirty clothes

What else do I need to know?

Some kindys require that your child be toilet trained before they attend kindy, and some kindys do not require your child to be toilet trained. Please check the requirements of your local kindy.

In addition, it’s helpful if you can send them in shoes which are easy for them to get on and off themselves (i.e. with Velcro or elastic tops). Shoes with laces become very time consuming for teachers when taking a group of children outside to play!

CHILDREN ANGRY

2008-10-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some things to think about as you and you daughter strive to develop new skills for dealing with anger:

. Expect anger. Many of us have learned that anger is a bad emotion which good people don't have. When we operate on this premise, we tend to use denial and suppression when our inevitable angry feelings arise. Then when we can't contain it any longer, we blow up and feel out of control. If we can learn that anger exists as one in a range of healthy emotions, we can be more accepting of our own and our children's angry feelings. This allows us to be more conscious and in control of how we choose to express our anger.

. Think about where your daughter's anger is coming from. At one time or another most parents try to "take the blame" for their children's anger. When our kids start yelling at us and calling us names we go straight to the places we feel the most guilty. "Maybe, I haven't set enough limits with her." "Maybe I've set too many." "Maybe I don't even know how to set appropriate limits." Or, "I haven't been spending enough time with her." And then we tend to respond with anger at our child for "making us feel guilty." While it may be true that our kids would enjoy and benefit from more time with us, that is probably only a small part, if any, of what they are really upset about. They may be feeling frustrated with things in school: friendships, homework, whether they will get picked for a team. They may be feeling the push for independence and the best way they can think to establish it is to actively push away from us. If we can avoid "taking it personally," we may be better able to help our children sort out their complicated feelings and prevent our own anger from building up.

. Remember that anger is often a secondary emotion. Children and other people often choose anger as the vehicle to express a number of other emotions. Somehow, anger doesn't leave us feeling as vulnerable as sadness, fear, frustration, rejection, or confusion. If we treat our children's raging outbursts only as a sign of anger, we may miss many other important feelings they are trying to express. If you stay with a child who is "angry" and manage to keep your own anger from building up, you will most often discover more feelings underneath your child's anger, after the "steam has been burned off." You can even invite your child to think about other feelings she may be having as she starts to wind down. "I know you have been feeling very mad. I wonder if you have any other feelings." or "As well as looking mad, you also look sad."
This can be useful to remember for ourselves, as well as for our children. When we look under our own angry feelings, we are likely to find feelings of inadequacy, guilt, fear, sadness, frustration and confusion.

. Work to figure out what you can and can't control. When our children are in the middle of an angry outburst, often our first urge is to try to "stop" their feelings. As many of us have discovered, that is usually not possible. We still have an enormous amount of control, however, because we can control how we respond. If you can get enough perspective on your daughter's feelings that you don't end up mad yourself, you can help her through her struggle. If you do get mad yourself, you still get to control how you express your anger (and other feelings.) "I feel hurt when you call me names and say I don't care about you. I want to hear about how you are feeling. Can you tell me in another way?" "I can't let you throw breakable things when you are mad, but I do want to know how you are feeling. Let's figure out something else for you to do that is safe and still feels like a good way to express your feelings."

. Remember that you can prevent the build-up of anger, as well as learn positive ways to express it. Once we acknowledge that we do, indeed, experience feelings of anger, we can begin to recognize the build-up of our anger. If anger is a "10" we can learn to read if we are moving from a 2 to a 4 to a 6 and can do some things to express our feelings before we are at full-blown fury. "I'm feeling really frustrated by your yelling right now. I'm going to go into my room to take a break. I'll be back in 5 minutes if you want to talk to me then." "I don't want to be called those names. If you can tell me how your are feeling in a different way, I would like to stay and listen. If not, I'm going to go into the kitchen to start working on dinner. When you can talk to me without calling me names, come on in and we'll finish this conversation." You may need to remind your child of the limit (several times), but if you understand that she needs to figure out if you really mean it, you may be able to muster the patience to keep reminding her without getting furious yourself.
As well as averting your own anger in a moment of confrontation, you can also think about how to keep yourself in good emotional shape. What is it that helps you feel better about yourself and stronger as a parent? Taking time for yourself? Spending time with friends? Exercise? Movies? Gardening? Hiking? Seeing a therapist regularly? Getting a massage? The better shape you are in the easier it will be to learn positive ways to deal with your anger.

. Discuss the topic of anger with your daughter. It is very helpful to talk with your daughter about anger when you are not in the middle of a heated conflict. Tell her that you want both of you to learn better, safer, non-hurtful ways to express your anger. Brainstorm with her some different possibilities. You might come up with guidelines like, "You can raise your voice as long as you don't say hurtful things. If you accidentally say hurtful things, you can take them back and try again." You can bang on the couch cushions with the plastic bat, but no throwing things or hitting people." Only you and she will be able to come up with the best ways to safely and effectively express your feelings.

. Practice, make a plan. Once you and your daughter figure out the guidelines for anger in your family, you can practice. You could even use puppets or stuffed animals to pretend with.

. Don't be afraid to say you are sorry. Even with the best-laid plans, we may still fall into old habits. Remember that you can always apologize and think together about a better way you could have expressed what you were feeling.

. Talk to parents you admire. If you have a hard time thinking of ways to express anger positively, check in with parents or other friends you admire. Ask them if they have discovered healthy ways to deal with anger.

7 PATH YOUR CHILD'S SUCCESS: Teacher Tips

2008-10-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

If you want your child to do well in school, there are several things that you as a parent can do to enhance his or her opportunities. Many of these are common sense items, but go often over-looked in this world of latch key children and hurry, hurry.

Ensure that your child is getting an adequate amount of sleep. I would venture to say that about half of my students do not get more than five or six hours of sleep each night. I currently have a student that averages only two hours per night, because he is working a full time job in addition to attending high school. At the beginning of each school term, I survey my students. Many of them work more than twenty hours each week. Of the students that do work, most of them are working only for spending money or to maintain a car, not to assist the family. If you allow your child to work, limit the number of hours each week that he or she can work to no more than 8 or 10. I recommend that a child not be allowed to work while attending high school. Save it for the summer.
Ensure that your child is following a proper diet. Too many times children are left to their own devices when it comes to deciding what to eat. Moms and dads often both work outside of the home, and are often too tired at the end of the day to prepare a nutritious meal. Children will go the quick and easy route. Sometimes parents go the quick and easy route. I know several students who subsist on a diet of fast food and junk food. All of us require proper nutrition for optimum health, but this is especially true of children who still have growing bodies. If you are too busy or too tired to ensure that your child is eating nutritious, balanced meals, then try round robin meals with a friend or neighbor, or ask the child to keep a food log. Also, ensure that the child is eating more than one meal a day -- lots of my students skip break- fast so they can sleep later, and skip lunch because they are only allowed a minimum amount of time to eat at school and they would rather socialize.
Know your child's teachers. As a teacher and a parent, I know that not every child will get along with every teacher, and vice versa. Be involved -- check with your child's school (the counselor or the principal is a good place to start) to see if your child can be moved to another teacher. If you know your child is a visual learner, and has an auditory teacher, then obviously your child isn't under optimum learning conditions.
Know your child's friends. Stay on top of who your child is friends with. Peer pressure has an amazing stronghold on most children. Invite the children to your house, allow them to stay for diner, have sleepovers, and take them with you on fun days. If your child is friends with kids who place family and academics in high priority, then chances are your child will too. If your child is hanging around with known drinkers and drug users, it is a safe bet that your child is at least experimenting with the same. Place restrictions on your child.
Know the parents of your child's friends. Even through high school, children look up to the adults they are around. Children often mimic the behaviors of their parents -- if Mom and/or Dad smoke, it is a good chance that the child will too.
Lead by example. Be the kind of adult that you want your child to be. If you want your child to be educated, ensure that you are educated -- let your child see you learning. Don't drink and smoke if you don't want your child to do so. Don't have sex outside of marriage if you expect your child to be chaste.
One of the best things you can do if you want your child to do well in school is read to him or her every day when they are small -- several times throughout the day if at all possible. Almost all students who enjoy reading the most are those that say they were read to lots when they were small.

You can teach your child to love reading. Make shared reading your nighttime routine -- and nap time, and any other time you desire quiet time from your children. When my own children were pre-school age, they lugged books around everywhere! They memorized several of them, and "read" to one another, to their toys, to anyone who will listen. In addition, they often "read" the pictures of the stories.

When my children, who see me reading for pleasure often, ask me why Mommy thinks reading is so important, I reply, "Smart people read."

Finally: One would think that this would be an already known fact, but it doesn't appear to be. So here goes -- if you want your child to be successful in school, and ultimately grow up and be a successful adult, one of the most basic things that a parent or guardian can do is ensure that your child is not only going to school, but is actually attending his or her classes!

In this day and age, especially when the majority of parents work (both of them), it is easy to either see your children off on the bus, or even drop them off at school, and assume that he or she is attending class. However, in some cases, once that bus or parent drives away, so does the authority that got the child to school in the first place. It is easy for the older child, once at school, to leave. It is also relatively easy for the child to have a note or backup plan when and if the school calls home or attempts to contact the parent or guardian.

Please check with your child's teacher (or teachers, as the case may be) to ensure that
your child is regularly attending class. You would be surprised at how eager most teachers are to help you child succeed -- just as you will be surprised when you get a poor progress report, only to discover that your child has not regularly been attending class!

EDUCATION TIPS : Management Conflicts

2008-10-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

Right now the process of advocating for your child seems overwhelming. There are new relationships to build, meetings to go to, and inevitable conflicts to negotiate. And then there’s the challenge of your child’s file. Remember as you gain experience the whole process will seem less daunting. Here are a few pointers to help you develop your skills in the some crucial areas. Remember, there’s no substitute for practice, but hopefully these quick tips will help you get started on the right foot.

Building Relationships

Knowing how to deal with people can make all the difference in successfully negotiating for your child. Here are some tips on how to deal with some of the more challenging individuals you might run into as you advocate:

The job of a gatekeeper is to keep people from bothering their superiors with unnecessary questions. Remember that they’re doing their job, even when they’re making your job much more difficult. Getting angry with them won’t help. Try to present your case to them logically and be persistent. Call as many times a you need to in order to make headway, but always be polite.
Make sure you have yourself under control whenever you engage in a conversation with anyone at your child’s school.
Making people feel at ease with you is an incredible skill.
When suggesting new ideas, do not attack. Acknowledge the power and skills of the person on the other side. Suggest that your ideas might make things go smoother, but do not insist. Be firm and confident, but not overly aggressive.
Listen to people who know what they’re talking about, but make sure you know enough yourself to be certain of the accuracy of their statements. If you don’t know if what they’ve said is true, ask for some time to research.
Seek to maintain a business relationship with your child’s school. Don’t bring too much personal information into your relationships.
Remember that you are an outsider to the school culture. Treat it with respect. Even if you think you know all there is to know, someone will undoubtedly surprise you.
Many school systems feel threatened by someone who is assertive and knowledgeable. When you speak or bring up points in writing, try to keep from threatening the knowledge or credibility of any members on your child’s team.

Meetings

Meetings. They can be frustrating and terrifying. And yet, they can be the center of action for your child’s education. Learn to use them to the best of your advantage:

Try to keep the conversation focused. Don’t allow the meeting to derail.
Be positive. Suggest solutions. Don’t wait for someone else to come up with the next idea.
Go to meetings with support. When both parents are present, they are more formidable and powerful opponents. If your spouse cannot be present, enlist another family member or friend to go with you.
Suggest tape recording the meeting. Check your state’s regulations on this before suggesting it to the school.
Treat everyone in the room, including yourself, with respect.
Make eye contact.
Don’t let yourself be rushed or bulldozed if you are running out of time. You can always schedule another meeting.
Always debrief after the meeting. Write down what you remember, including key points and important resolutions. Add your own opinions. Do this immediately.
Write a thank you. Use it not only to thank the school for their time and concern, but also as an opportunity to reiterate any open issues and key decisions.

Resolving Conflicts

Negotiating with your child’s school is not always easy. Here are a few pointers that might help you get what you want without making enemies.

Don’t forget that in a lot of conflicts, both sides can be right.
Keep in mind that many school systems fear the expense of special education programs.
Try to see your requests from their side. Ask yourself how you and your child appear to the school. How can you bring both views into line?
Always approach conflict with civility and respect for the person on the other side. Never seek to blame or find fault. Do not speak with scorn.
Ask lots of questions so that you can understand the point of view from the other side. This will help you find solutions advantageous to both sides.
Try to make your child seem as “real” as possible. Tell about your experiences with your child as a way to help people understand what your child really needs.
Compromise may be the key to getting most of what you want, even if you can’t get all of what you want. (A good argument for making a plan that prioritizes what you want for your child.)
Keep a paper trail. Even though litigation is never anyone’s first choice, being prepared for it can save you a lot of trouble later.

The FILE
The most important thing you can do in your efforts as an advocate is to keep records. And to keep them organized. Documentation is the only way you can truly know the progress your child is making and the way he is being treated by the school system. Documentation is also the only way you’ll be able to convince your child’s team of the validity of your child’s needs. When you develop your child’s file, keep the following pointers in mind:

Keep a list of all the people who have ever seen your child for whatever reason. You can organize your list by services, for example, medical, psychological, etc. You can even be more detailed if your child has particular needs by organizing by specialty, for example, ophthalmology.
Get a complete record of all your child’s medical files. You usually need to send a written request.
Get a complete record of your child’s educational files. Again, you usually need to send a written request.
Make copies. Never give your originals to anyone.
Date all documents and file them in chronological order. This makes accessibility easy. You don’t have to remember the name of the doctor, clinic, or school.
If you make notes (like dating) on your documents, use pencil.
Use a three-ring notebook, so that you can easily add or access documents.
Create a table of contents so that you know what you have.
Add new information to your file immediately.

FIND PROBLEMS AT SCHOOL WITH CHILD

2008-09-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

As a parent or guardian, your child’s health and safety should be one of your top concerns. If your child is enrolled in a day care or school program and something goes wrong, you’re sure to feel upset or angry. But taking an aggressive approach can sometimes make the problem worse rather than better. With that in mind, here are five proven steps you can follow to document, report and follow-up when a problem occurs involving your child.

First, get to the heart of the problem. Let your child tell you in his or her own words – but don’t rely on their explanation as the only one. Get information from teachers, classmates or even other parents. You’ll find that there are several sides to the story, and the more you know, the more fully and accurately you can approach the teacher or caretaker and voice your concerns.
No one likes to be on the receiving end of a harsh criticism right from the start. Try to find something worth praising or noting in the school or person who is working with your child. Starting the conversation out on a positive note shows that not only are you concerned about your child’s well being, but that you also notice and appreciate the dedication and enthusiasm of the caregivers and teachers involved.
When it comes time to share your complaint, try to keep the issue on the actual incident instead of the people involved. This helps minimize any later confrontations (between your child and another child, for example), and also helps the teacher focus on the problem and not the ones who started it. Also, don’t forget or ignore your child’s possible role in the problem. Usually when an issue arises, there are two causes – not just one.
Don’t be quick to point the fingers or judge others – no matter how tempting. Rather, work with your child’s teacher or caregiver on coming up with several solutions to the problem and reaffirm your active role in your child’s education. By being a problem-solver, you’re not only showing that you’re active and involved in your child’s life, but also that you’re a responsible individual who cares about coming up with solutions rather than winning arguments.
After you explain your concerns to the teacher or caretaker, follow up with them and your child to see how things have improved. If the situation hasn’t changed, take your complaint to the next person up and repeat the steps above until a resolution has been made. Being informed and involved with your child’s school shows that you’re more interested in seeing quality results than making a one-time complaint and letting the issue sit while nothing is done to correct it.

Above all, show empathy and understanding toward the person being criticized. No one likes to bear the brunt of a complaint, so try to finish up the conversation on a positive or enthusiastic note. Express your confidence in the school or day care center and show that you’re looking forward to a new beginning – one where everyone wins. Good luck!

PREPARING FOR KINDERGAGARTEN

2008-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

It’s almost that time of year when you’ll be holding your little one’s hand and leading them into that public education abyss where they will be staying for at least the next 12 years and turning into the people you hope they will be. Yes…it’s time to take your child to kindergarten. As much as you’ve prepared yourself for this day, it’s suddenly just around the corner and you’re not quite sure what to do. On the one hand, you know that this transition to another area of childhood is an important step; on the other hand, this is your baby! So how do you prepare yourself for the transition? How do you prepare your child? Obviously there is one thing you need to do so that other things will fall into place. You must register your child for school. Some parents opt out of kindergarten because in most states, kindergarten is not mandatory. However, in this day and age, there’s a lot that a child misses out on if he or she is not enrolled in some kind of preschool program. Every state is different in the requirements for registering a child for kindergarten. In North Carolina, for example, a child has to be 5 years old by October 16. In California, children need to be 5 by December 2, and in Kansas, by September 1, in order to attend kindergarten starting in the year they turn 5 years old. In most states, children need to be immunized and a health assessment done before they can go to a public school. Once you’ve gotten the "have to’s" out of the way, now it’s time to work on the separation anxiety. In one way or another, you and/or your child will experience this. Here are 10 suggestions for working together to curb the anxiety.

Usually your child’s school will have lists available to parents for school supplies that will be needed throughout the year. Once you get the list, go shopping for school supplies together. Have your child pick out their own backpack or book bag. Encourage your child to find the items that they need for school. You may want to let them pick out something special that is not required that they can take to school as a reminder of their shopping day together with you.
Talk about school at different times through the days and weeks leading up to the beginning of school. Talk about it in an encouraging way. Tell your child happy and fun stories about your school experiences.
Help your child pick out a new outfit for the first day of school.
There may be other children in your neighborhood or your church who will be going to the same school. Get together with them and their parents for a "play day" or cookout so the kids will get to know each other a little, and so the parents can share ideas or discuss any concerns about their children starting school.
Go to the school with your child on a day before the start of school. Walk around the playground. Look into a couple of the windows, if they are at ground level, so your child can see what the classroom looks like.
Make sure you go to kindergarten orientation.
Help your child to meet new friends by giving them an incentive to do so. Promise your child that after they get home each day during their first week, you will award them with a quarter for each new name they can give you of children they have met that day.
Fix your child’s favorite dinner the night before school. Fix their favorite breakfast on the first day of school, or go out for a special breakfast that day.
Walk your child to the front door of the school building and let them go in by themselves. This will give them a sense of independence and will give you a chance to say your goodbyes and go back to the car. (You don’t want them to see you if you start crying!)
Be on time to pick up your child at the end of the school day.

Of course, being interested in your child’s day is one of the most important things you can do to ensure his or her success. When you drop your child off to go to school, do your best to think happy thoughts and not worry about your child. Keep in mind that no matter how much separation anxiety you and your child go through during the first few days of school, things will eventually even out and you and your child will be okay. One of these days your little munchkin will no longer want to hug you goodbye in front of their friends, so savor every moment you can! The most important thing to remember though, is that by laying the foundation now, you are giving your child one of the best gifts you can give—an education.

HEALTHY PACKED LUNCH

2008-09-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

Are you stuck for packed lunch idea? Aware that certain fats are bad but not sure how to avoid them? Well, read on because you will find lots of tips and ideas for healthy packed lunches.

As a parent, you might have gone through the anxiety of wanting to give your child health packed lunches, but also providing something that they will actually eat. After all, a child that won’t eat their packed lunch is probably just as unhealthy as one that eats a packed lunch made up of junk. It’s a huge pressure – I know all too well - but there are certain things you can do to help ease the stress of it all.

The key is in the word “balance” – making sure that your child has all the essential nutrients to help them be healthy and grow, but a little bit of naughtiness so that they don’t get hung up about food and see it as being a bad thing.

Lunchbox ideas:

Sandwiches – ideally, these should contain protein (cheese, meat or egg) plus either a vegetable or fruit - if your child won’t eat veg, adding fruit to sandwiches gives a bit of sweetness and adds to their five a day. Using relish or salad cream/mayonnaise will also make it more flavoursome. For example: cream cheese and banana, cheddar and tomato relish, chicken and thinly sliced tomato, ham and tomato, egg mayo with sultanas, chicken and grapes (try it!).

Bread – well we all know that white bread is no good. To try and wean children off white bread if they won’t eat anything else, try making sandwiches out of one slice brown and one slice white – you could even make this into a bit of fun, let them know that it’s a special sandwich for a super special child!

Fruit – children are much more likely to eat fruit if it is already chopped and in its own container or Tupperware, rather than if you give them a whole piece of fruit which can be a bit daunting. Try a mixture of grapes, blueberries, strawberries and raspberries for children that “don’t like fruit” or the more traditional mix of orange, grape and apple (squirt a little lemon over it to help stop it turning brown) for those that do.

Snacks – hummus with carrot sticks, cheese slices and tomato, nuts with dried fruit, homemade cake made with honey (instead of sugar) and banana, root vegetable crisps instead of potato ones (look in larger supermarkets).

If you involve your children in making snacks at the weekend, they may be more likely to eat them in their packed lunch. For example, making healthy muffins with blueberries, wholemeal flour and half honey/half sugar to sweeten. Or slice potatoes really finely, dowse in healthy olive oil and a pinch of sea salt and bake in a hot oven until golden brown, for perfect homemade crisps.

If you’re really at a loss and are not sure where to start, a good place to begin is by first establishing if your child prefers sweet taste or savoury taste. If children prefer sweet taste, try and encourage fruit eating, and for savoury eaters, try and encourage them to eat veggies sticks chopped matchstick thin and eaten with something tasty such as cheese.

They key is to take small steps and to not give up. You will get there, even if you are not sure how! One small step at a time.

EDUCATION SUPPLIES

2008-09-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

While August is the popular month for saving money on education supplies, there are other places you can look to find discount school supplies and clothes. With a little creativity and planning, you will find all the education supplies your children need whether you are a parent or a teacher.

1. Let’s get sales on education supplies out of the way. If it is already August the smart thing to do is to check out the supplies for school at local drug, discount and school supply stores. National chains offer tremendous savings on school supplies this time of year. Get to the sales early and you will find what you need and save a bundle in the process. Teachers can find many classroom supplies on sale at this time as well. If you are a teacher, be sure to take advantage of tax free discounts!

2. Close out stores like Big Lots have school supplies year-round. Notebooks, pencils, rulers, lined paper and folders usually line at least one shelf. While your kids may not appreciate the choice they have in clothing, education supplies can be bought anywhere.

3. Yard sales are a great place to find some of your children’s clothing. If you go to the right neighborhoods, you can find fashionable clothes for a few bucks. It may take some looking, but it is possible to find cute jeans and tops. If your kids balk at the idea of yard sale clothes, just take their measurements and go to them yourself. If you have a bit of fashion savvy, you can get great deals without letting your children know where you got them.

4. For supplies for school, dollar stores are a great place to look. You can buy packages of pens, pencils, erasers and folders for $1 each. Be careful, though. Sometimes you can find even better deals on paper and notebooks on sale at other stores. Why pay a dollar for a notebook when you can pay fifty cents at Target?

5. Warehouse outlets carry name brand clothing at discount prices. Most children -- even teenagers don’t care about the “discount” clothes when the store sign and clothing tags have brand names written on them. Many of these places offer savings of up to 50% on clothes and shoes.

6. If you have you have children of the same gender that are a year or so apart in age, the chances are that you can get away with passing down some clothes. This only works if you make sure to get your younger children something extra which the older child won’t get -- like a brand new lunch box, backpack or purse. You can pretend they are missing out anyway. It’s deceptive, but believe me, the plan does work sometimes.

7. Search online for discount school supplies. Teachers can find fantastic prices on classroom supplies if they get a head start on shopping. Parents can find some of the education supplies their children need by going to places like Amazon and eBay. If your children need specific books for literature classes, online bookstores such as Amazon offer used books as well as new. Scientific calculators can break your budget. They are not cheap, but you can find them cheaper if you look on eBay and other auction sites. There are online school supply stores which carry all such items all year long. Often they will have sales on school supplies at the same time as the brick and mortar stores. If you can be sure the items will get to you on time, this is a great way to shop without having to brave the traffic. With the price of gas these days, the shipping costs may be worth it in terms of time and money.

Whether you are a parent or a teacher trying to find classroom supplies, you can find bargains any time of year. Give these pieces of advice some consideration and you will find everything you need in education supplies and school clothes without breaking the bank to do it.

SCHOOL SUPPLIES

2008-09-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

It is time to buy school supplies. The stores will be stocked up on the basics and sending out circulars with coupons and ads. Some places will have better deals than others, so it is a good idea to start comparison shopping right now. If you are overwhelmed, you should know that is common. If you have more than one child, there will likely be a difference in the school supplies you will need.

Exactly what you will need in school supplies depends on the ages of your children and the school they are attending. Many teachers are now sending out lists of needed items ahead of time so the students can be prepared on the first day instead of having to wait for a week or two before they have all they need. Waiting to shop for school supplies can cause a disruption in the students’ ability to do their assignments correctly.

If you have not received such a list, you can still do the bulk of your school supply shopping. It is easier to get everything you need if you take along a list.

Basic Back to School Supplies:

. Pencils - These are one of the things of which you should buy more than you think your children will need. Pencils get lost, stolen, broken and worn down. Buy twice as many as you think each of your children will need. Older children will need pens as well.

. Lined Paper - Depending on the age of your children, you may need the larger “learn to write” lined paper and/or notebook paper. If the price is lower than you can expect to find it later, purchase two for each child and put the extras away for later.

. Printer Paper - Make sure you have plenty of this in stock at home as well as in your children’s backpacks.

. Construction Paper - If you have very young children, construction paper is a good thing to keep on hand. Buy two pads of these for each child. Your child will likelyhave projects to do at home and this saves having to run out and buy it the night before a project is due.

. Crayons, colored pencils and waterproof markers - which of these you buy will depend on the age of your children.

. Notebooks - Buy several one subject notebooks per child (except for the 5 to 7 year olds) and at least one five subject notebook for each of your children who are in middle or high school.

. Erasers - Pencil toppers and big erasers.

. Binders - Each child will be able to use at least one binder. Many junior high and senior high schools require more than one binder. Here is where a pre-school list from teachers can come in handy! If you don’t have such a list yet, buy at least one binder for each of your children.

. Calculators - Basic calculators for children who are in upper elementary classes and a scientific calculator for older children. If your child is taking algebra, geometry, calculus or trigonometry, they will likely need the more expensive brands. Here is another place where starting early can be helpful. Find the best deal possible!

Another School Supply Consideration:

Make sure your family or your child’s computer is running efficiently and has the necessary memory for holding the mountains of homework your children are likely to be doing. Nearly all written essays and reports are not only researched via the internet but are written on the computer as well. Many schools are now recommending that all children have laptop computers. Be sure to ask your child’s school about how a laptop might fit into your school supply list.

School supply lists can be very complicated, but finding great deals on the basic school supplies doesn’t have to be complicated at all. If you can find a good online store that that has these items at discount prices, you may be able to buy in bulk and have everything delivered to your door! Don’t wait until school starts before getting as many school supplies as possible.

JOKES FOR PARENT

2008-09-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

A mother was scolding her teenage daughter for her careless hairdo. "You modern girls don't care how you look. Your hair looks worse than a mop." To which the daughter inquired innocently, "What's a mop?"

The father of four cleared the room of toys and chuckled to the minister who was visiting, "Since I've been a married, Ive learned what Paul meant by saying, "When I became a man, I put away childish things,' "

A critical neighbor was speaking of the spoiled palyboy who lived next door. "He went to college and received a B.A., but his M.A. and his P.A. still support him."

A love struck 17-year-old was begging his father to sign for his marriage license. "Don't worry about me making a living, Dad. Two can live as cheaply as one!" "I'm sure two can. Your mother and I have lived as cheaply as you for some time now."

The motto of a single mother: Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, and work like a dog.

A single mother was giving her daughter piano lessons every day of the week. One day a man knocked on the door. "Who are you?" the single mom asked. "Jones, the piano tuner." "But I didn't send for you," she protested. "No, but the couple in the apartment upstairs did."

Sammy was practicing his violin lesson while the next door neighbor's hound dog howled pitifully. The neighbor took all he could and finally came over to talk to Sammy's parents. "Please, can't the boy play something the dog doesn't know?"

Two scientists were debating the possibility of life on Jupiter. "I'm sure there's no life ther," said one. "It's never been listed on my daughter's cell phone bills."

A young mother pushed her baby in a stroller while the baby wailed loudly. A child psychologist met her while walking his dog and heard her saying, "Be calm, Margie. Take it easy Margie!" "Young lady," he said, "I congratulate you on knowing how to calm babies." The he leaned over the stroller and said, "Hi Margie. You're a cute little cry baby." "No! No! the mother shrieked, "Im Margie. She's Beverly."

The brown's little baby was quiet and never spoke. The child remained that way until it was six. The one day at the table, the child said distinctly, "Pass the potatoes." Mr. Brown and his wife were flabbergasted. He said, "You've never spoken before. Why did you do it now?" "Didn't need anything until now," the kid said.

Q. What do you call an aborted fetus in Czechoslovakia? A. A canceled Czech

10 WAYS TO MAKE CHILDREN SMARTER

2008-09-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

Scientific research shows that intelligence is both genetic and environmental. Intelligence is also not fixed but can be increased because the brain develops new neurons and interconnections with stimulation.

A supportive environment fosters numerous aspects of intelligence. The following 10 easy ways to stimulate intelligence in children will provide an "enriched environment" for brain growth.

1. Love and Self-Esteem Improve Academic Performance

In a long series of experiments, Prescott Lecky, an American educational researcher, found a high correlation between low self-esteem and learning problems in children.

He correctly theorized that by raising a child's self-esteem, learning performance would also improve.

His success stories include a poor speller who averaged 55% in spelling improved to 91% in six months, a Latin student who went from 30% to 84% after three encouraging conversations with a teacher, and a student considered to have no aptitude for English who improved over a semester to win the school's literary prize.

2. Breast Fed Babies Are Smarter

Danish researchers found that mother's milk contained essential micronutrients for brain development. In fact, the longer the child was breast fed, the more the brain was nourished. For example, infants breast fed for 9 months were smarter than infants only breast-fed for two months.

3. Proper Nutrition Improve Health And Nerve Conduction

Diets high in sugar, Trans fatty acids, and salt decreased health in children. Junk food failed to provide sufficient iron for healthy brain development, resulting in poor nerve impulses. Children with nutritional deficiency also missed school more often because of illness and fell behind their peers.

4. Proper Breakfast Improves Attention At School

Thirty years of research has shown a strong correlation between breakfast and mental alertness. Children who had nutritious breakfasts had better memory. They also concentrated better and absorbed more information during class. Those who had no breakfast or poor breakfast were more irritable and distracted during class.

5. Exercise Benefits Intelligence And Personality

Research conducted by the University of Illinois showed that fitter children performed better academically. Besides the obvious physiological benefits of improved oxygen intake, blood flow, immune stimulation, and neural transmission, there was also a psychological and sociological component, too. Psychologically, fitter children showed higher self-esteem. Sociologically, those who participated in organized sports displayed more confidence, more cooperation, and spontaneous leadership.

6. Musical Training Improves IQ Into Adulthood

Long-term research by the University of Toronto showed that organized music lessons benefited children all the way into adulthood. The longer the child studied music, the higher their IQs as adults. Music students also displayed better grades throughout their schooling.

7. Some Video Games Enhance Mental Acuity

Research by the University of Rochester found that certain video games improved sensory perception, strategic thinking, and planning ahead of time. The video games that created positive mental improvements had an educational element that improved motor skills and enhanced memory.

8. Mind Games Do More Than Entertain

Board games like chess, checkers, creative games like Lego and jigsaw puzzles, and brainteaser games like crosswords, cryptograms, riddles, and Sudoku improved intelligence. Specifically, they stimulated better decision-making, smarter analytical thinking, and more accurate problem solving.

9. Reading Improves Both Creativity And Logic

Whether a child was read to at bedtime, or actively read their own books, silently or aloud, they displayed increased left and right brain intellectual growth. Both fiction and non-fiction books improved creative imagination and logical, sequential thinking.

10. Nurturing Curiosity Creates An Open, Absorbent Mind

Curiosity, the urge to seek knowledge, is essential to improving intelligence in children. Conducting educational outings, teaching new skills, and supporting hobbies encouraged the development of curiosity.

These 10 ways of raising intelligence in children are easy to apply, practical, and within the reach of parents and teachers. Research has shown that they are highly effective in creating the environmental support children need to develop their intelligence.

HOME SCHOOLING

2008-09-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

In these present times, getting the best education for your children is of the utmost importance. The topic of student education is a controversial one as there are more than a few options available for the parent to plan the educational development of their children. It does not help that the public educational setting is often full of issue and debate over allocation of school funding, curricula choices and external influences. These things and others end up affecting a student's education, personal development and belief system.

As time has past, it has been taken for granted that getting a good education and nurturing the academic and interest path of many children is successfully accomplished by the institutionalized school systems of our states and cities.

For many, the public school systems have not met the needs of many parents and their children with respect to the academic educational standards expected by the proactive parent. This has resulted in a growing movement of parents taking the education of their children into their own hands. Home schooling continues to grow and to expand as more and more parents realize the many benefits and advantages of teaching at home.

Home schooling offers many benefits and advantages over traditional educational methods and systems offered through our public schools.

Home schooling allows the parent to select the exact lesson plan or curriculum the students will learn from based on what the parent thinks is best for the student, not the public school system. It is often found that many public schools teach students subjects that are academically irrelevant, not challenging, or that are really best left to the parent to teach.

Home schooling offers a control mechanism over this and allows for a way to tailor the student's education to specific interests and desires while continuing to provide a challenge level that will keep the student growing in terms of his or her learning abilities.

Home schooling offers flexibility of the educational process. Some students excel at some things but not at others. Home schooling a student of this nature would allow that student to excel where his or her strengths are while at the same time allowing that student to spend a little more in the development of the weaker areas.

Some students are gifted and do well with all subject matter they are being taught. For them, home schooling allows for the education process to be more challenging since a more academically challenging curriculum can be adopted. Gifted home schooled students are able to pursue their interests and development path without the time constraints or curriculum limitations that are present in the traditional learning environment.

There are many ways that home schooling can be accomplished today. Some parents opt for a structured curriculum while others use available textbooks. Some parents combine these things with their own teaching while others teach each lesson completely of their own resources. Knowing this, it is evident that this education process is completely flexible, can be specifically tailored to the student's needs and can be changed on the fly as student educational needs change.

Home schooling offers other indirect advantages as well. One of these might be more available time. Home schooling can be an efficient way to teach. The time you have during the day can be used efficiently, thereby reducing the overall time that the student actually spends at school. This efficient use of time results in more time to be spent on additional activities either related or unrelated to the student's education.

Home schooling allows for the parent to become the main mentor and source of guidance for a child. Since a home schooled child relates to the parent a lot more, the child and parent can form a tighter bond than they might otherwise form. This bond could be the foundation of a higher degree of trust between the child and parent where the child is more apt to come to the parent for help and guidance instead of turning elsewhere.

Home schooling can be an outlet for a special case where a child may have been a victim of excessive bullying at a regular public school. School bullying is a serious problem at some schools and is a hard issue to resolve. The home schooling of a child victimized in this way offers the child a way to re-focus on learning while at the same time being able to receive the close parental guidance needed to overcome how the child handles situations of this nature.

It is now known for a fact that home schooled students do well when it comes to college preparation. In general, home schooled students have performed equal to or better than public schooled students on SAT assessments. In addition, it is a fact that home schooled students have an equal success factor for doing well in college as their public schooled peers.

Home schooling is not for everyone. Each parent should carefully evaluate whether home schooling will benefit their particular situation or not. There are many considerations to be made when choosing to home school, but for many, home schooling has been a choice that has proven to be very beneficial to the student's exceptional education.

SCHOOSING CHILD CARE : a tips

2008-09-11T21:11:00.000-07:00

Finding good childcare requires patience, persistence and a few detective skills. Here's what to look for in a qualified day-care center.

For most of us, returning to work and finding alternative care for our child is a fact of life. For many, licensed day-care centers offer the answer. The question is, what makes a good day-care center?

Every day-care center provides, as the name implies, all day care including snacks, lunch and naptime. Generally the caregivers at licensed day-care centers must be fully trained in Early Childhood Education, or its equivalent. Beyond that, the signs of a good day-care center is how adult caregivers interact with children, says Nadia Hall of Mothercraft. "Look at the way care-giving routines are handled such as eating. Is it a time to socialize, to have a warm conversation so as to develop language skills and to allow the child to feel special? Look to see that children's self esteem is being built and that each child is known intimately well by the care-giver."

Hall believes one of the benefits of good day-care is socialization, even for babies as young as ten months. "Children form peer groups at nine and ten months and they know when someone is away. By the time they are toddlers they have formed a very solid peer group and that's the time care-givers are teaching them social skills such as sharing, empathy and learning how to do things as a group."

Finally, Hall says that as good as a day-care center may be, it may still not be the answer for your own child. "If the child is shy, slow to warm up to large groups of children or bothered by the noise level then perhaps a better option is family day care at private homes where there are smaller numbers with one nurturing mother figure."

While leaving young children behind in care is inevitable for many working parents, it's still a difficult adjustment. But by finding the most appropriate childcare arrangement from the onset, this back-to-work transition can be eased for both child and parent.

FIGHTS WITH OTHERS

2008-09-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

Is your child on the outs with her friends? As tempting as it is, jumping in to solve her tiffs isn't the best solution.

When our children have a fight with one of their friends, it's very tempting to want to step in and wave a magic wand to make it all better. After all, it's difficult to see your child hurt. Of course if a child is being physically and verbally abused, we need to step in, perhaps by speaking to a teacher or parent. But if the hurt is due to a tiff between a couple of friends, our best reaction is to simply listen says pediatrician Dr. Kathryn Leonard. "I think so often a child will come home from school and tell you of something awful a friend did to them and our response will be to tell them to forget about it and that this person wasn't a good friend anyway. It’s an attempt to make a child feel better. It’s more important to be noncommittal and ask about what happened, how they feel, and to just be on the receiving end of things. There is no way a parent can help them feel better by telling them not to feel bad."

Parent educator Sarah Dimmerman agrees. "If a child has been hurt by one of his friends at school, a parent shouldn't immediately jump in and try to change the situation, instead they should focus on their own child's thoughts and feelings, help them problem solve, and see what their options are in dealing with the situation the next time."

Michelle Borba, author of "Esteem Builders" adds that when a child is having trouble making or keeping friends, parents may need to hone their detective skills to "see if you can pinpoint where the problem is. So often they're saying that they're having problems with friends. This is too general. See if there's a specific problem like sharing or conversing. Pinpoint it and then reteach it as a skill by modeling how to do that one area. "

Finally, it really helps if children know that no matter what storm they're weathering at school, they are 100% supported by their parents on the home front says Dimmerman. "It's always important for children to know, especially when they're about to go into grade one, that they have a really open and good relationship with their parents to talk about what's happened."

MAKE FRIENDS

2008-09-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Socializing is one of the most complex skills a child will learn. As parents, we can do a lot to help them develop these skills positively.

Even as toddlers, friends play a special role in children's lives. Friendship helps build self esteem and teach empathy. But the seeds of friendship begin before the toddler years, planted when our children are still infants.

Child psychiatrist Dr. Alice Charach explains that "friendship actually begins at birth because the basic building block of friendship is that special relationship between a child and his parent. After children have developed really strong, trusting relationships with their mom or dad, they can then go on and expand their world." Dr. Charach adds that "children start to expand their world around age one or two, when they become interested in other children. They want to be with them, play with them, and watch them. And that is when it's really helpful for parents to start coaching them in what is the best way in getting along with other children."

Making friends begins with learning how to play. "The first type of play that you’ll see your child engage in is solitary play," says child life specialist Bindy Sweet. That means playing alone or watching others. People get concerned about children playing alone or watching others and they think that it isn’t really play. But it’s fine for children to have time alone and watch others."

At about 18 months we begin to see children engage in parallel play. "That’s the kind of play we often get when toddlers get together," says Sweet. "They’re playing side by side but doing different things. They’re getting comfortable with each other and watching each other, but we wouldn’t really call it interactive play at that point. Soon however they will move into co-operative play where you see that back and forth exchange and communication."

During the toddler years friendship can involve little fights and bouts of crying. But Dr. Charach says many fights can be avoided by preparing children for visits with friends. "If you want to help young children develop friendships, then make sure they're not tired and hungry when they're with little friends. Help them feel good at the time that they're with their friends and they are more likely to have positive experiences."

CHOOSING A PRESCHOOL

2008-09-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Preschool is a big step for a child. Make sure the one you’re sending your little one to is right for him.

Sending your child off to nursery or preschool is a big step for both children and parents. After all, it’s usually children’s first taste of true independence and possibly the first time they’ll have been separated from parents or caregivers on a regular basis.

Naturally you’ll want to choose the best nursery or preschool possible for your child. But what should you look for? According to preschool consultant Dr. Jennifer Hardacre, "the most important thing to consider is the teacher, in that all preschool teachers should be well qualified and show an interest in your child’s particular needs. They should also have a degree in early childhood education or it’s equivalent."

Something else to look for is the way the nursery school program is presented. Dr. Hardacre feels that young children need an atmosphere that “is relaxed and low-key, and that has plenty of time for individual children to pursue their own interests. So for instance you might see in the morning for as much as an hour, many different activities for children to engage themselves in. That’s where you see the sand play available, and the water play and the dramatic play and the big blocks and puzzles, and art materials. There should be plenty of time for individual activities to go on.”

Of course songs and games are a major component of the preschool experience. However Dr. Hardacre adds that it’s best if “group activities are brief and pleasant and not dominated by requirements to sit up and sit still.”

Overall, nursery school should be far less structured than what your child will experience when they reach grade one and their formal education begins in earnest. Dr. Hardacre says you’ll know if a nursery school is right for your child by researching the school, asking good questions of the teachers and by listening to your intuition. “I think if the adult gets the feeling of being relaxed and comfortable, then the children likely feel relaxed and comfortable too. "

STRUGGLING SCHOOL-AGE BOYS

2008-09-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.

Every other week it seems a new study comes out that adds to our already-formidable arsenal of parental worries. But even by those escalating standards, the report issued last week by the federal government's contained a jaw-dropper: the parents of nearly one of every five boys in the United States were concerned enough about what they saw as their sons' emotional or behavioral problems that they consulted a doctor or a health-care professional.

The report confirms what many of us have been observing for some time now: that lots of school-age boys are struggling. And, parents are intensely worried about them.

What is ailing our sons? Some experts suggest we are witnessing an epidemic of ADHD and say boys need more medication. Others say that environmental pollutants found in plastics, among other things, may be eroding their attention spans and their ability to regulate their emotions.

Those experts may be right but I have another suggestion. Let's examine the way our child rearing and our schools have evolved in the last 10 years. Then ask ourselves this challenging question: could some of those changes we have embraced in our families, our communities and our schools be driving our sons crazy?

Instead of unstructured free play, parents now schedule their kids' time from dawn till dusk (and sometimes beyond.) By age 4, an ever-increasing number of children are enrolled in preschool. There, instead of learning to get along with other kids, hold a crayon and play Duck, Duck, Goose, children barely out of diapers are asked to fill out work sheets, learn computation or study Mandarin. The drumbeat for early academics gets even louder when they enter "real" school. Veteran teachers will tell you that first graders are now routinely expected to master a curriculum that, only 15 years ago, would have been considered appropriate for second, even third graders. The way we teach children has changed, too. In many communities, elementary schools have become test-prep factories—where standardized testing begins in kindergarten and "teaching to the test" is considered a virtue. At the same time, recess is being pushed aside in order to provide extra time for reading and math drills. So is history and opportunities for hands-on activities—like science labs and art. Active play is increasingly frowned on—some schools have even banned recess and tag. In the wake of school shootings like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, kids who stretch out a pointer finger, bend their thumb and shout "pow!" are regarded with suspicion and not a little fear.

Our expectations for our children have been ramped up but the psychological and physical development of our children has remained about the same. Some kids are thriving in the changing world. But many aren't. What parents and teachers see—and what this government study now shows—is that the ones who can't handle it are disproportionately boys.

Some researchers responded to last weeks' study by calling for more resources for more mental-health services for children—especially males. That's an admirable goal. But when nearly one in five boys has such serious behavioral and emotional issues that their parents are talking it over with their pediatrician, you can bet we are facing a problem that requires a more fundamental change in our society than medication or weekly therapy. Let's take a moment, before the school year gets any farther underway, and ask ourselves whether we are raising and educating our boys in a way that respects their natural development. And if we are not, let's figure out how we can bring our family life and our schools back into line.

SUCCESFUL APPROACHES IN EDUCATION

2008-09-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

Successful Approaches to Family Involvement in Education

This idea is intended to assist educators, parents, and policy makers as they develop and nurture school-family partnerships. These district and school programs enhance parent-school communications and help parents support their children's academic work at school and at home.

Some of the programs involve parents in school planning and governance activities and as volunteers. Some also provide coordinated essential non-educational services for families to support their children's academic development. Telephone interviews with staff and parents at these programs as well as focus group interviews with parents provided the detailed illustrations of specific strategies for overcoming barriers to parent involvement included here.

This idea suggests ways that schools, families, and communities can work together to build strong partnerships. It is organized around strategies for overcoming common barriers to family involvement in schools. These strategies include:

Overcoming time and resource constraints. In order to build strong partnerships, families and school staff members need time to get to know one another, plan how they will work together to increase student learning, and carry out their plans. Successful programs find the time and resources for both teachers and parents to develop school-family partnerships.
Providing information and training to parents and school staff. Without the information and skills to communicate with each other, misperceptions and distrust can flourish between parents and school personnel. Initiatives to bridge the information gap between parents and school are at the center of each of the 20 programs reviewed for this Idea Book. Through workshops and a variety of outreach activities such as informative newsletters, handbooks, and home visits, parents and school staff across these programs are learning how to trust each other and work together to help children succeed in school.
Restructuring schools to support family involvement. Developing a successful school-family partnership must be a whole school endeavor, not the work of a single person or program. Traditional school organization and practices, especially in secondary schools, often discourage family members from becoming involved. To create a welcoming environment for parents, one that enlists their support in helping their children succeed, schools can make changes that make them more personal and inviting places. Whatever steps schools take in developing partnerships with families, schools that are most successful are prepared to reconsider all of their established ways of doing business and to restructure in ways that will make them less hierarchical, more personal, and more accessible to parents.
Bridging school-family differences. Language and cultural differences as well as differences in educational attainment separating families and school staff can make communication and family participation in school activities difficult. Strategies to address these differences include reaching out to parents with little formal education, addressing language differences through bilingual services for communicating both orally and in writing with families about school programs and children's progress, and promoting cultural understanding to build trust between home and school.
Tapping external supports for partnerships. Many Title I schools have nourished and strengthened partnerships by tapping the supports available in their local communities and beyond. Collaborative efforts to provide schools and families with the tools they need to support learning can include partnerships with local businesses, health care and other community service agencies, and colleges and universities, as well as supports provided by school districts and states.

FAMILIES AND SCHOOL AS PARTNERS

2008-09-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

If families are to work with schools as partners in the education of their children, schools must provide them with the opportunities and support they need to become involved. Too often schools expect families to do it all alone. Developing effective partnerships with families requires that all school staff (administrators, teachers, and support staff) create a school environment that welcomes parents and encourages them to raise questions and voice their concerns as well as to participate appropriately in decision making. Developing partnerships also requires that school staff provide parents with the information and training they need to become involved and that they reach out to parents with invitations to participate in their children's learning.

Schools that are most successful in engaging parents and other family members in support of their children's learning look beyond traditional definitions of parent involvement--participating in a parent teacher organization or signing quarterly report cards--to a broader conception of parents as full partners in the education of their children. Rather than striving only to increase parent participation in school-based activities, successful schools seek to support families in their activities outside of school that can encourage their children's learning. Schools that have developed successful partnerships with parents view student achievement as a shared responsibility, and all stakeholders--including parents, administrators, teachers, and community leaders--play important roles in supporting children's learning.

Successful school-family partnerships require the sustained mutual collaboration, support, and participation of school staffs and families at home and at school in activities that can directly affect the success of children's learning. If families are to work with schools as full partners in the education of their children, schools must provide them with the opportunities and support they need for success.

PARENTING TIPS

2008-09-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

A Well-Balanced Meal: Fighting Childhood Obesity

When the mont with it warmer spring weather and new beginnings, making it the perfect time to begin a healthier and more active lifestyle. Making good food choices helps the entire family stay healthy and is especially important to help children develop strong bones and muscles.

At the most schools, the teachers may integrate nutrition into daily activities to help children learn to make good food choices, as well as learn how food helps keep their bodies healthy and strong. Students learn to identify nutritious foods as part of the Balanced Learning® curriculum, practice healthy habits and life skills during the regular school day, and even grow their own fruits and vegetables in an on site garden.

Teachers find that integrating health, nutrition, and physical activity into daily experiences and routines helps to promote health and well-being as a way of life. Here are a few tips to help you and your family set the early foundations for a lifetime of healthy choices:

• Make mealtime family time and set a good example. Turn off the television and try to eat at least one meal a day together as a family. Children tend to eat more fruits, vegetables, and dairy when they watch adults and older siblings do the same at shared meals.
• Get the family involved in meal planning and preparation. Set guidelines for healthy meals and ask each family member to select a meal for the week by leafing through magazines, recipe books, or browsing online for healthy meal options. Grocery shop together as family and point out healthy foods as you go.
• Make healthy foods readily available. Keep healthy snacks—fruit, whole-grain crackers, vegetable sticks, cheese, etc.—at eye-level in the pantry and refrigerator. Store these items in a variety of locations such as the car, in backpacks and purses, etc. so they are readily available when needed.
• Incorporate fruits and vegetables into favorite family recipes. Chop fruit and vegetables and add them to family favorites such as pizza, pasta sauce, lean hamburger, etc. for a quick and easy way to increase your family’s fruit and vegetable intake.
• Eat a variety of colors at each meal. Incorporating colorful fruits, vegetables, and low fat cheeses into meals with more neutral-colored proteins and starches is a simple way to ensure a balance of vitamins and nutrients at every meal.
• Balance good food choices with an active lifestyle. Encourage everyone in the family to be active, whether it means playing outside, being involved in sports, joining a gym, etc. Balancing healthy eating with physical activity helps each family member maintain optimum health.

PARTENTING TIPS

2008-09-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

Using Computers with Children at Home

Computers have become an essential part of today’s world. At school teachers integrate computers into daily learning to enhance children’s cognitive and social development and help them learn to use technology effectively.
Computers and the Internet enable children to explore the world in a new way and provide resources to answer a variety of questions. Many children may enjoy playing on the computer alone or with a friend. In addition, teachers have found that children benefit even more from their time at the computer when they spend time reviewing the selected Internet sites, games, or activities with them first. This enables the teachers to explain rules for the computer and Internet, preview games and Internet sites for age-appropriate activities, as well as have conversations with children about what they are learning on the computer. Spending time together on the computer provides an opportunity for a shared learning experience and for adults to share the purpose of computer-based activities.
Here are a few tips to help you and your family use computers and the Internet at home:
• Balance computer time with a variety of other experiences such as books, outdoor play, drawing, board games, toys, art projects, blocks, etc.
• Most children are ready to begin using computers at the age of three under adult supervision and guidance. They will pick up use of a mouse and keyboard quickly given the opportunity. Special child-sized keyboard and mouse are also available to better fit small hands.
• Discuss rules of computer use and demonstrate the various parts of a computer prior to use by children.
• Meet with your child’s teachers to coordinate and reinforce school learning with computer activities at home. Families have access to links and activities related to weekly School Units of Learning themes through the Theme-Related Links under the School-to-Home section of School Parents’ Place on the school website.
• Select online activities and software that provide a variety of creative learning opportunities such as early word processing skills and the review of academic skills such as number and letter recognition, etc.
• Use web quests to help children learn more about a particular subject or to answer a question about a topic. Families all have access to searchable websites through School Parents’ Place. Resources include online encyclopedias, safe web quests, and more.
• Allow children to print the work they have done on the computer to demonstrate tangible results of their work.